5 Differences between Attachment and Real Love

So what is the difference between love and affection? Do you question yourself when you say that you have fallen in love with someone? Do you think for a split second that is you in love with them for real or is it just attachment? Do you think ” Does she love me? Does he love me?

The majority of people break up because they mistake attachment as love. And then obviously, we blame love. Why don’t we blame the way we love these days? We probably don’t know the actual meaning of real love even.

Differentiating real love and attachment can be hard but it isn’t impossible.

Difference between love and affection

So I am here to help you out. Don’t you think that I am becoming more of your daily therapist now? Anyways, let’s get down to discussing the difference between love and attachment before you mistake someone affection as love. Shall we?

1. Love is Selfless but Attachment can be Selfish:

When you are in love, all you care about is making your partner feel great. The entire world can just go to hell for you. It is not about arguing all the time or scoring the best.

You don’t even blackmail each other emotionally; it all comes down to selfless love and understanding.

On the other hand, when you are attached to someone, you focus on how they can make you feel happy and glee. You don’t think of ways to make the other one happy.

You try controlling your partner which really doesn’t love. You also get frustrated with them if they do anything to disrupt your peace and happiness.

2. Love brings in Liberation:

When someone loves you, they allow you to be yourself. This way you won’t be afraid of opening up your fears to them. A mutual understanding and trust develop within you both which brings in liberation and doesn’t control you.

As mentioned above, attachment brings in a controlling attitude. You are going to ask your partner to not hang out with his/her friends or try playing mind games with them. This is merely attachment. Don’t consider it as love.

3. Real Love Supports Growth; Attachment Stops it:

Real love brings in growth and you and your partner grow together. You both work hard and bring in efforts to become the best versions of you.

Cutting the long story short, you both stimulate growth and encourage each other to do so.

Attachment doesn’t allow you to grow and restricts you from a lot of opportunities. You don’t resolve your issues in the right manner and this doesn’t bring peace to your mind as well.

You are always distracted which doesn’t allow you to grow.

4. Attachment is not Long Lasting, Love Is:

A real love survives through the struggles and reaches the “forever together” destination. True lovers understand each other and make their best to work out situations in the right manner.

Even if you break up, they hold a special place in your heart and aren’t able to move on too quick.

If you are just attached to someone, you won’t make an effort to let things work out. You also betray them because you are not in love with them.

Attachment is timely whereas real love lasts longer. The sooner you get tired of loving someone, the more chances are that it was just attachment, which you took as love.

It is better to break off (by telling the truth) so that you both can settle down on good terms ASAP.

5. Love Reduces Ego:

You become less self-centered when you fall in love. It’s not like you don’t love yourself anymore (that is really important) but you consider your partner’s happiness as well.

You feel good if you do something the way they want you to do it. You don’t make it an issue of your ego. You both share your weaknesses, strengths and communicate with your heart and mind.

On the other hand, attachment makes you more egoistic. It all comes down to you and your happiness.

You really don’t care what your partner wants and if he/she fails to bring you satisfaction and happiness; you don’t consider them good enough.


It is wonderful to be important to someone or to be loved.

But affection is not always loved; sometimes it is the just timely attachment which must remain till attachment.

Don’t stretch it into a relationship because it would never work. Being friends can remain that way.

Don’t consider taking your attachment into a full-time relationship because it might bring an end to a wonderful friendship. And you wouldn’t want that right?

Don’t mistake affection for love!

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