Man is a social animal and it is a fact that he has to continue socialization even after some interruption or trauma. But have you ever experienced a phase in your life where you find yourself in no position to interact with people? It is just like ‘facing a different direction’ in your mind and that’s exactly we can define a socially inept personality.
Who Is A Socially Awkward Person?
Being in an awkward situation or feeling deviated from small social expectations like to be productive or smiling all the time, to be the best version of a human being, or to have a great good social circle are all the awkward moments according to Dr. ty Tashiro, Ph.D.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5, defines social anxiety disorder as a fear of acting in a certain way that might put them on the forefront of judgement.
This fear causes anxiety that interferes with their normal routine as well as their relationships.
Every one of us has experienced this awkwardness at least once or a couple of times in our life.
No one is always sure about how to act in a social situation due to the fact that all of us are very different from each other, possessing our own rhythms.
Has it ever happened to you that your mind gets fully confused while sitting in a group of people who are somehow new to you?
Has nervousness overcame your activeness?
In this situation, all you want is an escapade, right? It is an obvious sign that you have a socially inept personality.
When you fail to do the things as smoothly as others can do and get anxious at the thought of being judged or teased; understand the fact that you are a socially inept individual and there is nothing wrong with it.
Approximately 1% of the total population has this type of personality.
If you think, you are socially awkward or have a very reserved personality, then you should look into this book.
Socially awkward individuals are surely the ones who are unable to expand their known community or social life. They have a lot in common with the reserved personality and sometimes even with a lone wolf personality as well.
If you are facing the following symptoms, then you are expected to acquire certain cited traits.
- Not Noticing Basic Social Expectations:
You become the person who is unable to observe personalized social norms or what people and society expect.
Being in confusion themselves, such people can’t understand what people expect which a normal person generally knows and act according to them.
- Socially Inhibited:
Due to the avoidance and social anxiety stirring up in your mind, you avoid huge gatherings.
You minimize your social circle. In short, a person having this disorder becomes socially inhibited because the presence of a lot of people hinders their mind.
- Bad Intuitive:
Intuition powers go down and down for such people and their analyzing power of what are going to happen to get worse gradually.
Their anxious thoughts dominate intuitive thoughts and as a result, they carry with themselves a sense of dread and nervousness.
- Difficulty in understanding routine social-situations:
There is an instinctive urge in people with social anxiety to avoid several social situations such as gathering for parties, group conversations, crowded rooms or public speaking.
As a result, they are inadequate to comprehend general social situations.
- Unwilling to meet people:
Due to the fear of being judged or shy, people become introverted and they are never ready to meet people again and again.
They cannot stand meetings with known people for long due to their social anxiousness let alone new people.
How can one know that he/she is a socially inept personality?
There are some obvious signs which directly point to this type of persona.
If you feel that the following signs are relatable to you, then you have a socially inept personality.
- Feeling Cringe in a number of people
It is obvious to have an awkward personality when you always feel a little disturbed and cringe while having a meetup with peoples.
Your mind feels stuck in the thought of what people are thinking about you.
- You try your level best to avoid interactions
What do you do when someone invites you to a party?
If your first priority is to refuse them by giving lame excuses just to avoid the interactions with people then you are surely a socially inept personality.
- You avoid Eye Contact
People who are bad at doing eye-contact with the person who is talking are the ones who are depressed, very conscious, and nervous about their personality.
They lack self-confidence which forces them to do so. Afraid of being seen and judged, they attempt to hide in their own shell.
That’s why they can’t look into the eyes of others.
- You have no idea how to respond to Compliments
I have seen a lot of people who aren’t welcoming to compliments in any way.
If people are not acceptable if you are commending, maybe they aren’t selfish; they are actually not self-aware.
These behaviors signify an underlying problem.
- You always prefer to be alone.
One of the signs of being a socially inept personality is that your mind is more relaxed in unpopulated places.
Being an introvert, you communicate less, and being alone is more preferable for peace of your mind.
Being alone beyond limits is a sure sign while giving you some time alone is completely healthy.
- You get nervous in gatherings
If you have set up your own and somewhat different rules for gathering which allow meetups once in a blue moon and you get terribly confused in a group of people that you behave numbly and get anxiety instantly then you are the one going through this disorder.
- You hate attention
Let suppose you are in an award-giving ceremony and called on a stage. What will be your reaction to such kinds of attention?
If you are befuddled in such situations, you can have a hint that attention makes you feel agony and you are clearly not normal. Generally, people are happy when given attention.
- You are pre-occupied with a negative perception
When there’s a little exposure of yours to the outside world and most importantly positive people then negativity overcomes you.
In any circumstance, you are forced to think of the worst-case scenario and you are bound to be preoccupied with negative thoughts only. This is one of many signs of this case.
- You have somewhat poor self-esteem
Poor self-esteem isn’t necessary but it happens in most of such cases that a person is severely lacking confidence while facing people.
If you are one of them, at some point you are unable to justify tour stance during arguments which happen infrequently because such people have a lack of courage and are easily frightened due to low self-esteem.
- You have fear of rejection
It is quite normal that you are not accepted by everyone because not everyone has the same taste and we all are free in our choices.
A person who is has more extraordinary fear of being rejected at any point either on an interview or becoming the first choice for someone special.
If you are thinking day and night, and after the event passed then you must have to count yourself in the number of people who are more sensitive and a bit confused personalities.
- You are tongue-tied
When someone is unable to express him/her clearly and fluently with a loss of words then we call this person as a tongue-tied one and this sign shows that you are a nervous and fearful personality who is afraid of and unaware of the freedom of speech.
Always anticipating about being judged by your words is a clear sign of a socially awkward personality.
- You lack social grace
Not knowing about how to behave in a society or acting totally opposite of what is acceptable in the community is said to be the lack of social grace and charm.
If someone tells you that you have behaved manner less and show nil etiquette in the last party then it is a clue for you that you must have to change your behavior towards people.
Now-a-days it has become so unique to be polite socially or warm-welcoming new people in a group that everybody starts noticing it but you have to focus on yourself and consider this attitude of yours as a toxic as it is an understandable indication of a graceless person.
- You are afraid to speak up your thoughts
Hard time speaking in crowds either like amongst other friends or during big presentation sort of case and feels all nervous and jittery and sweaty in the body exhibit that you are afraid of speaking.
Feels like completely falls apart and don’t know what to do in a situation like this are the signs of a personality who is scared of getting noticed and or observed by peoples.
If you are worried about what other people think of you and then you get even more nervous and the whole thing is there becomes a cycle of sick sad dysfunction makes you a noticeable person in a sense of being negatively judged.
- You have a sensitive temperament
Every time someone yells or laughs too loud, highly sensitive people are ready to jump right out of their skin and wish to run away from that place at any cost.
A person with a sensitive or low temperament is surely misfit to the society.
You feel tense at work, tense at home, and even tense when you’re spending time with your family, but why are you so stressed out all the time?
Chances are, you’re a highly sensitive person and your emotional brain is constantly worrying about what everyone else is doing.
Your brain just can’t relax which makes everything in your life feel stressful.
- You get anxious easily
The biggest sign of having an anxious personality is the ingrained hatred of oneself and being so over critical of you. This is one of the common traits with the Type C personality.
Feel paralyzed to the point that you just want to hide yourself and can’t bear people around you due to the fact that you are afraid of criticism and a fear of being a fun/joke (if someone criticizes you or pass a comment) for people is always resident in your mind.
Is it Immoral to have this personality?
To be a socially inept personality is not a bad thing in itself, but the point to be noticed and a problematic one is that it can lead to some distress and extreme sorrowful situations.
“Sometimes the same traits that make people socially awkward are the same psychological characteristics that can power them towards extraordinary achievements and that’s awesome”.
Awkward moments actually serve a nice function to keep us in line with everybody else and keep us getting along.
Now there’s a difference between having an awkward moment every now and then and being an awkward person.
We know that if we are unique that that’s the social value but we also know that if we step too far outside of the social bounds we might become so much of an outsider that we risk being ostracized.
Is this disorder an inherited one?
Social anxiety disorder also known as social phobia is hereditable in other words social anxiety disorder runs in families.
Both genetic and environmental influences are involved that tend to run this disorder in families.
A study shows that social anxiety disorder has both genetic and environmental contributions and younger patients have more of a genetic contribution than older patients.
Heredity VS environmental influences:
If you develop this disorder as a child this is more due to heredity or genetics but if you develop this as an adult, this is less about heredity and more about environmental influences.
Individuals with generalized anxiety disorder have anxiety but it is not limited to being evaluated in a social setting. The anxiety is typically broader and involves non-social issues such as finances or physical security.
Agoraphobia is an example where people avoid public places, for fear of being trapped and not being able to escape, just in case something embarrassing happens or they begin to panic. But in agoraphobia, the fear is less about being judged and more about being trapped in a crowd and not being able to escape.
HOW TO HANDLE THIS DISORDER?
There are lots of things you can do to build your confidence, become more charismatic, and get rid of that social awkwardness for good.
Embrace your strengths: Everybody’s good at something and you’re no exception. If you don’t talk about your accomplishments, no one will ever know about them and this is not a fair thing to do with you. Try to analyze your strengths and make them a weapon to get confidence by working on it.
Spotlight effect: If you’re socially awkward you might think people are paying more attention to you than they actually are. You might feel like you’re constantly under a spotlight but the truth is you are just over-analyzing yourself and assume that everyone else is doing the same.
Social-Tag Teaming: Even if you feel more comfortable being social it’s hard to meet new people to practice with but once you’ve talked to enough people you’ll realize they aren’t nearly as scary as they seem.
Fight the fear: Try to make connections with the friends of your friends and get yourself in a difficult situation keeping in mind that you are doing this just to fight with your fear.
Make connections: Look for ways to specifically connect with other people besides your friends. For example, if someone shares one of your interests, go ahead and tell them that you’re passionate about the same.
Don’t be afraid: One of the best ways to neutralize an awkward moment is to laugh at you. Don’t try to play off your mistake like it didn’t happen. You shouldn’t be afraid to be a little self-deprecating. You want to show people that you don’t mind messing up and that you’re okay with doing something dumb.
Don’t advertise your shyness: By advertising your shyness, you’re only trapping yourself in this label. So try to keep it casual you can tell them you don’t see yourself that way or just brush it off.
Stay in the moment: If you’re out with a group of friends and you’ve said something incorrectly or you think you sounded foolish it gets that critical inner voice going and you get so caught up in your self-demeaning thoughts that you totally disengage with what’s happening at the present time. So put your focus on what’s actually happening.
What is the treatment mostly?
Treatment usually involves psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
If it’s psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy is recommended, since it teaches a person new ways of thinking and behaviors to help in being around others.
Antidepressants are the most common choice of medication, specifically selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs, serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, or SNRIs, as well as benzodiazepines, and beta-blockers. (We are not in any way encouraging you to use any sort of medication. Consult a doctor before using any).
SSRI’s help regulate serotonin levels in the brain, while SNRIs help regulates serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine, to manage anxiety.
Benzodiazepines are psychoactive drugs that have a relaxing effect.
Beta-blockers can help alleviate the performance of physical symptoms that are shown during this disorder.
Though medication can be effective in the short term, cognitive behavioral therapy has more advantages in the long term, due to the potential of unwanted side effects. The best thing is mostly to avoid any medication.
Best Advice you can get:
Don’t be scared to make connections and be yourself.
Just live your life like no one’s watching because most of the time no one is.😊