First love; nothing compares to it, right? Our first love remains special, no matter what. After all, they were the ones to arise the butterflies in our stomach for the first time ever and get the heartbeat pounding as well. It is almost impossible to forget your first love and many times, that feeling never comes back.
Lucky are the ones who get to spend their entire lives with their first love. And for the ones who are unable to keep them along, in the journey of their life, usually feel heartbroken. It is not wrong to say that first love failure usually changes us. It feels like the end of the world because we haven’t really felt that special ever, until this one person seems to be our entire world and then, they just decide to walk out of our lives.
To love and to be loved, is to feel the sun from both sides -David Viscos
It seems as if we are going to die and our life has turned purposeless. But that doesn’t really happen. We live and we survive!
We are not what we become, we are what we choose to become.
Breakups hurt. It is really tough to actually love all over again when you have been hurt immensely. It seems impossible to move on. We start assuming that we won’t be able to love someone so compassionately ever again. But this is where we are wrong! We get up and we find someone new and we love all over again and we might get hurt too. However, we might never open up to love, like the way we did for the very first time.
Affection and fondness always remain an integral part of our lives. Yes, we might begin to lose our hopes for this specific emotion if our relationships don’t work or we have to face a lot of rejection. But the truth is, that as much as love can be painful; it can be one of the most beautiful feelings too.
8 Ways to get that first love feeling again
We all love again and we get into a relationship too or maybe more. But that specific spark that makes everything exciting and beautiful, seems to be missing, right? We simply assume that it won’t ever come back because that special feeling was confined until our first love. However, this is where we are wrong.
Yes, getting that first love feeling is possible and usually comes by when you meet the right person too. However, you always need to put in a little effort, to enhance a relationship and not let the spark die. Thus, here are some ways to get that first love feeling again. It is not a miracle and love is not just an emotion. It is a subconscious decision that you make daily that you love someone and you wish to keep loving them too!
Accept the Past:
Heartbreaks make you feel gloomy and sad for weeks or maybe months. Even when they are long gone, the hurt keeps kicking in time and time and over and over again. But, you can’t permit it to kick you wherever you go. You can’t carry it along with you like a toddler. I agree, it is so hard to forget it but, you cannot allow your past to be your basis of judgment, whenever you meet someone who has the potential to actually love you.
The thing is crystal clear; someone who hurt you in the past, won’t be able to offer you anything different in the future or present. Even when their thought hurts, how can they be your option at all? So let the waves come in and go out but don’t let your past define your future decisions. Accept the fact that it was your past and you can’t undo it. Embrace the pain and then let it go.
You Have Got to Trust the Universe:
You don’t know what might come up on the right turn, you are about to take. It might be stuck in traffic, you might meet up with an accident or maybe you might just end up at your place safe and sound! We are all unaware of what might happen next, right? So why do we have to figure everything out like we are the planners?
Making efforts to change your luck is determination and that is what helps you out a lot. But in terms of love; you need to trust the universe.
What if your life has some amazing plans for you? Maybe those plans have fewer heartaches and tears this time? Trust the universe and go with the flow. Never abandon yourself to emotions.
Carry the Lessons Along:
When I say dig it all in the past I don’t mean to say that forget what it taught you. Every heartache has a lesson. Even when you break up with someone on the right terms, you get to see the pros and cons of yourself and the person you were with. And that obviously teaches you some lessons.
The best way to open yourself to love again is to keep the lessons in your pocket. Never make the same mistakes again which led to your breakup. Be mature enough to understand that you also have flaws and you can make mistakes… accept it and strive to be better. Moreover, you will have a list of things that your partner did to you, that hurt. Make sure that you don’t repeat those actions in your relationship.
Don’t let it make You Bitter:
It is really easy to get negative vibes all the time when you have been hurt. It feels like every single person out there is just going to hurt you or is trying to do something awful to you. But don’t let the heartbreak do that to you.
It is easier to blame everything on the next person. You might even take out your breakup bitterness on every person you meet. What takes heart and soul is to forgive people. I might sound a minimalist though but you can also look into their reasons; maybe they left because of something or maybe they did well to you. Even when the reasons are too blurry to view at that given moment; try the power of forgiveness. Don’t let it make you bitter.
Trust in the fact that, that specific person was just not the best for you. Maybe there is someone even better out there, waiting for you. As I mentioned above, we are not what situations make us, we are what we choose to become.
Don’t shut off emotions, find that first love feeling again:
A majority of us do this; we push love away because we assume that if our first love didn’t work, nothing else will. But this is where we mess up our lives.
Looking at love with the negative eye will make life harder. How can you hate an emotion which is all about affection and fondness?
Shutting your emotions down will make you more of a bitter person with each passing day because you are trying to block a positive feeling. Day by day, you will start becoming negative and will begin hating people, for no reason. Remember, that love will always come and go. You need to learn to surf the waves rather than giving up and drowning!
Be Honest to yourself:
All we want is to blame others for the hurt. We feel like the world conspired against us, to get us away from that person. We refuse to see the other side because honestly, who cares, right? All we care about is the fact that we got hurt and the entire world could go to hell! But you need, to be honest with yourself, elsewise, you will suffer a lot.
Who went wrong? Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them and sometimes it’s both of you and sometimes the time and luck aren’t just good enough! Fears and insecurities are a great reason why a lot of couples break up these days. Just remember one thing; problems never occur from one side especially when it comes to relationships. It is always a two-sided issue, however, the contribution varies.
Be honest as to how much did you contribute to the breakup and pin them down. Accept your faults and learn from them. Get up and move onwards.
Love is a RISK; accept it:
Love never comes with a lifetime guarantee and it is always risky. Opening your feelings to someone and making them see under your skin, enter your soul and every little tiny detail of you being exposed to them is a big risk. What if they leave? The outcome is never ever guaranteed. So are you never going to love again?
Remember one thing; some risks are worth it! Sometimes the risk is what keeps you alive and makes you feel the best ever feelings of your life. Love won’t ever come with a warranty card.
Take your Time:
It’s never good to try moving on within a day or two. You need to take the time to heal. Yes, you aren’t supposed to cry for months or years. You just need to give yourself some time to feel the emotional wrecking ball. Cry your nose off, make that pillow feel sorry to be in your room, hug your teddy bear if that makes you feel better, sit on the bathroom floor wondering what went wrong and all that stuff that comes along with the “after breakup” package.
But be sure that you are not going to allow yourself to cry for years to come!
2-3 weeks is all that you need to allow yourself for healing and then move on. Don’t live for them and don’t wait for them. Embrace your life.
Pick up the broken pieces:
Heartache can be miserable. It can break you into pieces but, you need to pick those broken pieces and move on. Your soul mate is out there somewhere! And maybe this one person, who taught you what love is, wasn’t really meant for you.
LOVE is always a risk and you don’t need to find a perfect partner. Everyone is going to hurt you in life. You just need to find someone who is worth getting hurt for. Someone who means a lot to you and be sure that the sun is burning from both sides. Never let the flames of one-sided love burn you.
Open your arms to embrace love again in life because it does make life beautiful. People who have experienced the warmth of it will agree with me. Don’t close yourself to love. Let the healing process be gradual and don’t jump into another pool right away. But don’t abandon yourself from love for a lifetime.
Getting over your breakup is hard and trying to achieve that first love feeling again is also challenging. You spent so much time with them that they become an essential part of your daily routines. And one day, they are not there anymore. Those cute morning messages that made your day bright, are gone. That one meeting at the end of the week, which sparked all the positivity in you, is no more!
But this really doesn’t mean that your first love was your last too. You will love again and maybe several times before you tie the knot with the love of your life. But make sure, that you make effort to make the love last too. If you will be stuck in your past; you will ruin the beauty of this emotion.
Anyhow, every one of us has fallen in love and has faced the breakup phase as well. However, the majority moves on because that is how new couples are formed. To get that first love feeling again, you need to push yourself beyond the negativities. Stop hating the term “love” and accept the ups and downs that it has to offer.
What if your first love didn’t last? It definitely taught you a lot, didn’t it? So take the lessons and move on. Be positive and put in all efforts in your next relationship. Maybe that is your last one! And being someone’s last love is nothing but privilege because they decide to spend the rest of their lives with you.