Whoever said dating is fun has most likely never dated a cop. While cops are civil servants that make you feel safe and protect you at all times, dating one comes with strings attached. If you have found yourself liking a cop and wondering if you should go for it, keep reading to find out 10 reasons why you should never date a cop and even if it’s worth it dating one.
Cops must serve the public but their job strongly influences their personality. This influence often makes them stressed, busy, and overprotective to the point that it may seem controlling. They work long hours and have to immediately respond to emergencies no matter what time it is. Their job and personality make dating a cop a full-time job in itself. But there are more factors that you need to understand to make a wise decision.
We closely observed such relationships to help you make a smart decision about your love life so you can become a better person and spend your time falling in love with only those who are the best for you.
10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Cop
1. They are competitive
Police officers have to undergo strict training sessions and overcome countless obstacles to succeed in their profession. It takes guts for anyone to dedicate their entire lives to protecting people.
Their line of work makes law enforcement public servants kind yet strict. They are often put in situations where they have to make the right judgment calls to protect those they have vowed to protect.
However, the tough nature of their work makes it nearly impossible for any cop not to become strict and competitive. They are conditioned to believe that they always make the right decisions and are the smartest, most clever ones in the room.
Their competitive nature makes it hard for a regular civilian to put up with them at all times. However, if the cop you are interested in finds a way to reflect and effectively control their competitive nature, you have a good shot.
Cops are rigorously trained and instructed to protect anyone in their sight. If you are in a relationship with them, their feelings of overprotectiveness are enhanced as a result of their love for you.
However, due to the nature of their work, their overprotectiveness can often become unhealthy and in some cases, even toxic. Their instinct to ward off any harm that comes your way can lead to them stopping you from many things that you would normally do, such as staying out late.
These factors can lead to frequent arguing and misunderstandings which can be dangerous for the well-being of a relationship in the long term.
There is a fine line between being protective and controlling. Controlling behavior is one of the unhealthiest behaviors exhibited by cops in their relationships. This is because they believe that the safety of their partner is their responsibility. And they do not mind being labeled controlling since they believe that they are right.
Even though their actions are well intended, they can be poorly executed which can lead to frequent arguments and bickering.
Nonetheless, controlling behavior is a major red flag for any girl since it can lead to major problems in a relationship. Their strong decision-making prevents them from consulting their partner when a mutual decision has to be made. These habits make it hard for any girl to develop a healthy, respectable long-lasting relationship with a cop.
4. They work long hours and have shifts at odd hours
On the list of reasons why you should never date a cop, this one takes the crown. A relationship is based on a strong foundation of open and sincere communication, spending adequate time with each other, and respecting each other’s decisions.
In the case of cops, they are on-call round the clock and required to respond to emergencies in their jurisdiction. This often means that they will not be able to spend a lot of time with you and cancel date nights more than once.
You will even find them performing their duty after midnight which often leaves you concerned for their safety. Their odd shifts also mean that your schedules would rarely work with each other and lead to both of you minimally interacting with each other.
If you are a patient person and you think you are capable of making a relationship work even when your partner stays too busy to spend time with you, this might not be a problem for you. However, their long hours remain one major reason why people choose not to date cops.
Cops, as a part of their jobs, have to keep secrets. Whether they are detectives working undercover or have provided updates on an operation no one knows about, secrecy is a significant part of their job.
Having to protect secrets at all times makes them generally secretive people, even outside of work. While it is essential for a cop to be secretive at their job, it can easily sabotage their relationships.
Imagine dating someone who never shares anything with you. They come home stressed and exhausted, and when you ask them about what’s going on, all you get is ‘It’s nothing’, or ‘I’m fine’.
Suppressing their secrets and emotions can also take a toll on their mental health, which can lead to numerous problems in the relationship. You feel hopeless and just as stressed as your cop partner when he is upset and there is nothing you can do to get them to open up.
You’d think that someone as secretive as a cop, would not be nosey or overly involved in your personal life because they have so many secrets of their own. However, their inquisitive nature that comes with their need to get to the bottom of every issue, makes it hard for them to respect your personal space at times.
Each relationship can only flourish if both partners respect each other’s boundaries, secrets, and personal space. From having to find out the name of every guy that has flirted with you to the details of work or family life, they need to know everything.
7. They can be passive-aggressive
Some cops exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors. This means they will go for long periods without talking to you to show that they are mad at you about something instead of openly communicating.
This can ruin a relationship in the long term because you will rarely ever know what you did that put off your partner so much. Their secretive nature and tendency to suppress their emotions instead of talking about them can lead to passive-aggressive behavior which is unhealthy for both partners.
8. Drive like they are tailing a criminal at all times
Since cops are so used to being on the streets and chasing criminals, driving recklessly fast becomes a habit for them. This is more common when they get into an argument with their partner while driving. While this is more of a habit than a personality trait, it can be quite annoying sometimes since it can lead to accidents and motion sickness.
The ironic part is that while they are guilty of driving at high speeds, they would never let you do it. As overprotective partners and officers that strictly adhere to the law, they do everything they can to keep you out of harm’s way and ensure you are following laws.
9. You will always be anxious for their safety
Dating a cop means you will have to deal with the fact that they will spend their entire lives chasing criminals and putting them behind the bars. They will spend their time protecting people and sadly, there is always a chance they can hurt themselves in the process.
Every time your partner has to rush to an ‘emergency’ that involves murders, thieves, and criminals of all kinds, you will inevitably be scared for their well-being. Spending hours without hearing from them can put you on edge, give you anxiety, and leave you fearing for their lives.
10. You will always have a target on your back
In case all the points listed above were not good enough reasons why you should never date a cop, this one definitely is. Dating a cop does not only involve having to deal with their negative personality traits and habits but can also put a target on your back.
This is because cops make enemies out of criminals. Spending your life protecting civilians from the bad guys often frustrates the bad guys themselves. Therefore, the easiest way for them to get to a cop is by threatening someone they love. So, if you get scared easily and cannot handle the pressure that comes with having to watch your back at all times, dating a cop is not for you.
11. They can be arrogant
While this is a trait that can be found in anyone, it is common for cops. Cops understand the importance of their duty and take pride in themselves for making the right decisions. However, this can often make them arrogant which is harmful to a relationship.
For a relationship to work in the long term, the couple needs to look at all situations rationally and without any bias. If your partner is arrogant and incapable of looking at his faults, the relationship is doomed.
12. You have to be cautious around cop haters
Due to a negative public image of cops, you will find most of your friends judging you for dating a cop. What they do not understand is that it is incredibly unfair to generalize the entirety of law enforcement officials as the bad guys due to the horrible actions of a few.
However, if you know that your partner is honest, loving, and does not display the red flags mentioned above, then you do not need to justify your relationship to anyone. With time, all your friends will see your partner for who he is and be more welcoming towards him.
13. They cannot be your partners in crime
While this is an obvious one, the list of reasons why you should never date a cop would be incomplete without it. Dating a law enforcement officer means they will adhere to every law in the book and expect you to do the same.
You can bid farewell to parties that allow all sorts of substances or missing a red light because your partner would never let you get away with any of these.
14. They lack financial stability
If you are looking to get married within a few months after dating, you may have to think about dating a cop. Being on a public service payroll means they cannot afford expensive housing or the fancier things in life.
So, if settling down instantly is what you want, it would not be possible since dating a cop means you are going to have to wait till you are earning enough at your job and you both have enough savings to start a family.
15. There’s no running away
Dating a cop means it is likely that your partner has easy access to your whereabouts. As creepy as it sounds, it is true. This is because they have friends in every neighborhood and taking space from him after a heated argument often means he will easily find you.
However, if you communicate your boundaries and state that you could use space, they will be more than happy to respect your decision and give it to you.
Dating is a complex part of everyone’s life. Whether you are interested in dating a cop, lawyer, doctor, or any other specialist, you will be faced with problems in your relationship. A relationship is all about processing your emotions, reflecting on your actions, and making efforts to improve yourself and resolve conflicts through clear and open communication.
While following all guidelines for a healthy relationship can be hard if you are dating a generic cop who possesses all the qualities listed above, taking your time to find the right one can certainly pay off.