Are you unhappy with your girlfriend being a bartender? Well, let us guess, the reason for this must be, long work hours, flirt being the work demand of this profession, the negative stereotypes linked to the job of bartending, etc. Right?
That is the very reason for you looking for ways to deal with your girlfriend being a bartender?
But, before we get there let us repeat the most important rule of being in a relationship, i.e always respect your partner’s choices.
Acceptance is the key to a good relationship, and that is a fact.
So, you shouldn’t be bothered by the career choices your girlfriend makes, because it’s entirely her choice.
So now the question, how to not bother about something highly associated with the most negative social stereotypes?
The answer to this is, by ignoring these stereotypes. Because if your girl had the guts to shatter them and live her life as per her choices, you should also develop some.
And the primary trick to do that is, start thinking positively. Start focusing on the pros and you’ll realize how things aren’t that bad.
Pros of dating a Bartender:
Count yourself lucky if you got a bubbly, witty bartender as a partner. A package consisting of free drinks with not one but two limes (how great is that?!!) accompanied by never-ending interesting stories.
Most of the bartenders are usually very creative and are good listeners. With their friendly communicating skills, you can say goodbye to awkwardness for good.
Also, are you a fan of fancy drinks whose names you have trouble pronouncing??
Dating a bartender with their ways around drinks accompanied with admirable shaking skills will ensure that you have a fair share of fun and boredom will hopefully never knock on your door again.
BUT, keep in mind it is not always glitter and sparkles. With crazy working hours and desperate, horny customers, the job of bartenders especially female bartenders can prove to be quite a handful, not just for the bartender themselves but their partners as well.
Love is all about acceptance, accepting each other’s imperfections, appearances, opinions, jobs, family, and life choices.
So, if your girlfriend is working as a bartender and the nature of this job is bothering you, don’t you worry, we got you covered.
Following are a few tips and suggestions that will most definitely help you cope and accept your girlfriend’s job and that will also lead to a healthier relationship between you two.
1) Ensure that she does her job professionally
2) Respect her and accept her job
3) Avoid sudden dates
4) Love her, regardless
5) Don’t compare
6) Look out for other opportunities
Ensure that she takes her job professionally:
It is a well-known fact that female bartenders are subjected to constant flirting and inappropriate remarks from their customers who are usually drunk, thirsty dudes.
So, don’t blame yourself if initially you are a bit wary of her job and don’t trust her completely.
Have a talk with her. Tell her to treat her customers with the utmost professionalism, keeping aside all personal advantages.
Tell her not to accept any inappropriate gifts from any of her customers and warn her to not flirt with anyone just to get a hand on some extra cash as a tip.
If you start having few suspicions, occasionally drop by her bar and observe her from afar. BUT, do it occasionally and maintain a safe distance from her.
If you start visiting her every day to work, she might think that you don’t trust her at all. What worse, if she is a sensitive birdie, it can prove to be lethal for your relationship.
Be subtle and keep an eye on her from afar. Look out for any regular customers who seem to get a little too friendly and make your girl uncomfortable.
At the same time, make sure that your girlfriend’s alcohol intake is as minimum as possible. Bartenders are expected to taste the drinks they make in order to check their consistency, so beware of that.
If you see her being a little too informal, intervene politely and let her somehow know by your expressions that you don’t approve of that.
BUT, keep your possessiveness in check, and don’t kill her business by creating a scene over a small thing.
Respect her and accept her job:
Keep in mind, that she is not doing this for fun. Your girlfriend works as a bartender so that she can provide for herself and be self-dependent.
She is trying her best to be an independent young woman.
Rather than being embarrassed by her, you should be proud that she is putting in her efforts, a lot of ladies out there are too lazy to even do that.
She might be working long and strange hours usually during the night and that itself is physically and mentally taxing.
She must be distracted, lazy, and tired from getting hit on all the times. Be understanding and appreciate her efforts.
Be by her side, show her how much you love and care for her and this will definitely help bloom your relationship.
Avoid Sudden dates:
A downside of working as a bartender is the crazy night shifts. They can be long and are usually the complete opposite of the typical office schedules from nine to five.
So, if the weather is great and you are craving some date time with your girlfriend, this might not do.
She must have a tight, fitting schedule that requires you to plan your dates and vacations prior.
Understand and plan all your hangouts at least a week ahead and let her know. This will spare you future arguments from both sides.
Another important thing to keep in mind is that bartenders are typically working on holidays. In fact, these are the busiest and potentially profitable days to earn some extra cash.
So, mentally brace yourself if she is not available to kiss under the mistletoe or share your thanksgiving turkey.
You will be expected to make some sacrifices but that let us tell you, will all be worth it if your love is real.
Lover her regardless:
You should be well aware of the fact that every job comes with its own sets of challenges.
The challenge for your girlfriend is unnecessary and inevitable flirting from the customers. Her customers are often drunk dudes who tend to slip past their limits quite often.
Most of the people visiting the bar might treat her as dumb, a total time pass, a blob of the flesh who they expect to agree with every juvenile, inappropriate request of theirs.
Here, your part is very important. Make sure that you repeatedly remind your queen of her worth and be available if she needs to share something.
So, be kind and shower her in countless love. Understand her challenges and always offer a warm shoulder to her. Recognize her efforts and patience and be proud of her!
No relationship is perfect. It’s okay if sometimes your girlfriend is not able to join you on a double date with your high school friend.
It’s okay if this year you have to spend valentine’s alone. It’s okay because what you guys have is above all of these things.
Don’t compare your relationship with anyone else. Let’s say you are a doctor or a lawyer and she works as a bartender.
No matter how much you pretend, there is bound to be some parity, right?
Some people are bound to comment on the odds of your relationship. Sometimes, when you see your mates with engineer girlfriends, you are bound to question yourself.
But understand that no profession is unworthy or bad, it’s the stereotypes linked to them that make them appear good or bad in our eyes.
And your queen is brave enough to handle all these stereotypes. So be a man, and stand by her.
With the passage of time, few recriminations might start surfacing but again, you will defeat all that if you both are genuinely true to each other and trust each other.
Look out for opportunities:
Most of the bartenders, typically do this job part-time. If your girlfriend is one of these cases, great! But if not, that’s most definitely a problem. Not only is this job unstable with strange working hours, but the checks are also varying.
So, look out for opportunities like new, better job postings, while ensuring that her ‘will to grow’ is still fresh and present. Or if she is enthusiastic about pursuing any of her academic dreams, you both can work together to save some cash to get her a college degree.
Whatever you both do, it is important that her progress curve always goes up, not down, not even flat.
-In the end, it is vital to understand that what matters at the end is how willing are you to work on your relationship.
BUT, keep in mind, for every relationship to work, efforts should be made from both parties.
Just remember to be kind and trust each other and most importantly, be mature and don’t let other’s opinions affect you in any way.
Love will win in the end if you are willing to compromise, just a little effort is what it takes for your relationship to bloom.