We have heard phrases “In order to be beautiful, you just need to be yourself and love yourself”. And then another statement kicks in which proves to be a starter for motivation but also confuses you a bit: “You need to approve of who you are rather than waiting for other people to approve you”.
As much as I agree with this and preach this also, a lot of people are unable to do this. They are unable to bring themselves to the decision of loving the real them. They wait for other people to approve of who they are so that they can feel alive and loved.
But here is the big question; why do you want to be loved instead of loving yourself? Why does it feel better when others approve of you? Are you content with the fact that the society approves of you but you, on your own, are unable to accept the real you? Do you love the person you are when you are all alone?
And then there is this famous line that says that in order to love someone, you need to love yourself first. This theory wasn’t available when our parents got married or was it?
But with all the struggle and endless divorces piling up in the last few years, it has been proven that doing a lot for someone, makes you reach the ending line of any relationship.
Thus, it is important to love yourself not just for the sake of any relationship but for the sake of a better and content lifestyle.
When we all know that self-love is important…then why is it that bringing it in life becomes so hard?
How do you manage to love yourself?
Here is a little guide to how to love you from my side. Just remember that loving yourself is not about getting obsessed with yourself; there is a fine line difference and you need to understand that in order to embrace the good in life.
1. Change your self-perception:
The way you look at yourself is really important. It defines the core of a lot of things in your life. If you are going to look down upon yourself and term yourself as worthless, chances are that you will become it.
People have created a perception that you need to be different from all the random people to be worthy of something and that is where we all go wrong. To be worthy does not demand to be different; not at all.
When you actually embrace your true self and who you are, that is when you are worthy of everything in life.
Changing the core of your nature to assume that you will be worthy, is where you go wrong.
The first step to loving yourself is to stop looking at yourself from the wrong perception.
You need to unfold yourself and look at yourself with appreciation.
Even when you fail, you need to pick yourself up and praise the efforts that you have made.
Don’t think you are worthless because that will just shatter your confidence.
2. Set a good waking up habit:
This might seem a little weird but all that social media apps that you check in the morning are no good to you.
Know what is the best way to wake up. But before become a morning pers.
The best way is to sit up, breathe in and breathe out deeply and remind yourself these 10 points.
Admit the fact that you got another day to live your life the way you always wanted to.
People usually decide to check their mobiles when they wake up, and see if all the people have given the thumbs up to their images, statuses and all.
You don’t need anybody else’s appreciation. You need only your own.
Yet again, we look for the world to approve of us instead of approving our own self first.
So every morning, breathe love for yourself and set your mind to think and act positively. This life is worth living fully.
You know what is the main difference between Warren or Bill Gates and us? It’s not that they have gifted brains or have money-making brains. It’s only the fact that they wake up at 4 am every morning.
And that they are 4 hours ahead of everybody else and in a habit of meditating, breathing and analyzing their lives.
Well, this is a “must be on the list” of the journey of self-love.
If you want to love yourself, allow yourself to relax and meditation helps you the best in doing so.
Meditation allows you to focus on you on a daily basis. It is not important that you need to meditate for hours and hours.
A little dedication to it will do a lot of good to you. Just spare 10-15 minutes daily and meditate.
Yoga is considered the best meditation but a lot of people are unable to commit to it. And that is okay!
You don’t need to be the yoga expert to focus on you or find peace. You can simply walk for 15 minutes daily.
Writing a journal is also a type of meditation exercise.
You are able to write down all the good and bad of your day on a page; you take all the bad vibes on a piece of paper and it really foes helps.
4. Know when to surrender:
Nobody wants to do that these days. We all just want to fight for what we want, what we think we deserve and what our thoughts are.
But sometimes, what you think you deserve is not the right thing.
So learn to relax and let go off what is doing no good to you and is not meant for you.
Understand when something is not for you.
Fighting with yourself all the time for people or situations in life that you want to achieve won’t help you at all.
Motivation is great but pushing off the limits over and over again in a situation, where you have no control is stupid.
You should know the difference between what you can achieve and what you can’t or what is meant for you and what isn’t.
Sometimes letting go does seem hard but that is the right thing to do. So in order to love yourself, you need to be good to yourself as well.
Know when you have to surrender and bring peace to your mind and life.
5. Gratitude and appreciation:
When we don’t appreciate the things we own, we start hating people around us.
We envy them for having what we might have desired
The key to love yourself is to love what you already have. Thats one of the most important point to be successful and happy in life.
And to appreciate what you already have, the key is to look below you.
See what people below you don’t have and you will automatically feel grateful for whatever you already own.
6. Don’t forget self-respect:
When I see kids these days flushing away their self-respect in the name of relationships that won’t last two months even; I feel sorry for them.
If you want to love yourself, you need to remember to respect yourself.
If you don’t respect yourself, you won’t ever be able to love yourself.
Know what is important for your self-respect.
Don’t indulge in any activity that will harm your respect and make you feel dejected at the end.
7. Forgive yourself to love yourself:
Forgiving others is hard, but we somehow manage to do that.
The toughest thing is to forgive yourself. Those guilt pangs and that feeling that makes you feel like you are the evilest person on this earth doesn’t let you live, does it?
Therefore, you need to learn to forgive yourself. You think you loved the wrong person; tell them and forgive yourself for it.
You think you hurt someone unintentionally; it happens, everyone is going to hurt someone, forgive yourself.
You think you ruined someone’s life because you confessed that you don’t adore them; you did them good for the long run, forgive yourself.
Learn to forgive you because it was not your fault.
We all make mistakes and that is what makes us.
Life didn’t arrive with a packet of instructions, did it?
8. Know rejection:
Everyone won’t approve of who you are and they will reject you. At one point or another in life, you will face it.
Know the fact that rejection is a part of life and it doesn’t make you any less worthy.
All minds don’t think alike and they don’t adore the same things. There are successful vs unsuccessful mindset people, and it all depends on you which ones you should keep in your life.
9. Be patient:
You need to trust yourself, your skin and who you are. This does seem hard.
I mean, in a world like this where the society parameters are getting so much attention, we are just doomed by the idea of not being what people approve off.
The thing is to go “slow” on “yourself”.
Let go off urgency.
Don’t fear what the society wants you to be; see what you want yourself as in your life.
Do good work and wait for the fruit. Stop striving; start thriving.
10. Focus on the positive:
It is so easy to see the bad side to everything right?
What takes guts is to embrace the positivism.
We can train our minds in any way we want.
One can see the glass half empty or half full, and those who see the glass half full, embrace positivism.
Stay away from negative and toxic people. Make Positive thinking people your friends. Listen to motivating music instead of the sad one. Watch motivational and inspirational movies. Surround yourself with positivism.
Remember positive input is always equal to positive output.
Inspire yourself every day and live life like it’s meant to be lived.
See the brighter side of every situation and this will help you fall in love with yourself and in your life as well.
Life can be hard and loving yourself becomes harder in tough situations. But the point is that you never will be approved by this damn society so let it be.
Know your worth and learn to appreciate yourself because no one else will.
Positivism can break through the darkest hours and will help you reach the aims of your life.
Don’t wait for people to approve of you. Be confident in your skin. Remember, confidence is the key to success. Appreciate your efforts, love yourself and see how wonderful life gets for you. It all lies within you and no one else will be able to give something great until you don’t decide it for yourself.