Why you Hate your Sister? (& What To Do About It?)

Why you Hate your Sister? (& What To Do About It?): If you happen to have a sister, there is a chance you guys have butted heads over a dress, or a charger, or simply over shared food. These are the people we love but can’t stand, it’s a complex relationship, and often times these little conflicts can lead to long-standing rivalries. We all know one such person who wants nothing to do with their siblings.

Sibling rivalry is a very common and a very real thing. They broke your heart and you have nothing to say to them. You share some secrets that got out in a form of gossip. (Never share these secrets, btw)… the list goes on…

The first incident of sibling rivalry is thought to be between the sons of Adam and Eve.

Cain murdered his brother Abel out of jealousy.

The root cause was presumed to be unequal treatment, God was pleased when Abel presented a lamb to

Him, but wasn’t happy with Cain, as he only gave leftover harvest and thought selfishly about getting rewarded.

“Siblings are our partners and rivals, our first friends, and our first enemies.” – Erica Goldblatt Hyatt

And when we talk about sibling rivalries, there is no better rivalry, than between two sisters.

Are girls more prone to getting jealous? Is it difficult for girls to forgive and forget? You will find the answers to these questions as you read on.

Side Note: If your sibling is married, you may wanna check out these things married women hate to listen to.

The Bouvier Sisters

Throughout history, we can see numerous cases of sibling rivalry and its effect on the lives of those who were involved.

The Bouvier Sisters

Let’s take the example of infamous Jackie, Wife of the 35th president of the USA Jhon.F Kennedy and her sister Lee Bouvier.

Both their parents always considered Jackie as the favorite daughter and never hesitated to mention it.

This unfair treatment became the root of the rivalry between them.

The sisters were brought up with the mindset that getting rich and powerful was the main goal in life.

Therefore, both girls set out for the acquisition of wealth and power, trying to outshine the other. Eventually, Jackie got married to John F. Kennedy.

Lee couldn’t bear the thought of her sister becoming the first lady.

She tried everything to outdo her sister and finally caught the attention of the Polish prince Stanislaw Albrecht Radziwill, becoming a princess in the process.

Eventually, Jackie separated from Kennedy and started dating Onassis, a Greek shipping tycoon.

When Lee found out, she started considering ending her marriage and trying her luck with Onassis too.

But Jackie beat her to it and got married before Lee could do anything about it.

This particular example perfectly describes the role of parents and what part they play in causing these sibling rivalries.

Parents, ever since our childhoods are the first human beings we come to know and love, subsequently their affection and appreciation is a reward, we all strive to achieve from early childhood.

Reasons for hating your Sister

Disagreements and arguments are a common occurrence between sisters.

Why do you hate your sister?

They can start off as early as 2 years.

The question is, what causes these differences to get prolonged and last for a lifetime? Let’s have a look.

Role of Parents

As mentioned earlier, parents sometimes end up making their kids feel competitive towards each other. How does this happen?

We will take a very common example.

If your parents trust your sibling with a secret, you will automatically start thinking:

  • Why was the secret told to her and not me?
  • Do the parents like her more than me?
  • Do the parents think she can keep it better than me?
  • Do the parents think that I’m not responsible enough to keep the secret?

Subconsciously, these questions start developing in your mind, igniting a flame of negativity.

Maybe you don’t realize it at that moment, but whenever something similar happens, it acts as a fuel to the fire.

With time, that tiny flame turns into a full-blown fire, and that’s when the feeling becomes permanent.


A basic example of this is wearing a cast of clothes.

Sister Precedence

In most families, the younger sister is given the clothes of the older sister to wear.

On the other hand, the older sister gets all the new things.

You get the used stuff, making you feel unloved and unimportant.

This makes you envious of your elder sister, for you think that she is loved more than you.


Jealousy or “The green-eyed monster” is something that entangles girls more than boys.

Jealousy in sisters

This owes to the more possessive nature of girls as compared to boys.

If you feel a sense of jealousy toward your sibling, it’s normal but what’s not normal is to let jealousy take over your mind and make you do things that you would not do normally.

The root cause of jealousy is when we see the other person having something that we lack.

When it comes to sisters, they can feel jealous of each other if:

  • One looks better
  • Is favored by the parents
  • Is lucky in love
  • Has a better job
  • Has a better social life
  • Excels in school

In short, when you feel that your sister is better than you at everything, The feeling of competition overcomes the feeling of happiness for her accomplishments, you start detesting her and the green-eyed monster makes this feeling stronger. The more she excels, the deeper is your hate. This hate then goes a long way in life.


Sometimes when you and your sister have too many conflicts, parents might separate you from each other.

Isolation in sisters

They may either change your rooms or send you to boarding schools.

This is usually done to reduce the number of fights between you both but often times it does more damage than good.

Isolating you two will make you grow up without experiencing love, respect, and care for each other.

You will get used to carrying out activities without each other.

Thus, the absence of your sister won’t matter to you and you will get emotionally distant while still carrying the resentments.

Difference of POV

The difference of opinion is also a reason for hating your sister.

Difference of POV in Sisters

As kids, arguing with your sister is a very common thing.

Most kids do it on a daily basis, even more, if they are around each other more often.

They fight, shout, call each other names and then forget and get on with it, or do they?

The fact that your sister doesn’t agree with you, can sometimes remain etched in your subconscious mind.

As you get older, whenever there is a disagreement, memories from the past take over.

You start thinking that your sister has always disagreed with you, even as a kid.

Eventually, a difference of opinion becomes a major hurdle between communication, and drifting apart seems like the most obvious conclusion.


From snitching on you while you skip school to go on a date to breaking something important to you or perhaps in some cases, not being around when you need them most, the cause for feeling betrayed by your sibling can be pretty diverse.

Sister Betrayal

Once again, we stick to an infamous historical example.

The Boleyn Sisters and their bizarre rivalry has been marked in English history.

Mary and Anne Boleyn were both love interests and mistresses of King Harry the fifth.

Due to this, their family enjoyed the favors of the king.

Eventually, the rewards of courtship with the king drew the sisters apart and into a passionate rivalry.


Sisters Nature

Although the reasons mentioned above are more than enough to make you hate your sister, one thing that usually gets sidelined is the nature of the person.

Nature is inbuilt and varies from person to person.

Every person on earth has a unique nature which makes them different from others.

Sometimes, nature is such that a person cannot help being a nuisance.

This may affect their relationship with their siblings.

An annoying sister, who is a tattle-tale, automatically gets on the hate list.

She doesn’t have to do anything.

Just being herself is enough to make you hate her.

The annoying sister will always be there to make things worse for you.

If you do something wrong, she will be the first one to snitch on you.

If she gets to know your secret, she will try her best to let everyone know of it.

She thinks it’s funny but she doesn’t realize that she is creating hatred, that might last longer than she thinks.

“Love is close to hate when it comes to sisters. You’re as close as two humans can be. You came from the same womb. The same background. Even if you’re poles apart, mentally. That’s why it hurts so much when your sister is unkind. It’s as though part of you is turning against yourself.” – Jane Corry

The reasons to hate your sister are many.

These reasons are present between almost all siblings.

It depends on how seriously they are taken, to have a long-lasting and negative effect on the relationship between the two.

How to Stop Hating Your Sister?

Life becomes a lot easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got. – Robert Brault

How to stop hating your sister?

It is normal to feel hatred towards your sister. If you feel that this feeling isn’t going away, rather it’s getting stronger with each passing day, then it’s time to do something about it.

The reason you’re here, reading this article is that you want to end this hatred you have towards her.

We have made a list of tips that can help you to overcome the hate and connect with your sister.

Parents are usually responsible for the hate and envy between siblings.

When parents sense that you and your sister are not connected to each other, it should ring a bell.

They should make efforts to help both of you in improving your relationship and creating harmony between you two.

You should go down memory lane and find out the root cause of feeling this way towards your sister.

Maybe something happened in the past which offended you as a child and you hung on to that feeling till adulthood.

Find the cause and talk it out with your sister.

As adults, it’s easy to have a conversation to sort out the differences.

Forgive and forget.

If your sister did something wrong with you, like betrayed you, act like the bigger person and forgive her. You should understand that to hurt is human.

She made a mistake but forgiving her is in your hands.

You cannot spend your whole life hating her.

It can have a negative effect on your mental and physical health. So, let go and patch up.

If you and your sister have grown up and have families of your own, it’s time to get counseling to make things better.

Find a therapist, who can talk to both of you, hear your concerns, and help you determine the cause of the differences between you and your sister.

They can help you overcome the feeling of jealousy or hatred and start anew.

Maybe your sister has grown up to be a better person than she was as a child. In that case, you can talk to her and change the way you feel about her.

Maybe you two can even become best friends.

You can erase the haunting memories of the past and make more cherished memories with her now.

Put yourself in your sister’s shoes.

Try to see things from her point of view.

Maybe what she did to make you hate her, was done unintentionally or due to other surrounding factors.

For example, if you hate her because she threw away your favorite doll and you never forgave her for that.

Ask her why she did that?

Maybe she was having a bad day or maybe your parents said something and she reacted.

Once you find out that it was unintentional and not really meant to hurt you, it will be easier for you to forget it and move on.

Think of the good times you had with your sister when you were kids before you started hating her.

Look at old photographs.

It will warm your heart and the good memories will rekindle the love you once had for your sister.

Talk, Just simply talk to your sister.

No matter how much you hate her.

No matter how much she hurt you.

If you talk to her, you will probably find out what she thinks.

Maybe she regrets treating you badly or doing what she did, which made you hate her.

Communication is the key. Talk to her. Break the ice.

Once you do it, you will find that maybe you just made a mountain out of a molehill.

Meditation also helps you to think clearly with a sound mind. It helps you relax.

Once you’re cool and calm, you start thinking straight.

The anger is replaced by positive thoughts.

It can help you overcome the feeling of hatred you have for your sister.

Accepting your emotions helps you to understand that they are fleeting.

It means that this feeling will pass eventually.

Say it out loud that you accept that you hate your sister.

Then try to suggest something to yourself, as you would to a friend going through a similar situation. Such as “You did the best you could!” and “Don’t blame yourself!” Treat yourself with compassion and you will feel soothed. You might even start feeling differently about your sister.

A sister is someone, who loves you from the heart. No matter how much you argue, you cannot be drawn apart.

Of course, it’s possible that your sister doesn’t want to cover the gap.

Maybe she feels the same way for you and won’t cooperate with you in putting aside the differences or maybe the differences are too many to cope.

What can you do in this case?

Don’t cut ties, instead, keep the conversations short and avoid talking about anything that might lead to an argument.

That being said, you should remember that at the end of the day, she is your sister.

You have spent your childhood together, sharing happy moments, and making memories.

The relationship with your sister is more likely to be one of the longest and strongest relationships there ever is.

You don’t get to choose your sister, but while friends may come and go, a sister is for life.

She is the one who teaches you about fairness, cooperation, kindness, and caring, quite often the hard way.

When you are young and wild, your emotions are all over the place.

You deal with everything with a certain hot-headedness.

Only when you get old and are approaching the end, do you realize that all that hatred was for nothing. You shake your head and laugh at the pettiness of it all.

You understand that blood is thicker than water and family relationships and loyalties are the strongest and most important ones.

Like Linda Sunshine said:

If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

So, it is normal and very common to hate your sister for something she did in the past, but at the same time, she’s the link to your childhood.

You will always fight, but you’ll always make up as well.

That’s what sisters do.

You argue you point out each other’s weaknesses, mistakes, and bad judgment, but in the end, you come back together.

Written By Isabella

Isabella Martinez, your go-to relationship advisor and creator of Life Falcon. I love diving into love, life, and star signs, sharing helpful tips and interesting thoughts with you.

More About Author

Trending Right Now

Cash Out Refinance Vs Home Equity Loan

Cash Out Refinance Vs Home Equity Loan

If you’re looking for ways to change the value of your home into funds then this article is just for you. The funds you obtain can be used for various

INFJ Relationships

INFJ Relationships And Compatibility With Others

Each individual perceives the world around him differently and each of us makes decisions accordingly. We are all different in our uniqueness as individuals and it is these subtle nuances

How to Copy DVD to External Hard Disk?

How to Copy DVD to External Hard Disk?

We miss our DVD era! We certainly have a vast collection of DVDs from our early ages and converting them to the hard disk for streaming is an excellent idea.

When your partner is not worth your time

16 Signs Your Partner Is Not Worth Your Time

In today’s time and age, finding the perfect partner is nothing short of a challenge. Individuals seem to be so focused on their work and financial status that they don’t

Gift Ideas for a woman who wants nothing

Gift Ideas For Women Who Want Nothing

No matter how many times you ask her, all you get in return is, “I have everything”. So let’s get you some gift ideas for women who want nothing. Women

Is 32 GB enough for an iPad?

Is 32 GB enough for an iPad?

Is 32 GB enough for an iPad?: Apple has been rolling out two versions of its iPad line; the base 32 GB version and the 128 GB version that costs

Best Voice Activated Recorders For Car

Best Hidden Spy Voice Activated Recorders For Car

Best Hidden Spy Voice Activated Recorders For Car: Remember the James Bond movies? The thrilling action and the gadgets which were light years ahead of their time? If you are

Rowing Vs. Running

Rowing vs. Running – Which is the better Workout?

So you’re sitting in your gym trying to figure out what’s better on rowing vs. running? Any exercise is better than nothing, however, the truth is that Rowing is a

Get A Taurus Man To Commit

How To Get A Taurus Man To Commit?

Taurus is an earth sign represented by a bull. Taurus males are known to be very stubborn with a hard exterior and a definite set of ideals. Taurus males tend

man pulls away in a long distance relationship

What to do when a man pulls away in a long distance relationship?

Relationships can be a beautiful aspect of one’s life. Every human craves love, attention, and care. Those needs are met in an affectionate and secure relationship. The ambience of tenderness

Top 5 Best Portable CD Players For Cars

Top 5 Best Portable CD Players For Cars

It was not so long ago when cassettes and CDs were used to listen to music in cars, but since the turn of the century, these technologies have started to

Make Your Boyfriend Feel Better When He's Sick Over Text

How To Make Your Boyfriend Feel Better When He’s Sick Over Text?

Long distance relationships are of a very unique nature. The diverse range of dynamics involved makes it peculiar to any other relationship you have been a part of. It tests

What Are Lone Wolf Personality Characteristics?

What Are Lone Wolf Personality Characteristics?

As much discredited by society, solitude has been the dearest and most defining trait of the lone wolf personality. Being assertive is taken as rude, keeping your emotions to yourself

Ladders in Minecraft - All You Need To Know

Ladders in Minecraft | All You Need To Know

While playing Minecraft the common thing everyone faces is that one can easily climb up the ladder but they cannot figure out how to climb down the ladder? As they

Best Electric Toothbrushes for Kids

13 Best Electric Toothbrushes for Kids

Healthier teeth help you maintain oral hygiene which is extremely crucial for fighting plaque, tartar, and keeping your teeth white. A combination of the best electric toothbrush for kids along

Water shoes for men

8 Best Water Shoes For Men

There’s nothing quite like water sports to provide a relaxing getaway from the constant festivities and hustle-bustle of a busy life. From scuba diving to fishing to hiking on a

Best Electric Fireplace

Best Most Realistic Electric Fireplace

Winters bring the added desire for comfort and warmth and with that comfort and warmth, and added elegance and the graceful interior is a much-needed plus for every dedicated homemaker.

39 Cool Gadgets For Men You Should See!

Hand Picked Cool Gadgets For Men

It’s time to spice up your life and stop moving around, lifelessly, in search of something to enrich your grey moments. A gentleman needs to have some of the coolest

Toxic Venting and tips to avoid

What is Toxic Venting & How to Avoid it?

We’ve all had to vent out to someone at some point in our lives. But we have to be sure it’s not toxic venting. But what actually is venting? Inspiring

How to tell if a Cancer Man Likes You More Than a Friend?

How to tell if a Cancer Man Likes You More Than a Friend?

How to tell if a Cancer Man Likes You More Than a Friend?: Trying to figure out if someone likes you more than a friend can be confusing and complicated,