Are you scared of moving ahead? Are you afraid of the consequences of whatever you do? Do you react to everything with dread or fear? Do you have a fear of being judged?
Do you remain in a state of worry almost all the time?
If the answers to most of the above problems are yes, then you have got to get rid of this problem. There are multiple ways to get over it but before that, we’ll have a look at the philosophy behind staying scared all the time.
Why do you think ” I am scared of everything?”
Being scared of certain things and getting worried over certain things is not a problem. Instead, it is necessary for the smooth running of life. This normal feeling of fear or worry is important for two reasons
- It makes you aware of some dangerous situation
- It sends a message to your brain to take action against the coming danger
Human being’s emotions are not constant. They have to fluctuate and they do from time to time and situation to situation.
So getting worried or afraid is not always a problem. But, this feeling is not normal if it exceeds certain points i.e. whether it exceeds in time or in intensity. That means that if people start staying scared every time or that feeling of scariness and worry becomes very intense, then this is a real problem.
Keep in mind one thing here, getting scared or afraid in such situations is almost like getting worried. Let us take an example, you’ve forgotten the way to your home.
“What thoughts will come to your mind? I don’t think I can remember the way exactly. What will happen if I am not able to reach home? Where will I stay? People around me here are not good. I am in danger. Anyone can harm me. I have to get home no matter what but how and a lot of other things etc. etc.”
This was a general example of one situation of how people get scared over small things. These feelings of threat, apprehension, and fear are all components of worry. So we can count them as worries too. In the very start of the articles, some of such situations are mentioned.
There are some other very important situations too where one’s habit of staying worried all the time can be a serious problem.
There are some people out there who do not tend to avail opportunities because they are too scared of the consequences. Some people develop a belief that whatever they will do will result in something really bad or that they will not be able to achieve the goal.
So, they are too afraid to take risks in their lives.
Taking adventures or risks every time is not a wise thing to do. But avoiding any risks taking situations every time is the other extreme.
Life runs on risks. And if one does not have the courage for it, he may not achieve anything in his life. Thus, for a successful life, it is important that you carefully and smartly take risks and struggle to achieve things.
Why are some people scared of everything?
Habits don’t come by themselves. Especially the habits that have resulted in abnormalities certainly have some reasons behind them.
You may not remember them or not recognize them as serious, problem causing events but they are anyway. Before moving on to how one can identify those reasons, let us see what those reasons are.
There can be the following reasons
- They are by nature timid
- Their past experiences have made them so
- The consequences of their actions have made them feel terrible
Nature and Personality
The nature of a person is defined by genetics and biology. Researches have shown that people, whose family members have had the problems of anxiety or related behaviors, are more prone to develop such symptoms.
These symptoms include getting worried or afraid about small things or over everything.
(Read our stress-relieving tips which nobody tells)
Moreover, if your brain does not produce enough neurotransmitters GABA, the excitability states are not balanced and such problems may arise.
These can actually be the reasons when one says that this person is by nature timid or cowardly.
Past experiences cast a deep effect on a person’s life. It is very difficult to stay free from one’s past.
If you stay scary all the time, it is quite possible that there are certain experiences which have made you so.
Especially the experiences from one’s childhood can impact personality very seriously.
The following are some events that can lead to serious consequences in a person’s life.
- Loss of some loved ones
- Failure and reaction of others over it
- Strict and vigilant parenting
- Excessive criticism
- Expectations to be perfect
- Upbringing in the presence of some person who has similar problems
Let us take a few cases as examples.
When parents demand their child to be perfect and do not accept him/her in any lesser form, the child becomes obsessed with the consequences. With excessive fear in mind when a child tries to achieve some desired goal and cannot get it, the reaction from close relatives can make a child extra careful regarding his acts. This carefulness can make a child cynic regarding his own performance.
This scares him before taking any step.
Moreover, this problem can occur when a child is brought up in the company of someone, who has anxiety problems.
Children tend to copy their elders and their personality acts as a model for them. So, by the principles of learning, a child can learn such behaviors from elders.
The third case can be the loss of a loved one, especially if the person has been very close to that person. Sometimes the death of a person very close to you can make you think that you are incomplete without them.
This grief can be translated into the following thought, “I am incomplete without him. Now, when he is not around, it is not possible for me to achieve anything. I cannot get over any problem as everything was possible with him”. That ‘him’ can be a sister, brother, mother, father, or some close cousin too.
Consequences of actions
Sometimes, our actions do not bring us the desired results. Instead, some unpleasant consequences become fate. It is absolutely possible to get out of bad experiences.
But there are some people who develop some other negative thoughts out of them. And those negative thoughts derive their personality and behaviors.
There are two possibilities for negative consequences that can make a person look fearfully at everything.
- Generalizing the consequences of one event over everything: A person thinks that every action will lead to the same results. Therefore, he is scared of every new situation and sees everything from the eyes of that single event.
- Thinking that you had to face those outcomes because you are incapable: The person may think that his own incapability led to these harsh consequences. Now, whatever he tries to do, it will lead to the same dreadful results. This belief reduces his self-esteem and that person starts feeling scared in the face of any new situation.
Most often, the cause of such behaviors is not just failure to achieve something. Instead, it is the reaction of people around him that makes him feel terrible.
For example, this thought that people are talking about your incapability behind your back, makes them feel incompetent about themselves. Such reactions stop them from pursuing anything in their lives.
How does getting afraid of everything affect you?
From the above-discussed points, you must have an idea that how this behavior of feeling scared every time can affect your life. That is not all. We will discuss categorically what the problems are that this behavior can result into.
- Can lead to certain anxiety disorders like
Generalized anxiety disorder (feeling excessively worried for even small issues)
Social Anxiety disorder (esp. in kids, feeling too afraid of what others will think of them)
Specific phobia – feeling scared of dark, loud noises, crowded areas or certain other things like being scared of holidays. Some are even scared of social media.
- Can cause low self-esteem or confidence
- Will lead to low productivity
- Will make you think that you are not a useful part of this society
- Can lead to mistrust and related psychological problems
- Can cause stress and related disorders
In the above-mentioned problems, social and specific phobias are mostly seen in kids. Whereas, generalized anxiety disorder often occurs in adults. These problems result in the complete loss of functionality of an individual in society.
In addition to this, low self-esteem and low productivity resulting from the belief that “I am not able to do anything” or “I don’t know what to do“.
The person, who has low self-esteem and does not do anything with the fear of that, will definitely achieve nothing.
Thus, the fact that he has achieved nothing can further lead to feelings of worthlessness. This can cause stress, depression and other related problems.
From the above arguments, it has become clear that if you are really feeling scared of everything, that problem is not going to stop just there.
It will trigger other problems and just like a chain reaction, the situation will not stop becoming worse.
This means that you have to get rid of this problem because you are scared of everything.
How to overcome the fear of everything?
If you feel that you are having the same problems as are explained in the whole article, there’s no second chance except for getting over it.
Never settle for compromises because it is the matter of your life.
Let us figure out how you can solve this problem by yourself.
Figure out the cause
The first and foremost step in solving any problem is to get to its root cause first. It is of course difficult to know what exactly could cause the present issues in your personality. But, never think it is impossible. You just have to be serious and committed towards solving it.
To get to the root cause of your problem, you can do the following things.
- Doing introspection i.e. analyzing your own self completely. What situations lead to what type of reactions and since when did it same start happening etc.?
- Getting some guide from online psychological magazines
- Discussing and sharing problems with some loved ones.
- Writing down the problems and spending time in identifying their cause
These practices can really help you. You can divide it into steps. For example, once you identify what are the situations that get me scared the most.
Then question your beliefs like “should these things really be afraid of? What harm do these things pose? The harm that I perceive, is that justified? etc.” and find contradictory facts like “this thing does not harm anyone else, then why would it harm me? If everyone else is feeling safe then why don’t I?”
In addition to this, trace your problems as backwards as you can. This will help you identify where your problem started. So that you can justify yourself that it was not such a big reason to keep you scared of everything.
Have belief in yourself
If you are faced with the problems under discussion, then there is certainly a lack of self confidence in yourself. And if you really are serious in getting over this problem, have a belief that you can achieve anything if you try.
The key to reach some goals successfully is not just talent; it is working hard and working in the right direction. So why can you not achieve what you want by following the same steps?
Start from small steps. Make a routine and add small targets to achieve on a daily basis into it. Once you start following them and achieving small targets, you will feel your self-belief coming back to you. Moreover, listen to some motivational talks and success stories to develop self-confidence.
To have belief in yourself is necessary if you want to face everything without getting scared of them. Believe that everyone in this world is built with some specific characteristics and talents. So are you. The only thing that you need is to believe yourself and start struggling in the right way.
Don’t be afraid of failure
Failure is nothing to get afraid of. No one can achieve anything great without facing failure. If you have failed too, it is not a big deal. Just keep one thing in mind that failure is just another form of learning.
If you are thinking that you must only get success, then you are too idealistic in your approach. This is not humanly possible to make no mistakes. You need to do following things to not get afraid of failure
- Make sure that you learn from your mistakes.
- Know that your failure does not mean you are incapable, it just means that you have to try some different way next time
- Do not take people’s taunts about you to heart. They have no part in your struggle and no part in your success, so they simply do not matter.
If you start believing that your failure is just a next step towards a greater goal, you can remove your fears. Instead of avoiding failure, learn to fail fast. This means that instead of not trying at all, try again and again so that you learn more.
The more you fail, the more experienced you are. So don’t be afraid, fail more and faster and so that you are closer to success.
Be around those people who motivate you
Instead of wasting your energies in feeling bad about what ill people say about you, spend your time around those who are sincere with you. Try to be around encouraging and motivating people.
Such people make you feel that you have a great place in their lives and you are worth much. It will redirect positive energies towards you.
To think positively, it is important that you surround yourself less with negativity. Stay away from toxic people.
Share your concerns and problems with those people who consider them important to be resolved.
Sincere and honest people are a blessing and they can be a source of changing your life. The other good thing that they do to you is to recognize that the world is not a scary place to live in.
It has a much beautiful side too.
Just gather that positivity around you and look at everything with that. Read these life-changing sentences we compiled.
You will feel pleasant and life-changing effects in your life.
Never shy away from working hard
It is not a problem that you failed or could not perform well.
But if you do not have a habit of struggling consistently for your success, you will never grow. (But there is a problem with working hard)
If you keep struggling, there is no doubt that you will reach your goal one day. Instead of feeling scared of situations, try them and put all your energies into it.
What is more, don’t avoid taking risks; just take them with some prudence. That means that before jumping into any situation, do a calculative cost-benefit analysis and see if it is worth putting yourself into it or not.
But once you have taken a decision, don’t be work-shy. Give yourself to it if you want something in return.
Most often, what you get scared of is not harm but a way to success. Be careful about what to avoid and what to avail.
Moreover, every human being is prone to imperfections. Never judge yourself on the parameters set by someone else. Most importantly, if you are not able to get out of your mental state, don’t be late in seeking some therapist. (But read signs of a good therapist first).
Your life is important and so should you value it.