Imagine this: lately your friend has been acting a bit cold towards you and even if you try to ignore it, you feel like the energy and level of comfort between the two of you is just not the same as before and you have started to fear that your friendship is at the risk of collapsing.
The only question you have in your mind is why are they ignoring and leaving you behind?
While we may jump to the usual “oh my god my friend hates me,” let us tell you that there are a multitude of reasons why this could happen.
Such cases are very often found in the teenage period when the two of you make new friends, have different schedules and go through that toxic high school life. Both of you don’t get enough time to spend with each other and even if you do, your friend makes up excuses to not meet you. Other reasons may include maturity, any mistakes that either of you have made, stress that is part and parcel of high school, or even a huge secret party that they’re trying to organize for you!
10 most common reasons why your friend is ignoring you:
They have a busy schedule:
One of the reasons behind your friend ignoring you could just be the possibility that they are simply busy and don’t get enough time to think about or spend with their peers.
They may have a crammed schedule with work load, their studies, or any other activities which are all amalgamating into both of you drifting away from each other without their intention to do so.
You embarrass them in public:
This may hurt you, but your friend may ignore you because you embarrass them or scar their reputation in public. Maybe you laugh a bit too much, act like a nuisance or make fun of her which has drifted her away from you.
To confirm whether this is the real problem you should observe what is bothering your friend and stop performing those acts. However, if you do happen to notice that this is the reason behind it all, then let it sink into you that they do not deserve a good friend like you and you should move on.
It may be a difficult task, but you need to realize that someone who thinks so ill of you that they get embarrassed by your actions publicly is not worth having any connections with.
You aren’t their cup of tea anymore:
This is especially true to highschool students. It is noticed that they tend to leave their middle school or childhood friends to join a popular group of friends with whose company they can have the “real high school experience”.
So yeah, this isn’t just something you see in those movies projecting the gloomy middle school to high school transition. It’s very real and it happens with a lot of us folks out there. Now again, if this is the case, then you again should leave your ‘friend’ for your own good because people who prefer popularity over old friendships are not worth any sort of connection by you.
They are in a relationship with someone:
Do you feel like your friend is ignoring you and you want to know the reason why? It may be because they have stepped into the world of love with someone and undoubtedly, want to spend more and more time with them. This obviously leaves very little time for you to them, but to be honest, this is something normal considering the rush that love gives you initially.
It is the most common act to change your priorities when you are in a relationship so this must have happened with your friend as well. It will probably stop after a while, but if it doesn’t, your best bet is to talk to them about it and resolve the conflict like civilized people.
You both are different sexes:
If you and your friend have different genders, then this can also be a possible reason for the barrier creating between the two of you. It is a natural phenomenon that men and women go through a lot of changes during their puberty and the same might have happened with your friend too. This difference in gender may drift you both a bit away from each other but not necessarily break your friendship. If the friend in question is a guy, they may be more interested in hanging out with their teammates from the basketball team.
And that is honestly, very valid of them. If you are really affected by it, then you should give talking it out a shot. Maybe it can help to work things out.
They maybe moving to a different place:
One of the saddest reasons due to which your friend might be ignoring you is that they are leaving your hometown and starting their life elsewhere. This must be a hard step for them to take and they would want to leave all the beautiful memories with you behind so that they won’t feel lonely or miss you afterwards. The reason why they are ignoring you instead of breaking the news to you could be because they are not ready to face you yet, or are unsure of how to tell you and the way you’ll react.
In such a case, let things flow at their own pace. Once they break the news to you, try to act as normal and supportive as possible because your friend will need it all before stepping into this new chapter of their lives.
They are stressed:
Another reason why your friend may be ignoring could be because they are stressed or mentally disturbed and that is why they are avoiding you. When a person is anxious or depressed, this is a common sign that they start avoiding the public and prefer seclusion.
If you think that this is a possible cause of them ignoring you, then you must try to help them out with their problems and prove that you are a good friend. Talk it through with them, listen to them, and offer your love and support like you should as a friend. Let them know that no matter what difficulty they encounter in their life, you are always going to have their back so they don’t have to keep things from you.
You haven’t met in person for a long time:
If you haven’t met up with your childhood friend for a long time and now they are ignoring you, it is possible that their interests and personality has changed with the passing time and they are a totally different person than they were before. Distance causes a lot of damage, and it may have done some in your case too.
The energy between the two of you might not match and you may even feel a bit awkward in their company. It is also possible that they do the short talk with you and you guys stop engaging with each other through messages as well.
What you may want to do is reach out to them and perhaps plan a day out so you can try to rebuild what has been lost.
They are having a secret party for you:
If we look on the lighter side of things, one of the positive reasons your friend is ignoring you may be because they are planning something on your birthday for you and want to give you a big surprise. If you think that this is the most possible reason then it is better to not bother them and be ready for the surprise.
They are angry at you and want you to realize your mistake:
If you and your friend have never stayed apart from each other and now you feel like they are completely avoiding and ignoring you all of a sudden, then it is possible that they are mad at you and upset for some reason.
If you guys have had a quarrel before, then this might be the reason for the coldness between the two of you. It is best to sit down and talk it all out in this case as soon as possible so any further misconceptions may be avoided.
What can you do if your friend is not talking to you?
If you find yourself in any of the situations listed above, obviously you will want to know in-depth what to do about it.
Talk to them and tell them how you feel:
Having ups and downs in friendships is something normal and everyone goes through them. However, breaking the bond under the effect of emotions between the two of you is never a solution.
If you think your friend may have grown distant from you because you haven’t met in so long, then you should simply just meet and tell them how you feel about the whole situation and how much you miss their presence. Surely, your friend will understand their importance in your life and mend the bond once again.
If you had a quarrel with them earlier, then you should apologize to them if you made a mistake as well.
Get the hint and leave them be:
If your friend is showing their cold side to you no matter how hard you try to get closer to them, then it is time to make an end to your friendship. This might be a bit heart-wrenching and upsetting to you but there is no point in longing for people who don’t want you in their lives. There are plenty of beautiful people out there who would love to be your friend so smile big and move on.
Discuss the problem with their loved ones:
If you think that something is bothering your friend and they are not having the best of their days, then you should firstly try to make an effort to help them out and if you feel that you are not able to do anything for them then you should consult their family and share your friend’s problem with them.
Maybe their family knows what the real problem is and can help them out with it.
Try to find out if you are the problem:
If you feel like your friend is ignoring you no matter how hard you try to get noticed and close to them, then there is a possibility that you are the actual reason why they don’t talk to you anymore.
Try to observe what you have done with them in the near past that could’ve wreaked this havoc in your relationship. If you are the one who has hurt them in any way, then you should apologize right away and tell them how bad you feel for making them upset. You should also try to focus on yourself and make yourself a better human and person.
After taking a look at the possible reasons behind your friend ignoring you, you must have gotten to know the root of the problem in your situation, and also what to do about it. You should now try your best to mend the bond between the two of you and resume with your friendship. Try to make yourself a better person and also make the first move to improve your relationship with your friend.
If you are trying your best and still feel like nothing is working for the two of you then this is the sign to say goodbye and leave your friend alone. Anyhow, there is no point in lingerie with someone who doesn’t want you to be there with you.
Cheer up, you still have loads of great friends who love your company and would really like to stick with you through good and bad times.