Your week’s laundry is piling up, your inbox is boiling with unanswered emails and text messages, your wardrobe is in a chaos mode, and all the time in the world seems too little to get all of these things done. In short, you feel, your life is a mess.
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it is going to launch you into something great.” -Paulo Coelho
Tasks are waiting for you to administrate and handle them everywhere you look and sometimes every single one of your chores piles up to become this scary, demoralizing, and imaginary monster that terrorizes and scarifies you into a state of dismay and hopelessness. It then feels like it can’t be handled anymore.
Undoubtedly, we have all been through a similar standing once or multiple times in our lives and huffed, “My life is such a mess right now. I want to die,” to ourselves. Mayhaps even shed a tear or two?
As much as it frustrates and eats our heart out, it is hands down very common for life to overwhelm you and subject you to emotional and/or mental stress when you are going through it at a fast, haphazard pace.
The greatest, easiest solution to the problem is to take a step back, breathe in, and keep telling yourself that time heals everything until you truly understand the de facto meaning of it. Time holds the power to metamorphose and regenerate everything, every emotion, every hellacious situation, every aggravating problem, every clouding stress…it all breaks down with time.
And the reason behind this break down is the fact that everything in this world, whether it is an emotion or a herculean phase of exasperation is That’s because every one of these things is interim, ephemeral, and fleeting.
“Life changes very quickly, in a very positive way, if you let it.” -Lindsey Vonn
In my opinion, from time to time we feel like our life is falling apart and that everything is getting too burdensome and arduous to maneuver. Perhaps the greatest reason behind this standpoint is that we all spend our childhood and youth with the delusive and fallacious belief that everything will be all rainbows and sunshine once we step into adulthood.
It is a fundamental and congenital part of juvenility to develop great expectations for the future and misconceive and miscalculate that you have the true abilities that are needed to make it through the hardest problems of your life.
You are caught up in the juvenescence that life is just a piece of cake that can be looked after just because you are…old. Still and all, the reality is something radically contrary to this mere fantasy. It is all the deal of one incorrect move which makes life turn the tables on you and you are left in a trance, thinking, “Well joke’s on me.”
As tedious as uninteresting as it sounds, the real tip is to always remember to take baby steps no matter what the path, and try to think strategically and smartly when it comes to the journey that is life.
Thereupon, sit back, get a cup of some comforting coffee, and let me introduce you to ways you can trick your life into slowing down a bit and regaining control over it.
Yes, it will be a little, well, let me be real, a lot harder than you anticipate, but the good news is that you can overcome it just with a change of perspective and tons and tons of positivity.
“Positivity always wins….always.” -Gary Vaynerchuk
Recognizing the mess of your life
Every human being is divergent from the other and the manner in which we recognize, decipher and deal with our challenges always varies from person to person.
And yes, obviously, everyone has different dilemmas as well.
So the recommendation to take a shot at pinpointing all the things that are troubling you and forcing you to feel that you are on the rack.
Okay, laugh at me all you want, but make a list. I know, I know. You must be thinking, “I already don’t have time and this crazy person wants me to make a list about things that stress me out, so I get even more stressed out? Yeah, right. Dream on. I would rather stay the way I am.”
I know it is a lot easier said than done, but if you do not prioritize your issues and your struggles in regards of what needs to be dealt first and what can be left until tomorrow, then you are at a high risk of completely losing yourself even more in the mess that surrounds you
Initially it feels unpractical and needless thing to jot down what is really bothering you and you would prefer to carry on with your life how it is, but let me tell you that this behavior is not going to get you anywhere.
If you do not know what your problems are, you will be unable to address them, and if you cannot address them, then all that is going to happen is that your problems are going to get bigger and bigger till you feel like you are deep underwater, caught up in a strong mesh net with no way to get out by yourself.
If you are seriously struggling, then it is most advisable to start taking your problems seriously as well because that is the only thing that is going to prevent your life from going further haywire. I am sure you are not in a situation to think and rationalize solutions properly but trust ya girl.
But seriously, I promise. If you take just a short while out of your life in an attempt to organize everything, your recovery is going to get a lot easier. I assure you. Please.
Prioritizing in accordance with importance and control
The next step after finally identifying the issues that are making you feel like your life is a mess is to classify them with regards to how important they are and if they are even under your control, to begin with.
You can feel confused and disarrayed for a variety of reasons that circle your physical and mental life. Yes, it is mostly the bigger, more intense, and virtually backbreaking challenges that make you feel like this, but some of the times, the solutions to the tiniest of problems can help lift the heaviest of burdens off of your shoulders and give you a big sigh of relief. On top of that, they help to jack up your self-assuredness and give you the courage to deal with the bigger problems that lay ahead.
At exactly this stage, the list you made earlier really aids you to work towards a better plight. Your problems noted in a list help you to get a clearer, more retrospect version of the situation you are in and help to deal with them more smartly and wisely since you know what requires the most attention and which problem is just not under your control.
For example, a pile of dirty laundry and a wobbly relationship with your significant other are two completely polar hardships and the latter is way too difficult to deal with for starters.
So the smart decision would be to pick yourself from the sofa and drag yourself to the laundry room and do the laundry. Now, check that off of the list and move to the next smaller, manageable problem.
I know it does not seem like a lot of work done in the beginning, but the peace of moving down the list mixed with the satisfaction of checking the troubles down helps to alleviate your mood and give you a boost of self-assurance and confidence in your problem-solving abilities.
As for the harder, virtually unsolvable problems, you have no option but to let go of them. Everyone has problems and it is totally natural for you to have a greater number of harder problems than smaller ones.
Problems are the harsh reality of life and human nature. And the only way to get rid of them is to let go of the ones that are not under your control and focus on fixing the ones you can really fix. If you think your relationship is on a rocky road at the moment just because you saw your man talk to another girl or like her picture, then you need to understand that calming down and acting rationally is the only valid option that you have.
It’s better to talk it through with the person and even fight about it to clear it out rather than letting that insecurity and pressure of a supposedly shattering relationship burden you and lead to a dismal situation. Address the problems that you think are the most tractable next.
Get help from someone if you really need it, but in my opinion, you are the only one who can actually solve your problems.
Help from others can prove favorable and beneficial, but you are the only person who understands the problems you are in because you most definitely know the causes behind them.
“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington
You are the one in control
Remind yourself that you are the one in control. When your life is heading in the opposite direction from which you want it to go in, then you need to regain your dominion over it. It is an absolutely run of the mill thing to barge into an apparent dead-end in your life but all you need to do is stay strong and keep reminding yourself that you are the one in charge of the steering wheel and you get to decide what happens with your life.
Trust me, patience, strength, and determination are your best friends when you reach such a point in your life.
You can do it.
You are bigger than your problems.
All you need to do is just, start. without worrying if you will ever be able to finish or not because everything happens for a reason and there is always a solution to every problem. On top of that, just like I said before, no problem is there to stay and time always washes the stains of desolation and discomposure from your life.
“Yesterday has gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. All we have is today.” -Mother Teresa
Clearly, your present is all that holds importance. The past is done, the future you cannot guarantee, so all you need to focus on is your today and strive to make it better. Hence, sitting on the floor with a messy kitchen and stumbling life is not the right way to handle your life even if sometimes that is all you need.
But what you need to do is to start being mindful in your thoughts and actions in a way that facilitates your present and help you to evolve into a better person in the future. Your thoughts and actions right now are all that matters.
Do not make the mistake of letting your stress consume you whole.
Do not get stuck in the whirlwind of overthinking. Be your own boss and your own appreciator. Take small steps towards self-satisfaction and keep patting yourself on the back during each stage towards the transformation.
Congratulate yourself when you overcome the smallest of problems in your life because that is the first step towards your destination. And do not leave the hands of positivity and determination during this journey at all costs.
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” -William James
Realize that Pain is optional
“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” -Buddha
Your life can only detangle once you decide to make efforts to get out of the mess that it has become.
There is no use of procrastinating and thinking that your desire to change can wait until tomorrow. It should not. Start trying now. Your desire to transform should be headstrong and firm inside you and should surpass all your other desires.
Do not let self-critique and an overthinking mind stop you from achieving the mental satisfaction you need to make your life better. Cut that negativity off from your mind and start trying. You cannot expect to wake up one day and have a problem-free and flawless life with everything organized.
Change is gradual, so give yourself the ted talk you need to get this ingrained in your mind and then let the change come to you, step by step.
Enjoying your growth is the most satisfying experience of all and it can not only remove you from the pits of the mess that is swallowing you day by day but also give you a strong boost of self-confidence.
Start a gratitude journal
Okay yes, this one is the easiest and most understandable by now I am sure. Take out an empty notebook or order it, and start your own personal gratitude journal. Now, what is a gratitude journal you must be thinking? A gratitude journal is a journal or a list that centers on the things that you are thankful for in your life.
There are innumerable benefits of keeping a journal like this. It is going to be your greatest companion if you are struggling with your life at the moment and finding it difficult to understand that not everything is as negative as it seems to you.
This journal will help you to readjust your focus and give your attention to things that you are grateful for, things that make you happy no matter what problems you might be going through and every last tiniest ray of light in a life that seemingly looks dark.
You must be thinking, another list?
Yes, but this kind of list helps to pull you out of the messy stage of your life, and then goes onto to growing and staying with you forever. By making such a list, you are choosing to concentrate only on the positive aspects of your life, and doing yourself good because believe it or not, a gratitude list has been psychologically proven to generate optimism and happiness in a person.
It improves self-esteem and your faith in yourself and in God by reminding you that He is with you when no one is and that He has blessed you with so much more than you think. It helps you sleep better at night knowing that you have God’s support and that He definitely has something a lot better for you in-store.
As Oprah Winfrey said,
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.”
At last, all I can say to you is to relax and let time do its thing (mixed with your efforts of course). Each moment of life brings in the potential for a new beginning. And you can only create a new beginning by changing what you can and letting go of what you cannot because that is the only road to peace.
All through it, remember to never stop believing in what you can do, always trust God to reward you with the best of endings, be patient, be resilient, and make that list. Psst.
“You do not find the happy life. You make it.” -Camilla Eyring Kimball