When you think of the good ol’ days when you had just gotten together with your husband, all you can think of is flowers, chocolates, gifts, hugs, and kisses. The sweet talk, the candlelit dinners, the late-night pillow talk, the surprises have all now somewhat vanished from your life. For sure, when you love someone, romance comes out naturally. For a husband who is not attracted to you anymore, all of these things are off of the table. He probably does not even think of them anymore.
The only thing that he does is to make sure that you have everything that can help you survive through the month, but he has closed his eyes on the romance that he was once so feverish with.
“Romance focuses on emotions and on relationships, both of which are fundamentally important to women.” -Debbie Macomber
Even if the following sings make you think your husband is not attracted to you anymore, it’s okay we are here for you, you can still get that first love feeling again.
A long-lasting relationship does not only consist of love. It is an amazing amalgamation of care, affection, understanding, mutual respect, and most importantly passion. A little too often than we would like, a relationship starts to lose these elements and what is left behind is just an empty and fragile shell of…nothing.
“Love and attraction are the magnetic languages of the heart.”
Passion is the alone most supreme force behind every motive when you are in a relationship. It keeps love alive and does not let desire and affection fade away. It is the spice that adds flavor to love. Marriage – a life-long commitment is made on the foundation of love, tolerance, support, selflessness with hope for eternal happiness, and the opportunity to flourish and grow with the person you love.
Nevertheless, sometimes life takes harsh turns and stands you at a point where that same marriage seems to be tipping over a sharp cliff or standing in front of a dead end. That’s why we always recommend these things to know before getting married.
When the infamous sizzle of passion elapses and the dynamic bubble of desires pops, marriages can come to halts or even ends. It will not be surprising to say that a lot of men (and women, but we are talking about husbands here) begin to grow distant, bored, and sometimes even tired of their marriage, and feel like the relationship along with their partner has become underwhelming and mundane.
So here are some reasons that we have put together for the women out there who feel like their relationship might be at risk because their husbands aren’t attracted to them anymore.
1) You feel “Awkward” with your husband
Your relationship has changed from you and your partner getting laughing fits just because one of you messed something up, or did something silly; to now trying to survive under a thick dark cloud of awkwardness. There is nothing to talk about anymore unlike when you could both spend the nights up chatting and laughing with each other.
An unspoken space has been aired between you two and the discomfort of the silence and emotional distance makes your ears bleed.
The person you could run up to whenever you had something to talk about, or whom you could not avoid sharing the tiniest details of your day with seems achingly cold and unapproachable. You miss the ears that were always there to listen to you alone with the shoulder that you could always cry on.
A lot of you will still adamantly say that communication does not stand for love, but trust me it does. And a woman’s sixth sense is never wrong when she starts to feel that something is up with her man.
“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it…it dies.” -Tony Gaskins
The only and most obvious solution to this problem is to gather up the courage and sit down to talk to him.
Hearing his side of the story might open you up to a whole different perspective of your relationship. Maybe he seems distant from you because he thought that you were feeling the same and maybe wanted your time and space.
Even if this is not the case, just talk it through with him. Better late than never.
2) He is bored only when he is with you
Getting bored with your relationship and your partner is a completely natural part of human nature. Sometimes when things get too monotonous and run of the mine, it is okay to step back a little and try to find new and interesting ways that you can reconnect with your partner.
However, if your husband seems to be satiated and agitated only during the time that he spends with you, then it is no longer a false alarm.
If the thought of a drink out with his friends excites him, and if that excitement burns out into irritation the moment he sees you, then there is most probably something nagging him.
Then again, if you do not try to make the choice of talking to him, you will not be able to help your relationship.
3) Your husband argues a lot
If you have begun to feel like you cannot make it through a conversation with him without the arousal of an argument, then it is probable that he does not want to talk to you anymore and he is rude to you without a reason.
He is grown used to making you feel bad by being mean to you every time you try to talk to him about something, and there is a good chance that he is no longer affected by you getting hurt.
Yes, you can ask him and maybe go the longer mile by visiting a marriage counselor just to save your relationship, but if it seems like he just does not want to put any effort with you to fix himself, then you most definitely have a red flag facing your way.
4) He is no longer home, mostly
Love has the power to make you want to always cling onto the one you love for dear life.
They want to make it possible to somehow spend every moment of their day with you, always trying to come home earlier for an extra hour of spending time with you.
If he’s now staying out of home mostly, prefers to stay at work instead of coming home for lunch, or chooses to spend a night out with his friends when the both of you had some plans together; it is crystal clear that he enjoys time away from you.
And even though that is totally valid and acceptable, it is only bearable to a healthy extent.
Asking him about the things that bother him at home or something that he wants to change may be too much to ask, but it is an open option if you are willing to keep your relationship from falling apart.
Maybe this conversation will open his eyes to what he has been making you go through and he will try to change himself and apologize for the mistake he has made.
5) Your sexual life has come to a standstill
If making love has become more of a routine need for him, than something that he enjoyed and cherished, then the loss of attraction has become evident and unavoidable. It has turned into something you both did before and are doing now because it has become a habit.
The lack of physical intimacy is the greatest sign behind your husband losing the attraction he felt towards you from the beginning.
If he does it for the mere sake of daily regimen and flicks into becoming isolated the moment it is over, then it is about time that you start fretting the life of your relationship.
I agree that sex cannot be forced and I fully understand that there are off days when it comes to being physical, but if this starts to become the norm and there is either the option of an enfeebling moment under the sheets or nothing, then you just have to face the music.
6) You are no longer the priority to your husband
You might have already guessed this one. It does not at all mean that if your partner talks to his mother on the phone while you are watching a movie with him, or if he is running to the hospital to visit an ailing brother then he does not care about you anymore.
This is true only to when you put your heart and soul into the happiness of your partner and in response, they just keep their backs turned against you.
There is no longer an effort to keep you happy from their side and they prefer to keep themselves busy even when they can dedicate that time to doing something for you. Sometimes even cooking for someone or telling them you love them is enough to keep your heart fulfilled and their trust alive.
But if you get nothing from him, not even a mere kiss on the cheek when he comes home or is about to go to sleep, despite you loving and caring for them, then your relationship is in danger.
“A simple ‘I love you’ means more than money.” -Frank Sinatra
7) You are suspicious of your husband
It will be an overstatement to say that all men or women are cheaters.
Obviously not everyone cheats and not everyone has the tendency to cheat on their partner.
But if your man has always been someone who never thought of anyone but you, has eyes just for you, and if he is suddenly acting weird and started showing interest in other women, then you should realize that he wants to do things differently now.
To top that, if you come across some sort of evidence that serves as proof against their innocence, then you have absolutely no reason to stay with him.
It is natural and essential to push to your greatest extents, limits, and efforts when it comes to saving your relationship with the person you love, and if you deeply feel that the connection is worth rescuing and salvaging, then choose your fighter.
But if you reckon that it has gotten too late and that staying in the relationship will only cause you more distress, agony, and misery then it is best to give up on it and try to find someone better.
I know it will not be easy, but staying with someone who does not know how to treat his woman or cannot respect her is just another problem on your platter.
Whoever you are, wherever you live, however old you are, you do not deserve a treatment like this.
And a man who does not know your worth.
“Sleeping alone is better than sharing your bed with someone who shares their bed with someone else when you are not around.” -Unknown
8) Criticism has transformed into disrespect and even worst
Okay maybe that’s too harsh, and you probably not gonna do that, not maybe until you know for sure he is cheating on you. ” I hope not”.
But whenever you talk and whatever you talk about, whether it is about a new movie you have watched or something more serious like a promotion at work, he just not seems interested in listening to you, or finds whatever you are saying stupid or, meaningless, and accompanies it with an eye-roll or an annoyed sigh. He is not cranky or grumpy, but he is straight-up disrespecting you.
Men unknowingly act in such a manner with their wives, without realizing that they would feel a lot worse if the same happened to them. Their egos cannot withstand the earthquake of not being given enough attention or respect, but they expect women to put with such an intolerable and emotionally crushing behavior.
You undoubtedly do not need to bear treatment like this and a man who does this to you absolutely does not deserve you, your time, and your undeniable love and care.
If you give him your everything, care for him with every piece of your being, are ready to give up everything just for the sake of his love, then your life is unarguably not worth him.
“Love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect.” -Via (The Minds Journal)
9) He has started taking you and your love for granted
Unquestionably, when you are in a long-term relationship with someone you love, both of you get extremely attached and used to each other.
Sometimes, this attachment can get a step ahead and your partner can start taking your love for granted just because they know that you will not leave them no matter what happens.
It will not be untrue to say that even the most powerful feelings like love can cease when they are neglected or taken for granted.
If your husband has adopted the same behavior, with no apologies or efforts to fix things when he makes mistakes, just because they know that you will never have the courage to leave them, then it is true that they have stopped being grateful and thankful for your love and do not value you anymore.
What they do not know is that by taking your love for granted, they are pushing you away and just teaching you how to live without them.
If for some god-knowing reason, you still do not have the resolution and bravery to leave such a depreciative partner, then trust me, girl, you are wasting your time.
Love can exist without being met with the same love back, but it cannot withstand the shake of being taken for granted.
Do not mislead them by making them think that whatever they do to you, or however they act towards you, or how far they push you away, you will always come running back because this will give you no outcome except for absolute pain and misery.
Show him that he will have to face the most excruciating consequences if he makes you go through such hardship.
Make it known that you have the confidence to leave him and you are independent enough to perfectly carry on with your life without him.
Believe it or not, your happiness will hurt a man more than leaving him will. He can then go on and live his life however he wants, but this time without you in it.
10) Your husband is critical of whatever you do
One of the greatest signs of a husband who is losing interest in you is when he transients from being sweet, supportive, awestruck of you to somewhat always calling you out for the things you do. Yes, love can grow or change over time, but it is not weak enough to just disappear.
If he demurs or expostulates the same childish and eccentric aura of yours that he was always a fan of, and is now just a walking and talking time bomb, ready to explode whenever you try to cheer him up or do something that you want to, then I hate to break it to you, but he might not want to be with you anymore.
And before you start to blame yourself for making him feel unattracted towards you, then let me tell you that if your demeanor has not shifted a single degree, then you are not the one with the problem, he is.
What to do now?
In my opinion, whatever situation you are in and you are reading these, it is suggestive that you first fully and correctly analyze your relationship.
You cannot entirely depend upon intuition or stuff you read online.
Following that, if you are completely sure that something is up with your husband and he really does not love you anymore, then my first proposition will be to try to talk to the person who is the center of your suspicion and discomfort: the husband.
I am not taking sides here at all, but all I mean to say is that there are chances that you think is a mere understanding.
If I were in your place, I would never take any step before confronting him.
It is not compulsory that the result of this conversation will always be positive, but it really helps to clear a lot of things out.
The next step can be opting for therapy, but that is totally up to the both of you to decide to be very honest.
What you need to remember is that you might have to make some very harsh decisions.
If you are sure that he is done with you, then who are you staying for? A miracle that is going to magically make him love you back? I do not think that something like that is likely to happen. Choose wisely, and make the needed decision after thinking it through.
And throughout that, please do not forget that your value cannot be decreased just because a man was not able to see it. You were not raised to depend on others to determine your worth.
“If you are searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Unknown