As your relationship progresses to a more comfortable place, getting to understand someone feels like a little but an important achievement. And the little bursts of galatentment when you realize that you have finally begun to understand someone is a milestone one consciously or subconsciously keeps a mental note of.
Months, or maybe years of intimacy, conversations, and arguments later you realize that things are finally falling in place, but do you still find yourself questioning whether or not that happened?
If you do, then life has undoubtedly made your ways meet a very mainstream Gemini.
All of what you feel at this point is very real, but once you know why your relationship has not reached the ‘understanding phase’ yet, things will make sense all over again.
Gemini people have a hard time understanding themselves, forming opinions, or sticking to one thing, place, or person. They see life and everything around them through all perspectives until they know what fits the best for them. They need time and they take it, irrespective of what you think about it. But they might as well go an extra mile to please you in other ways because hell, that is important to them.
Where else will they get the attention, if not from the people they have pleased?
And you know what is important for you? Reading on.
They are indecisive
It is easier to make choices when you have lesser things to pick from. The more options you have, the harder it gets for you to make the right decision. That is human psychology!
And that is where your beloved Gemini is stuck.
They look through too many possibilities, perspectives, or ideas before making up their minds. And as good as this quality can prove to be, it leaves your life in chaos.
Seeking professional help for indecision can help them cope and make more efficient and more beneficial decisions in life.
Who am I?
All of us wonder about this question once in a while.
And thinking about it once in a while is all good and normal, but if this question starts affecting your decisions in daily life and begins making you feel like you need to start over, then that is certainly not something healthy happening there.
Wonder where all of this is happening? A Gemini brain.
Although this problem too roots back to indecisiveness, it is one of the factors why the Gemini are never sure (about anything).
Malleability sounds like a good trait. But only for metals.
This could prove to be something worth appreciating in humans, but seeing someone change their opinions and views does not make you want to trust them? Does it?
However, for someone who sees this world from a kaleidoscopic view, it is extremely hard to stick to one opinion. Your Gemini lover is not doing it on purpose.
That is just how he or she is.
Geminis want to please ‘em all
The idea of pleasing people looks extremely virtuous and kind from a distance, but if that turns into a habit and your self-esteem gets reliant on it, it may lead to existential dread.
It is impossible to please all the people at the same time if you are a genuine person. And that is what Geminis seem to lack: genuineness.
They take the shape of whatever container the crowd puts them in.
This habit can be extremely injurious to their sense of self and the answer to this problem, then again, lies in seeking therapy.
They like attention
You might think, so what harm will that do to you? Well sadly or not, this is one of the factors that affect the decisions of a Gemini.
If they are stuck in a job where they do not feel like they are getting enough attention or appreciation, their next thought would be to leave it.
Any place, situation, or relationship that doesn’t serve as a consistent reminder of how appreciated their presence is, is not the place that they would like to stay at for a longer period.
For them, implementation is a far fetched idea
Geminis love planning things. One day you will see them planning an adventure, the next you will hear they are planning to settle in a land far, far away.
You will hear them planning to start a business and looking for interesting ways to earn, but DO NOT trust them until you see them doing all of those things.
While you listen to their ideas, just nod as they talk and wait to see if they have any plans of doing things.
Boy that requires a lot of patience. But this way, you can prevent yourself from expecting too much out of them. And you know what that brings? Less hurt.
Geminis are inherently social people. They like talking to people because they look at it as an experience to explore lives.
So when you hear ‘you are known by the friends you keep ’, you do not know what to ‘know’ about the Gemini you are so interested in.
Because they have friends of all kinds. People with different thoughts. People with different lives. People from different parts of the world. People with different personalities. You name it and the kind is there in your beloved’s social circle.
Geminis are always looking for MORE
If you are the kind of person who is looking for a stable life, you are not with the right person. Geminis are never content with where they are and what they have.
They are always looking for something more. To discover. To learn. To have. To enjoy.
To please this need in them, they keep changing their plans, cities, or even countries.
They like change and they would never like to opt for anything otherwise.
With such instability in their lives and the constant diversion of turbulence to yours, there is quite a possibility you are having a hard time understanding them.
And that is okay.
No day is an ‘off day’ for them
Even on weekends and vacations, when they are not working, they find for themselves something to stay busy with. Geminis are very busy people. Not necessarily with work.
But this probably does leave you both very little time to have a real talk.
Maybe they do give you time but the time is not enough for the both of you to have long talks. And maybe that is why you are having a hard time understanding the relationship dynamic.
If that is the case, you should communicate this issue with them.
If they care, they will make a conscious effort to make you feel important and heard.
They don’t like control (but they like it the other way round)
They might not want to admit it, but they feel comfortable when THEY have control over everything. This makes them look a bit self-centered and honestly, they are.
But that does not seem very problematic until they have to obey someone.
They are generally not toxic, but when they see control getting off their hands, they begin passing small gestures showing their discomfort in the situation.
They are torn between being nice and being offended at something so petty. And that might leave you perplexed.
However, if this need to control everything is properly addressed and consciously controlled, it becomes pretty tangible.
Their emotional spectrum is hard to get a hold of
Their emotions can vary from being so elaborate to being so cold.
They change with the situation. Well, so does everyone but what is specific about Geminis is that you can witness their emotions swinging between the two extremes.
And you won’t know what to take to heart and what to let go of. By practicing balance and mindfulness, it can be easier for Geminis to get a hold of their emotional extremes.
Consistency is not their piece of cake
Geminis tend to get bored too easily with anything and everything. You will see them enjoying a job and liking a newfound hobby and the next thing you know, they are tired of it.
This habit can sadly put a shade on their relationships too.
That is why you see them coping with it by making a lot of friends from different walks of life.
And it is because of this habit, they usually end up settling pretty late in life, and that too with someone who can deal with their need to always have something new in life.
Ask yourself this question. Do you think you are okay with your spouse or partner always looking for something new?
Their niceness could be manipulative
Now the Geminis themselves won’t agree with this but they know how to get their way through things. One of their tricks is manipulation.
Don’t get me wrong. They are not evil people, they just know how to make use of people on the simplest of occasions.
Like they could manipulate you into doing the laundry for the next whole month and you won’t even know that you have been manipulated!
This is one of the reasons why they are hard to understand. It is hard to differentiate between what they say to manipulate you and what it is that they mean.
They are always thinking of “What comes next”
Geminis find it hard to focus on the present moment. You will hardly see them noticing the little things like the color of the sky.
Where is their mind, then? It is in what is to come next. They are thinking about their next plan, their next venture, or even their next job, while they are not even done with the first ones yet.
Many a time, you might have found yourself confused about whether or not your Gemini partner wanted the trip you both are on. Just because they are so hung up on the future.
Well, the truth is, they were looking forward to the trip. It is just that, now they are looking forward to what is next.
Their words are different from their actions
‘The consequences of their actions and words ’ is just an afterthought for them.
Geminis, by nature, are very impulsive people. The bad thing about impulsivity is that it does not give you enough time to think about how a specific action will affect a specific person or situation.
They are generally found to be ignorant of how someone would feel after they do or say something.
This might make you think that they don’t care, but the truth is that they do. They just need to show it the right way!
They overthink everything
For a brain that thinks so much and so differently, it is very easy to get into a self-destructive cycle of thoughts.
Overthinking is one of the major causes of depression and anxiety.
So if you notice your partner has been acting distant or different for a while, maybe it does not have a lot to do with their zodiac sign but with their bad mental health.
In case you think it is true, reach out to your partner, they need your help. (And professional help too).
So what can be done now?
None of the traits of Gemini are intangible until they are too arrogant or afraid to accept and deal with it. If you are still reading the article, there is a good chance you are really into the Gemini you are reading about right now. That is why now is the time that you sit back and seriously contemplate where this relationship is going.
- Ask yourself, do you want to be with that person?
- Now take all those traits that the article talks about. Does that affect your answer to the first question?
- Whatever conclusion you come up with, communicate it with that person.
- Be polite and try not to be sarcastic or aggressive.
- Tell them about the things that are hurting you or affecting you in any way.
- Ask them about the things about you that they think can be worked on. Be open to criticism.
- Address your issues.
- Seek therapy. Asking for professional help has been wrongly stigmatized in our world. And the only way we can effectively destigmatize it is by seeking help ourselves. Even for the problems that seem so trivial.
- Consider letting go, if all of this feels too emotionally taxing.
- Lastly, there is no fixed timeline for all of this to happen. Take your time. And remember, issues like these are immensely important to be addressed in a relationship.
Understanding someone does not involve knowing everything about them. Expecting to know everything about the other person’s life is too much to ask for. At least, in adult life, it is.
Know that the other person has built themselves over time and there is no fixed time in which you are supposed to know someone for real.
Give time, hard work, and space. But when your gut and your best friend say that it is time to leave, know that it is.