As much discredited by society, solitude has been the dearest and most defining trait of the lone wolf personality.
Being assertive is taken as rude, keeping your emotions to yourself earned you the label of cold and stiff, your observation makes you queer, standing up for yourself has made you arrogant, and your thirst for “Big Talk” makes you the idealist, but is that really what defines a Confident Introvert?
Humans being the social animals are related best to wolves, most prefer to be part of a pack but few wander alone the lone wolves. A lone wolf is generally an alpha wolf that has been pushed out of the pack by a younger one, and less commonly a young wolf that chooses to leave the pack in the quest for making another of his own one day.
Amongst us too, some prefer their privacy over popularity, small groups over the large gathering, and transparency over the growing drama making them compassionate, sincere, and as much of a human being as anyone of us. The confident individualist or the lone wolf is a personality type that few are born into and most grow into.
What Are the Characteristics Of A Lone Wolf Personality?
The lone wolf personality is developed from the choices, experiences, and actions of an individual. Although most of the traits of the personality overlap those of introverts as they are “Confident Introverts”, but the behavior is mostly intentional.
The following characteristics define the traits that a majority of the lone wolf personality individuals possess (Majority does not mean totality, there is always a minority and always exceptions).
Lone Wolves are mostly Introvert
The intentional introverts are more about spending time alone than with other people, especially at large gatherings. Going home to binge-watch a TV show on Netflix all by yourself is a much valued time than joining your colleagues to hit the bar for a few drinks.
This does not make you anti-social but rather independent for your happiness and being more in control of your will. Company has never been the defining factor for you, you are all you need for a good time.
“You Can’t Use Up Creativity”
It is not uncommon to find an individual with a lone wolf personality to be an amazing musician, inspiring artist, or a breathtaking photographer. Creativity runs through your veins and to give a voice to your emotions that cannot be spoken in plain words, you choose the composing of a sweet melody, the blank canvas, or an empty reel to pour your heart out.
A high percentage of great poets, writers, musicians, artists, dancers, and photographers are of the lone wolf personality type, embracing isolation allows you to see what is easily missed out in a crowd.
Lone wolves try to eliminating distractions
Social gatherings take a huge toll on the energy you save for your personal time. Spending an evening at an event that doesn’t attract you tires you to an extent that you fail to comply with your daily chores for the way that you want them to be.
The company easily distracts you from your layout for the day and once there is a hindrance in the flow of your affairs, getting them back on track becomes even harder. So you cut off the social ties of distraction to reserve your energy and lighten your day up.
Lone Wolves are mostly Insecure
Everyone has insecurities, but they just hit you differently. You might not be at a gathering of friends because you are struggling with something of your own, relying on anyone else is never an option so you choose to face the fight alone.
It is also of a common belief that you are not competent at what you do so you rather work alone than face negative feedback. Or might even just it is your weak communication and socializing skills that have rusted over a long time of isolation that keeps you from going out with someone.
They need Personal Space all the time
Personal space and privacy are a necessity for you, the emotional response from others or even appreciation can be overwhelming enough to make it hard to breathe. You need your own space for that deep sigh of relief and comfort.
Your creativity might take you to large platforms and big stages because of your talent, but pulling the curtains after the show is what balances everything out for you. Too much attention and being in the spotlight is never something you can live in for long.
Lone Wolves are mostly Shy
The shyness in your personality comes not from a lack of confidence or a fear of socializing but a weathered discomfort from encounters in the past, childhood traumas of being bullied or abused.
With the misconception flying around about a lone wolf being an imposed personality and not a result of circumstance, it has no truth to it as nobody chooses to be neglected in social affairs and bullied. It requires a never-ending timeline to overcome such issues and you are too used to fighting your battles alone, which links to your insecurities and shyness in nature.
Subtle Signs of a Lone Wolf Personality
Being different than the others has been your life long dilemma, you know that you just don’t resonate at the same frequency as others without having any idea of superiority to it. Rules never had the same binding influence on you but you’re not a rebel either, you give regard to your identity and make no compromises on it or your respect.
Here are some signs that hint you have a lone wolf personality and maybe will help you pinpoint the facts why you are so different.
They are Free-Spirited
While independence is valued and cherished by everyone, it holds a deep meaning for you. The slightest feeling of dependency on anything other than yourself upsets you and makes you question reality more than often. Whether it is the dependency on having to provide for yourself or being emotionally attached (Being vulnerable as you might call it) to someone, it is an intrusion of your territory and that’s when you can be the most unpredictable.
Your self-time is the best to dance to the tunes of your own heart and need no one else to set the beat, which is why you always make time for yourself so that you don’t get too detached from your feelings and emotions in the midst of chaos.
A Lone Wolf is a Quirky One
You never fail to sense how people observe something to be different about you, but that is most probably singularity, a singularity in attitude and character. You have many layers to your personality but that is only known to you, and maybe a handful few because you have amazing control over what surfaces, and that never lets you get out of character.
You may be the strange quiet person at a gathering that rarely talks or the chatterbox (Rarely) at the table but one that never lets emotions drive conversations, you are very private about what goes on in your head. Skipping the small talk to indulge in thought-provoking, ideological, and philosophical conversations are the only way to instantly have your interest aroused.
They like Keeping Distance
Emotions drive the day to day lives of the people around you as they share their own lives, grieve, and cherish them. It is not to say that you lack emotions, you do have them too and perhaps even much stronger than everyone around you but trusting anyone with them is never the route you “want” to go down on.
It is not something new for you to learn how people think you are detached, but only if they were to know your reasons. You probably care much more but do it from a distance that neither blows off your cover nor makes you vulnerable to an attachment. Friends or family closest to you might be the only ones to know what goes on with you but that’s it, you take the statement “The world is not a marketplace for emotions, so stop advertising yourself” to the letter in practice.
A Lone Wolf Prefers Quality Over Quantity
Having a friend that you can rely on means much more than being a part of large groups for senseless gossips. Your uniqueness and confidence make it the easiest for you to get involved in any discussion with people you either know or not, but for them to feel the warmth of your personality is something that only comes after the building of trust and time.
Your avoidance of large group gatherings is not a result of social anxiety or low self-esteem but is just something that you have grown out of. You have been behind your barriers in your personal territory for such a long time that the entire concept of socializing is very much foreign to you now.
They are Confident
The shedding of many habits has gained you the valuable trait of confidence in yourself. The willingness to fight your battles alone gives you strength, courage, confidence, and the ability to turn pain and heartache into your driving force.
You enjoy moving around from group to group with the least chance of repetition as to keep attachments as far at bay as possible. This allows you to enjoy a plethora of personality types that give you the confidence to be a perfect fit for any in the future. There are times that weakness engulfs you and has you scared but never to the extent to lose hope in yourself, you’ve come out of bad situations a better a person and look at every difficult time to be a transformation opportunity.
Lone Wolves have Trust-Issues
You have many trust issues that need dealing with, or at least according to people. For you, unwinding old heartaches and betrayals is a risk greater than reward, which is why you have a hard shell built around your heart.
Whatever the incident may have been in your life that made you stiff to instantaneous emotions, could have been that you have been manipulated over for your trust, traumas, or bullying in childhood, but it has taught you to trust with immense care. You may also continuously doubt the feelings of a loved one based on prior experiences but it is a rarity for those thoughts to have a voice.
They are Assertive
The quality that distinguishes and separates you from the crowds around you is your ability to stand up for yourself. Your fearlessness is a scary trait to those that try manipulating you, intrude your territory, or even those who try to bring changes to the way you are. It took a long and hard road to shape you into the person you are today and there is no easy way out of it.
Like a lone wolf is more intelligent and dangerous than the pack wolves, the last thing someone would want to do to you is to have you cornered. You don’t feel a moment of hesitation in intervening manipulation or allowing people to take advantage of you.
Helpful Tips For The Lone Wolves
Insight time’s over as we now turn over to the leaf of self-improvement but who’s to say that the Confident Individualists need recommendations from others?
Improving yourself to be a better person than you were yesterday is a theory that applies to everyone alike and lone wolves are no exception. Your confines of understanding are quite different than others but that does not exempt you from making yourself better, most lone wolves value respect above than anything else so improving can be a mere way getting more respect.
Better social skills have many benefits for you as well, you can fluently communicate your terms and reasons to keep your privacy without having to explain it or be blunt about it. Not caring about what people make of your actions is woven deep into your personality but it will distant you from even the people you care about, so here are a few things that wouldn’t hurt so much to give a shot at.
Explain Your Perspective, No Matter How Short You Want It to Be
Offering explanations to people and nurturing diplomacy are the two of the most distinct principles you know but just like your ability to turn your weaknesses and fears into strength, you can build a strong social command by applying these into your everyday interactions.
Blatantly rejecting an offer to social gatherings will eventually stop people to try to reach out to you and maybe that’s exactly what you want, but giving them a reason as to why you can’t attend or being lighthearted about it is going to earn you respect in return.
“A quantum of solace is the dire need of every individual”, you may be independent enough to need anyone to consolidate or appreciate you but others around you are not always like that. This can dramatically improve your relation with a loved one or someone you deeply care about.
When you don’t spend much time with people anyway, you can let them know how much you enjoyed their company when you do. Even the slightest words of appreciation from you will have much value to the ones around you, speak little but speak well.
The people you hang out with when you do will not have a revelation about what you are wanting at a specific time until you tell them. Be more involved by putting your wishes on the table as to where you want to go out to, what you want to have to eat, or even how you have to do a certain job.
Good communication will almost always end up in your needs being fulfilled and everyone going home happy. Communicate as much as you find yourself to be comfortable with lest you dominate and undermine the wishes of anyone else around you.
It is okay to not enjoy large gatherings and the company of people that you do not want to socialize with, but make efforts to make up to your friends who invited you. Having an individual approach of socializing tells the people you care about that the feeling is mutual.
Make plans with the people you care about in small groups of twos and threes; you will end up having fun and have more energy in meet-ups. You feel less need to be on either the sidelines or in the driving seat with the ones you love, which is why you can autopilot in the situations and be truly yourself without restraints.
Be On The Giving End
Giving in more to relationships to the people you care about is a virtue you are well acquainted with. Being a lone wolf, you enjoy helping people that you don’t know solely because you love doing so, so why not extend that trait to the other places in your life as well?
Having a healthy relationship with your colleagues or someone from the office will benefit your professional growth while being there for your neighbors will only have the same gift coming back to you in some way.
You were not always this way, building walls after walls to keep your emotions from getting out, or preferring a personal time over social gatherings. You used to be the life of the party and the one who communicated with many people than you could count, but it is always that one moment of dread lead by many that shapes you into the person you are today.
While there is nothing wrong with what you do or how you are, locking yourself out completely might even have your loved ones at a distance from you one day. From your experiences of the many personality types that you have molded into at one time or another, be sure to pick and savor the good things you learned from them. At the end note, it is totally okay to prefer solitude, quality over quantity, realism over drama, and bluntness over diplomacy, “A lion may be the king of the jungle but the wolf never performs in a circus!”