Something that makes a good marriage somewhat irritating is individuals who jab their noses into matters that are personal to the couple. Here are some things married women hate listening to.
A couple of things that married women absolutely despise listening to are matters that concern fertility, family planning, their children, spouse, etc. Moms hate it when people mom-shame them, some hate it when others try to enforce their ways upon them, when others look down upon their performance as mothers, wives, homemakers, etc.
Married women will hear a great deal from people who have nothing to do with their marriage, and this isn’t something that’s local to one culture or region.
They hate it when you have a go at revealing to them when to have their next child or even their first or when somebody discloses to them that they need to take care of their home as opposed to working.
They disdain it when you simply consider them to be moms or spouses but not people who need a break or require a get-away. We need to acknowledge them as they are and leave them alone, whoever and anything they desire to be!
Following are some things that make married women furious
“How is your Married Life Going?”
This is a particularly bothering question, as there is no particular answer to it. It’s more similar to asking somebody “how are you?” you will consistently find fine as an answer.
Nobody will disclose the issues or the intimate issues that they go through so easily to anyone.
There is no compelling reason to forcefully get spicy talk out of the spouse, just to enjoy a few minutes tattling with your friends.
So pay regards to their privacy and let it be understood that you will be contacted when you are needed.
Married life is simply between the spouses. Nobody feels comfortable sharing their personal life.
If anyone asks this, it feels like they are trying to get into their personal life. So don’t think it’s an easy conversation question.
“When are you planning on having a baby?”
This is an extremely personal and triggering question for some, which ironically is only fired at married women, not men.
There is so much ethically wrong with this question.
Firstly, it is a couple’s choice when to have a baby and directing these questions at them only makes them uncomfortable and insecure, and also puts them under pressure to have a baby even if they may not be willing to have one. (This is usually the case with Asian families).
Now you don’t even know whether they can even have a baby or not. Or do you? There can be something wrong right? Medically speaking.
So, such questions must be avoided because fertility is different for any woman. And other than that pregnancy is dependent on a lot of other factors that include medical issues like endometriosis, uterine fibroids, untreated chlamydia or gonorrhea, not ovulating (not releasing eggs from your ovaries), poor egg quality, and many more.
So you might just hurt them by asking this question, even if you are a very close relative.
If a woman is silent when you fire such a question at her, make sure you know all of this before ever making the mistake again.
“You are married now, why do you need to complete your education?”
This assertion would make any lady’s head spin with rage. It resembles a statement as basic as, why are you tidying your room up today? Nobody is coming over.
She is doing it for herself. She is a living individual and might want to live her own way.
Getting married isn’t the translation for entering a cage you can’t extend beyond.
And there’s definitely a lot more than a woman can do except for cooking and washing heaps of laundry.
We need to comprehend that marriage isn’t something that restricts a lady from living life; rather it is something that assists her with self-development as now she has somebody to fall back on.
So if she chooses to carry on with her education even after getting married, you should know better than to bombard her with such a dishonoring and demeaning question because getting married doesn’t mean she’s not a person of her own anymore.
“So when is the Next Baby Coming?”
One much like the one about the most anticipated good news, this one proves it further that there is no need to play your part in every decision the couple makes.
Couples don’t owe nosy relatives or friends any explanation when it comes to anything let alone something as personal as family planning.
And they most surely do not need your unsolicited advice, suggesting how it’ll get harder once you cross 30.
It is a woman’s right to decide when she is mentally and physically ready to give birth again, and she shouldn’t be subjected to any twaddle that states otherwise.
Maybe they don’t want to have more. Maybe again there is something medically related. It can be anything. And above all of this. It is their personal choice.
Live and let live.
“What else do you need? You have such a loving husband and a cute baby.”
It must be understood that the life of a married woman isn’t supposed to start and end with her husband or children.
She’s still a person of her own who needs her space to regain her energy when life gets overwhelming for her.
And when individuals around her fail to understand this and keep bombarding her with rather stupid questions, then that’s when she starts to feel unvalued and unimportant as the individual that she is.
Thinking that her well-being comes second just because she now has a family is entirely incorrect because having a family means her well-being is even more important as she is the one who sets the environment in her home.
If she is distressed, the house no longer will feel like home.
Every woman married or not has the right to pursue their dreams and their passion. While they care the most for the family, they also need to do things for their selves. Everybody does.
And it is not selfish at all. It’s not like they will prioritize other things over them. But still, everyone has a passion,
“Why do you need a job? Your husband earns enough for you guys to be settled.”
Financial independence is not an unheard topic in today’s world and questioning a married woman why she needs it is very wrong.
Even if she is married to the biggest business tycoon that there is, the decision to not waste all her education and work should be her own.
If she wants to crash the couch and call it a life with money flowing in, then that too is up to her.
But if she is willing to go to work to earn for herself without wanting to depend on her husband for survival, then there is nothing wrong with that at all.
This as well comes under the “what else do you need?”
Again, everyone has a passion. They have goals. And they want to pursue them.
And above everything else. Do you really know, how much the husband earns? Do you really know their financial situation?
Maybe they are under debt. Maybe they are investing in some business and want to have another source of income as a couple.
The point is, you don’t know. So a married woman would never like to answer this question at all.
“You are not the same anymore. What happened to the old you?”
Obviously, she has evolved as a person. Marriage is a big deal.
She has experienced encounters that have helped her improve; change her thought process, her view/opinions about things.
She has co-existed with another human being and unconsciously adapted some of his ways/habits. We as a whole change with time, acquiring knowledge and experience, our priorities change.
This all is what makes us human.
How can you not anticipate a person to change after going through such a major change? It’s completely human, natural.
Stop making the other person feel guilty just because they have evolved.
“Take care of him; he looks so weak and tired!”
Every woman has heard it at least once in their wedded life.
Negative thoughts aside, it’s completely fine to deal with one another needs.
It’s just that there can be a couple of different reasons due to which an individual can look exhausted; it tends to be because of monetary issues or a difficult stretch at work.
Everything shouldn’t be blamed on the wife.
And outsiders have no right to assume that the man is not being taken care of!
Married ladies as of now have such a huge amount on their plate and are troubled with such countless things that it is the exact opposite thing they need to hear.
And besides, what if “he” is trying to lose weight? What if he lost weight due to some illness and the wife nursed her back to health with all her love and care?
“You are married, so you wouldn’t understand!”
This is something extremely hostile and wedded ladies hear it a large portion of the occasions.
It resembles shaming married women and thinking they have miraculously lost their ability to understand or empathize just because they have signed a marriage contract now.
Since such people can’t deal with an assessment, they target them by demeaning them and assuming that these women have not been met with similar experiences in their lives before marriage or whatever.
If anything, a married woman is much more mature now. She has experienced things, no single woman can understand.
She is more responsible. She is more patient. And if she is a mother. Oh, you should never ask her this question.
She is gone through so much that a woman without that experience can not even begin to contemplate.
“We didn’t think you would want to come, since you are married and all now.”
Once more, something that wedded ladies hear regularly! For what reason do you imagine that since she’s hitched she wouldn’t care to join you for a little get-together?
She’s a woman after all who needs a break, who needs a getaway from a devoted life.
However, realizing that she was not welcome to a gathering since her companions figured she’s hitched would hurt her as well.
Marriage for sure changes a lady’s life, however, it doesn’t remove her entitlement to act naturally, and tossing this statement at her would just aggravate her, or all in all seems as though you’re revealing to her that wedded ladies aren’t assumed to have a great time since they’re hitched.
Such private, demeaning, and insulting questions that you pose at married women can cause the other individual to feel awkward, under tension, and at times hurt their emotions.
Respecting someone’s privacy is one of the most basic keys to good morals and ethics. And if you don’t oblige to it, then you will just end up coming off as nosy, irritable, and even rude.
So attempt to be respectful, kind, supportive, and leave significant choices of their life exclusively on them.
Else, you may end up being the reason for the following fights that the couple might have.