Even the most loving, trusting relationships are sometimes plagued by intervals of doubt. If you’ve found yourself worrying that your girlfriend is carrying feelings for someone else, it’s very important to make sure that your suspicions are justified before you act on them.
Over the course of a relationship, it’s perfectly natural for one of the people to form an attraction outside of the two of you. There is, however, a solid line between an innocent crush versus cheating.
If your partner may be attracted to someone else, paying attention to the signs and having open conversations can help.
Note: If your girl has suddenly started to talk about someone else a lot, seems to be distant (both physically and mentally, her routine has changed abnormally, she’s paying attention to other people and their relationships a lot, she is unwilling to acknowledge your relationship, and any other signs that seem rather unusual for her; then there may be a chance that she is into someone else.
She talks about someone else a lot!
If your partner is attracted to someone else, they might start to talk about them a lot.
This can assure you that they haven’t acted upon their urges yet, but a possible attraction might be blooming in their hearts.
Hearing them talk glowingly about this person may be frustrating, but it could be a good indicator that they have less to hide.
If it begins to bother you, sit down and talk out your concerns.
She seems a bit emotionally unattached or is ignoring you
The thought of getting the cold shoulder from the girl you love is enough to make any boyfriend shiver.
If you’re suspicious of your girlfriend’s true intentions, pay attention to the way she treats you when you hang out or are spending the time by yourselves — does she seem indifferent or disinterested in what you have to say?
Do your opinions seem insignificant to her or does she ignore them entirely?
Does it feel like your presence is making no difference at all in the way she behaves?
Is she completely inactive via social media or phone?
If you’re beginning to feel like you’re invisible around your own girlfriend, your relationship has problems.
Her routine has changed abnormally
An abnormal change in routine may indicate that your partner’s got some internal conflict going on. If you’ve noticed new habits in your partner, alongside other signs, it may be an indicator of a crush.
When you’ve been dating someone for a while, their routine and daily habits should become fairly well-known to you simply through spending time with them.
Seeing a sudden shift in the way your girlfriend spends her time should automatically feel strange and cause you concern, but if you see it along with some of the other warning signs in this article, you may have reason to be alarmed.
This is especially true if your girlfriend’s new routine has her doing things she actively avoided doing with you.
People are generally more willing to participate in social activities they don’t care for at the beginning of a new relationship when doing so may please their new partner.
She’s Giving You Less Romantic Attention
One of the most obvious, fundamental signs that something is wrong in a relationship is if one partner becomes uncomfortable being physically close to another.
Whether it’s holding hands, cuddling, making out, or having sex, being physically intimate requires a great deal of trust from both partners.
If one partner knows that the trust has been betrayed from, physical intimacy can suddenly start to seem quite awkward and unnatural, even when it was easy before. Also if your partner is attracted to another person, she will not feel the same urge to enjoy skinship with you and might be desiring for another person to be on the receiving side.
She’s bothered by a friend’s relationship
If your partner isn’t attracted by anyone beside you, they won’t care about anyone else’s relationship as long as your own is progressing smoothly.
However, if they are attracted to someone else, you’ll find them fussing over someone else’s affairs.
While it’s pretty common to have opinions on your friends’ partners, there is a line between interest and fixation. If your partner is paying particular attention to a friend’s relationship, that may be a sign.
If your partner seems very jealous and bothered by the romantic relationships a friend or acquaintance is in, they may be attracted to that person.
In the modern age, our cell phones and personal electronic devices have become the way in which we keep in touch with our significant other.
However, if your girlfriend has been fooling around with someone else, there’s a good chance that her phone was also used to stay up-to-speed with him.
Pay attention to the way your girlfriend handles her phone — does she keep it close to herself when she’s texting? Has she recently added a password?
Does she refuse to let you use it?
Does she seem reluctant to let it out of her sight?
If so, she may have something to hide.
She’s sharing with you less
If your partner has stopped sharing their everyday thoughts and feelings with you, that’s likely a sign that something in the relationship needs to be addressed.
One potential cause of this issue is outside attraction — even if it hasn’t been acted on. Your girlfriend may act detached and you notice that she is being quieter that she normally is.
No one wants to discuss the fact that they are attracted to someone else while already being in a relationship.
She might not be speaking to you because she still cares about you and is taking precautions against an accidental slip or she wants to keep her affair a secret, just because she can.
Her schedule becomes suddenly busy
Girlfriends and boyfriends with busy, active lives will occasionally have trouble making time for each other in their schedules. This is perfectly natural and an issue most couples deal with.
However, if your girlfriend suddenly becomes too busy to hang out with you for long periods of time and her explanation doesn’t seem reasonable enough, this can mean that she’s spending her free time with someone else.
If your girlfriend has recently had trouble finding the time to hang out with you and her explanations don’t seem to hold water, you definitely have reason to be concerned.
She starts to dress up differently
For both sexes, a sudden, drastic change in the way someone dresses can be a sign that some other aspect of their life has been altered.
For instance, it can be a sign that someone has recently become single, has recently lost someone and is grieving, or has recently gotten a new job.
However, within the boundaries of a committed relationship, if someone adopts a drastically different “look” without warning and has no explanation or just unconvincing excuses, it can be a sign that she is trying to change herself according to someone else’s likes or dislikes and thus is trying to impress a third party.
She shows an unwillingness to acknowledge the relationship
If one partner in a relationship knows that she’s betrayed her boyfriend’s trust, it can become irritable for her to even bring up her relationship in a casual conversation.
Talking about her relationship may cause feelings of guilt to the surface, by bringing up thoughts of her betrayal and causing her frustration by reminding her that she isn’t out of her current relationship yet and is a hindrance towards her blossoming attraction towards another party.
Try asking your girlfriend a few questions to get an idea of how comfortable and open she is talking about your relationship.
If she seems detached, cagey, annoyed, embarrassed, or reluctant to answer your questions and uncharacteristically tries to avoid every possible moment you try to communicate, it’s a clear sign that something’s wrong.
One More Sign:
She suddenly becomes a work – or hobby-holic
If she begins to find reasons to stay away from home more often, it is bound to trigger your concerns.
While you can’t put her down from building her career or enjoying her hobbies, if she isn’t approachable during the time she spends outside or shows signs of vagueness and secrecy, she might be fibbing with her whereabouts and spending time with someone else she doesn’t want you to know about, considering she is attracted to him.
Infidelity in a relationship is intolerable.
You should first be highly observant about the strange signs that hint towards your girlfriend’s possible attraction outside the relationship before taking any serious action.
You could be wrong and your rash behavior can only deteriorate the situation and make you lose a relation you deeply care about.
If your concerns are just rising, take time to talk to your girlfriend. Sit down with a bunch of free time and start a calm conversation.
Put your concerns out front in a way that seems open for discussion. If your tone is accusing or degrading, all your effort to make things right will go fruitless.
Compel your girlfriend to share the truth and be open about whatever is on her mind.
If she agrees on a possible attraction from outside and it is developing into a bigger deal by crossing the bounds of just a “crush”, it is best if you end the relationship on firm ground rather than during an emotional outbreak.
It will save you from possible hurt and running after a relationship that has sown no seeds for the future.