So how to get prepared for marriage mentally? And what are the important things you should know if you are getting married? Getting married is a time when couples finally think about settling down, they imagine the happily ever after thing (thanks to Disney for that, mostly). Well, to be honest, married life is something more than just a “happily ever after.” And if you are the one who believes in it, I would recommend you to stop watching Disney movies throughout the day and get the getting married life thingy. It is beyond those 2 and a half-hour animation films. See top rules for a successful marriage.
Are you mentally prepared for your marriage?
I am here to paint a picture for you, a true picture that will allow you to be prepared for your marriage mentally.
It’s time to get serious.
I don’t mean to scare you out of your married life.
But I know that If you love her/him enough, it’s going to be enough for you to answer “how to get prepared for marriage mentally.”
However, if you already understand that married life or wedding is a deeper relationship, apart from just sex or a happily ever after; kudos to you.
If you don’t know anything about “what it’s like being married” and you are diving in it because your girlfriend said; “I don’t see a ring on this finger,” then trust me, you still have time to run!
The Feeling of First Love goes away:
We have heard this brutal truth so many times and it does seem obvious as well. Hollywood isn’t happening in real life, so yes, there will be times when you will lose the spark to your love life. You will feel drained and tired and a lot more feelings will flush in, apart from love!
Does that make a good enough reason to say your married life goodbye?
Trust me, you will be ending your marriage every 2nd year like this and probably by the time you are 60, you will maybe have like 10 ex-wives and ex-husbands.
Just know one thing; the spark will diminish sometimes but that doesn’t mean that you don’t love your partner anymore. Giving each other some space and understanding that married life is not a Hollywood movie is a good thing to consider before getting married.
Attraction won’t Last Forever:
Let’s face the reality that you won’t always be attracted towards your partner. Even if he/she is doing something which turns you on; sometimes that trick won’t work even.
And you might want to slap him or her for trying it over and over again. You just need to understand it once; if he or she ain’t getting attracted, leave the effort.
Physical attraction is given a lot of weight by our society and that has changed a lot about marriages.
However, if you understand the fact that you can’t be attracted by someone all the time and that doesn’t mean your love for them has faded; you will have a successful married life.
Show Love when you Don’t Want to:
Being Married is a bumpy ride.
Things won’t go smoothly. Rocks and bumps are part of this journey.
There are times when your partner irritates the hell out of you because obviously, something is irritating them as well.
In such cases, you really do wish that you become the princess from Tangled and bag a frypan in their face but you simply can’t.
You need to show that you love them and you care for them and you will be with them through the tough time.
This might seem hard but it always stays as a big positive factor on your side.
Does your Marriage need work or is it Doomed?
So the new generation hates working on simply anything.
We are such lazy heads, that working properly on an assignment, for consecutive days, becomes too hard for us, right?
So who has time to work on a marriage?
Better is to tag it as DOOMED and get divorce papers ready; you are a free bird again!
That is not the right way.
Sometimes your married life needs some work and all you have to do is, gulp that stinky glass of pride down your throat and save it.
Don’t tag it as doomed, until you haven’t tried to make it work.
Children WILL add stress to your Marriage:
You might find this weird but it is a brutal truth that having children does add stress to your married life.
It is like an extra cherry on top of the cake.
The feeling of becoming parents is wonderful but you have to put in a lot of effort as well.
And these efforts take so much of your time that you forget why you got married in the first place.
So it is important to keep the spark alive and doesn’t forget that you also have a husband in the other room, who get so pissed of waiting for you that you end up fighting.
Married life is a journey and you don’t have a destination for it. And the journey is full of ups and downs and bumps. But at the same time, it is wonderful as well. Having someone beside you through thick and thin is nothing less than a blessing. Just know the fact that you won’t get a road filled with roses in the name of marriage; you need to face the hardships to make it work. Those amazing and attractive old couples, sitting in parks have done it and so can you. Just don’t hide from reality; face it, embrace it and make it work guys.
Don’t be afraid to commit to your relationship
Afraid to commit to a relationship? This is because we have accepted it this way. We have found “ending problems” for a lifetime, the perfect solution to every issue. We actually never give a thought that our parents have been living together for a long time and they actually believed in solving issues then ending them which promised them a “forever”.
But this story might astonish you.
Dale Partridge (a business coach and founder of StartUpCamp.com) is a man who said that is not just married to one woman. He posted on his Facebook some time back that he loves his beautiful and amazingly pretty wife Veronica. But he also added that he isn’t married to just one woman.
“How is this even possible? How can you love your wife “a lot” and the same time you are also telling the world that she is not the only woman you are married to? This might sound weird to you but here is the entire story for you.”
Dale Partridge further posted:
“Men these days are really worried that marrying will leave them with only one woman for the rest of their life. That is actually not true!”
“I feel in love with a 19-year-old rock climber Veronica. I married a 20-year-old animal lover and began my family with a 24-year-old mother. Then at the age of 25, a built a farm with a homemaker and today, I am married to a 27-year-old woman of wisdom.”
“The point is that if your mind is healthy, you won’t ever get tired of one woman. You will actually get overwhelmed with the idea of how many beautiful versions of her you get married to over the passing years. Don’t say no to marriage. Say yes and kept saying yes until you die.”
You can actually love this post and say a lot about it but I guess Veronica summed up all the feelings in just one sentence:
“That just hits every heartstring you could possibly hit.”
Dale Partridge is an author and entrepreneur but at the same time, he utilizes his Facebook to stress the importance of family and faith in everybody’s life.
So here are some things that we learn about marriage from this viral post. Even when they are little, they are the things that can make your married life bliss.
Your Life won’t be Miserable after Marriage:
It is not just boys but girls these days also have the idea that their life will be ruined and miserable once they get married. The idea of committing to one for a lifetime haunts people (I really don’t know why) endlessly.
Dale explains how your life can be great if you understand that changes are going to come in all of us at individual levels even after marriage. Changes aren’t the reason why you quit on someone. If he loved the rock climber Veronica; he wouldn’t have married the animal lover, right? But he understood that changes are going to happen for sure and they don’t make life miserable.
Change is a Part of Life:
Yes, I summed that a little above but it is important to stress upon it. Change is a part of life and we cannot quit it. If you fear change then you really aren’t living or enjoying every moment of your life.
Thus accepting the fact that changes do come in life and changing or evolving with time is important and great too.
The Bond between Husband and Wife is a Gift from GOD:
Dale has shown that the bond between a husband and wife is a gift from God. If you look at it this way, then you will be satisfied with the ups and downs of marriage. To make that bond stronger, you have to make efforts (obviously). So don’t get tired of the efforts and call it quits.
Still afraid to commit to a relationship?
Marriage is a sacred bond; a relationship of faith, love, and care!
Our society is too afraid of commitment. We all want love but we don’t want commitment, right? Anyways, when you need love, you have to commit and you can’t just leave when you have had enough.
This is where Dale makes us realize that we are not marrying one woman. We will change over time and we see different faces and different versions of the person we marry (be that the male or the female). So don’t be afraid of marriage. It is a wonderful bond and makes it even more wonderful so that life can be great!
Mistakes that people make while choosing a life partner
Picking a soul mate for yourself is one of the greatest choices you will ever need to make, after all in a life you need a person of your choice to spend a great time with. Choosing life partner is no joke, and a lot of things need to be considered first.
At the same time, choosing a wrong person can be disastrous. For the vast majority, the way toward picking a life partner gets to be troublesome on the grounds that they’re not certain about what they’re searching for.
In this article, we shall discuss the common mistakes people made while choosing their life partner so that you can be careful and cautious as you go on for a search. Select a life partner who is ideal for you, who comprehends you and what you require, and will give you that.
1. Giving importance to yourself:
Because they don’t see your value and treat you severely doesn’t mean you’re decreased to what they accept you.
You know yourself more than anyone does and you recognize what is your worth.
You like certain parts of yourself and there are a few things you would love to eliminate from your personality.
You need to understand that you’re the main consistent in your life. How you think, how you feel, and how you adapt when things get unpleasant are the things which matter and which will prop you up in a long term.
Begin giving yourself the time and significance that you merit.
2. Being with somebody who controls you:
When you regard and love some individual, you don’t control them. You treat them with respect, love, and care.
Being with somebody who controls you is not honestly good.
Most controllers will point the finger at you for being controlled and deceive you into feeling regretful. Try not to let them! A few people control others so shrewdly that you won’t pay heed at first.
Your life partner needs to help you develop and not pull you around mishandling you.
3. Settling too early:
You don’t hop into the sloppy water without investigation since you don’t know what will be there beneath the surface.
In like manner, you shouldn’t bounce into making deep-rooted duties without truly becoming acquainted with your partner.
You may like what you have seen of them in this way; but don’t jump into that, keep patience and find some facts about that person.
4. Settling because you think you won’t discover anybody better:
You don’t pick your family; however, you do pick your companions and the people you date.
The best companionship and connections don’t happen out of comfort, they happen in view of an exceptional relationship that exists between the people included.
Try not to settle since you think you won’t discover better. Many of you know that the one person you currently are in touch with is the last choice and you won’t be able to find anyone better than him and make quick decisions often regret a lot in their lives later.
Know your value and be with somebody who knows how one of a kind and unique you are, and who values your qualities!
5. Settling down in light of the fact that society says as much:
Many individuals feel forced to settle down with one individual by a particular age.
You need to live with your decisions, not your mom, not your relatives, and unquestionably not society.
Kindly don’t settle on some person who you’re not certain about essentially in light of the fact that you feel like it’s the correct thing to do.
Ensure you’re in the right relationship before choosing to settle down; else it could end on a sad note.
6. Being with somebody because they are gorgeous or rich:
It’s critical to consider how much cash they make since you must concede that you’re not enduring a day on the planet without a steady pay.
However, picking a life partner exclusively on the grounds that they are doing incredibly well in terms of finances says a great deal in regards to what you’re after. Money and great looks may not keep going forever.
Will you appear to be an identical way when they are old and not beautiful? Your relationship wouldn’t survive just on a decent financial status and your physical appearance.
7. Expecting that they will change over a time frame:
If you are thinking that a person will change a lot after getting into a relationship with you, it is also one of the mistakes you are making while choosing a life partner.
Don’t expect change; find a person whose choices and preferences are similar to you or at least acceptable to you.
Keep these few common mistakes in mind before you are going to make the most important choice of your life and try not to let them happen with you.
Are you in the right relationship?
Are you dating a right person? How to tell if your relationship is going anywhere? These are some of the most common questions that pop up in peoples’ minds.
For all the single people, the committed ones seem the best. And all the committed ones wish that they were single again! Can we name it as the weird circle of dating? Well, for all the people who haven’t yet met the “one” of their lives, don’t lose hope. You are about to get some of the best dating advice.
There are so many fish in the sea; you are going to get a worthy one hopefully even if you suck at fishing.
For all, who are already in a relationship; you might be wondering if s/he is the right one or not. Not to blame anybody for it; everybody thinks every tiny detail which makes them doubt their relationship a lot.
But who doesn’t want a confirmation at the end of the day? Everyone does. So are you in doubt with your relationship? Are so not sure where is this relationship going? Well, here are some signs which can make your doubts wash away.
So to answer:
How to tell if your relationship is going anywhere?
Consider the following 2 points.
You never go to be Bed Upset
This might sound so dramatic right, but this happens (only if he is the right one).
The wrong one might not give a damn and would be totally relieved to know that you are going off to sleep with all of your troubles. Well, the right person won’t do it!
What sucks in relationships is the fact that you fight at night and then you need to pretend like you don’t really care the next morning. If your partner is the right person for you, s/he won’t let you sleep until the issue is resolved.
S/he won’t let you sleep until the issue is resolved. And might stick to you like anything and annoy the breath out of you but s/he will solve it before you two doze off to sleep.
S/he always checks up on you and s/he doesn’t give you the space you need and doubts you then s/he certainly gives you no space or reason to doubt her either.
Trust is so important, right? If your partner does not trust you enough to let you hang out with your friends, I guess s/he isn’t the right one.
How it kills to see those questions storm down on you! Where were you, with whom were you and what did you do?
At the same time, s/he wants you to trust them as well and s/he obviously doesn’t give you reasons to question them. So if s/he doubts you and is a bit over the edge possessive; I guess s/he will just make your life difficult.
There are so many people out there and what do you know about the one, you are destined to meet.
Or you don’t believe in destiny, huh? Well, whoever you meet, you obviously need an evidence of whether they are good for you or not.
They won’t come with a certification, right? And you aren’t the best judge in the entire world.
This is exactly why it is said that believe in actions and not words. See how they are around you and what they are doing for you. If they seem the perfect one, then don’t let them go!
You know you are worth better and who has all that time to waste on someone who really doesn’t care?
One thing that I learned the hard way is to not settle too early. Don’t force yourself into a relationship or a marriage. See if you love your partner for who they really are.
Most of the marriages fail due to overlooking these simple things.