INFJs! Even though they’re serious and reserved on the outside, they’re usually bursting with personality and enthusiasm on the inside!
Represented by people such as Adolf Hitler, Taylor Swift, and J.K. Rowling, the INFJ is one of the rarest personalities in the world.
The INFJ personality type or the Advocate personality is one of the introverted personality types from the Diplomats group of the 16 personalities as described by the Myers-Briggs Indicator and Carl Jung’s personality theory.
INFJs are highly intuitive people who are constantly trying to make their lives as purposeful as possible.
They are shy, creative, and peace-loving individuals who try to find a deeper meaning in everything they see.
They’re deeply attuned with their feelings and automatically assess the mood of those around them.
With a curious mind, they ponder over the happenings of the world and the lives of the people around them.
If they’re sitting on a park bench, they’re most like people- watching and making up stories for people as they go along, or trying to figure out what everyone’s lives might look like.
However, there’s a lot more to INFJs than that.
And while an entire personality cannot be fully described in a few words, keep on reading to find out more about INFJ’s strengths, weaknesses, relationships, and work habits.
Personality traits of an INFJ
A person’s personality type (aka INFJ-A/T) is essentially an acronym for their preferences in 5 different aspects of life which make up their personality.
These aspects are mind, energy, nature, tactics, and identity. Each of these aspects has 2 categories.
Mind– The mind trait describes how we engage and interact with our environment. This can either be Extroverted (E) or Introverted (I).
Energy- The energy trait describes how we view the world and process it, which is either Observant (S) or Intuitive (N).
Nature- The nature trait describes how we deal with our emotions and make decisions. The nature trait is either described as Feeling (F) or Thinking (T).
Tactic- The tactic trait describes how we tackle our daily tasks and can either be Prospecting (P) or Judging (J).
Identity- The identity trait describes our overall confidence in our abilities and decisions. The identity trait can either be Assertive (A) or Turbulent (T) and varies in every individual.
In INFJs these preferences are introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging.
Now let’s take a closer look into each of these traits tell us about the INFJ personality type.
INFJs are introverted by nature which means that they expel energy in social settings rather than getting energized by them.
INFJs recharge by spending time in solitude, doing whatever they love,, or whatever seems the most relaxing to them at the moment!
If an INFJ is forced to socialize with people for a little too long, they’ll start to get very anxious and stressed out.
And if they can’t leave at the moment, they’ll go to the most reserved spot they can find to avoid any further interactions with people.
However, even though these personalities cherish their alone- time, they still prefer to spend a lot of their time around people they’re close to- which might usually be a small group of 3.
INFJs who have grown very close to someone might even be okay spending their alone- time in the general presence of that person.
This trait plays a major role in an INFJ’s personality as they’re constantly looking for patterns in everything around them, especially in human nature.
They often get hyper-fixated on how certain people might think, what makes every person unique, why people do things a certain way etc.
Their minds are wired very strategically and this also allows them to bring a certain level of open-mindedness along with a high level of intelligence to their conversations and workplace.
However, even in everyday life, their intuition usually distracts them by something small and tries to uncover everything they can about it at the moment.
By having the feelings trait, INFJs prefer to focus on their feelings and their values when it comes to making decisions rather than looking at it from a logical standpoint.
Apart from that, this trait makes INFJs very empathetic towards other people, often to the point of confusing other people’s feelings for their own.
INFJs also have a strong desire to instill in a sense of harmony in everything they touch.
This trait implies that INFJs prefer to work in a more structured environment. They want to make lists, plan out their days, and know exactly how they’re going to get something done.
Even when it comes to relationships or friendships, they don’t like a lot of unpredictability and prefer to have an idea of what their lives are going to be like in the future.
Strengths of an INFJ
Deep and intellectual thinkers
INFJs may be selective about the things they give their attention to, however, the things that do grab their attention, get their full attention.
They also tend to think very deeply about their lives and the lives of those around them.
That’s why most INFJs are very interested in subjects like philosophy where they really get to ponder over the deeper meaning behind everything.
Whether it’s a piece of art or the journey of a honey bee’s life; once they’re invested in it, they’ll try their best to understand everything they can about it.
All in all, this contributes to their vast knowledge that interrelates everything they learn and spots patterns to form connections in things they might already know.
INFJs aren’t the best when it comes to verbal communication. Even though they have a lot to say, they usually just can’t seem to get their words across properly; without the awkward ‘ums’ and ‘ohs’.
However, when it comes to writing, they get the time to process these thoughts and put them in a better sequence which isn’t only understandable but is quite interesting to read.
So while an INFJ might not tell you vocally how much you mean to them, they’re very likely to write you a romantic letter or poetry that conveys that message instead.
Committed to doing the right thing
INFJs are people who are drawn to the right thing. They have a strong moral compass that’s determined to do the right thing in life and have a positive impact on whoever they meet.
They’re the kind of people to forget their shy nature and stand up to bullies when they witness injustice.
They’ll often stop what they’re doing to help those in need. They just constantly need to do some good in the world so they’re not perceived as ‘bad’ people.
Can charm anyone into a conversation
Most of us don’t see ourselves completely opening up to our first dates, or strangers in the park or someone in front of us in a fast-food waiting line.
However, if that person is an INFJ, chances are, 10 minutes into the conversation, you might be getting a free therapy session or simply spilling all your secrets.
INFJs just have this ability to make people feel so comfortable around them that they open up almost instantly about their burdens and joys, sadness and fears, etc.
Often, in such conversations, INFJs won’t say much about themselves, however, because they are such good listeners, they won’t make the person feel awkward under the spotlight in the conversation either.
Most people leave such conversations feeling almost relieved and like they want to engage with the INFJ again.
Whether the INFJ will want to engage with you again or not, on the other hand, is a completely different story!
Value beauty and quality
When it comes to investments and the things they use to fill up their surrounding spaces, INFJs will always pick quality over quantity.
Most INFJs don’t need much as they tend to be minimalists, but the things they have around them need to be of good quality.
This reflects how they take care of themselves as well. On most days, INFJs will be very well-groomed, make sure they smell and look good, not for others, but more so for their satisfaction.
Weaknesses of an INFJ
Can easily detach from reality
Even though INFJs can be present in the moment, if and when their intuition goes into overdrive, they’re immediately get detached from reality.
Instead, they can be sucked into their deep inner abstract world that gets hyper fixated on a particular thing in their surroundings.
Would rather wait for inspiration to strike than actively search for it
INFJs like to over plan everything in their lives because they want to avoid having to do redundant tasks and skip on the chaos.
So when it comes to doing work of any sort, rather than sitting there and spending hours trying to figure it out at the moment, INFJs like to have everything pre-planned in their minds, ready to convert to action.
Oftentimes they’ll wait for inspiration to strike, rather than actively look for it or put the effort in searching for an amazing idea.
Stubborn when their ideas are questioned
INFJs are big planners and tend to be very future-oriented.
They often have a very set in place mind of what they want their lives to look like, or how they want to go about doing something.
When that is challenged by other people, who claim to have a better idea, it can be quite frustrating to an INFJ and they’ll often refuse to listen. Because in their minds, their way is the best as they’ve carefully thought it out.
Even though what they think they’ve thought out is really just their intuition which can is sometimes only as accurate as a blind guess!
When their intuition is wrong, it’ll bite them in the ass
INFJs rely heavily on their intuition for everything, so when there’s an error in their judgment or their trust is misplaced, they can often come crashing down, question all of their choices and be very very hard on themselves for it as well.
They need to realize that sometimes, focusing on facts rather than just gut feelings and guesses can be more beneficial to them.
Don’t speak up for themselves
Most INFJs struggle to stand up for themselves in unfamiliar social settings or sometimes even around people they know because they don’t want to cause any inconvenience to others.
They’re such people-,pleasers, that they think by raising their voices in their defense, it might offend others or put INFJs in a negative light.
Even when they do end up standing up for themselves, they tend to overthink a lot and doubt their decision to do so.
Losing touch with their true selves
Although INFJs are very good at mirroring people’s emotions and empathizing with them if they do this a lot they can lose sight of their true selves.
INFJs’ ability to change little things in their behaviors to fit in with the people around them makes them get along very well with people.
However, there comes a point where INFJs are not able to differentiate that from their true selves.
INFJS in Relationships and Friendships
First meetings with an INFJ
Most INFJs are very selective about the people they let into their lives.
So, first meetings are usually pretty one-sided in terms of how much you actually get to know about an INFJ (which is practically nothing) vs, compared to all the information they can gather about you.
You should know that when INFJs enter a room or start a conversation with someone, they’re immediately able to pick up on people’s moods.
This can both be a negative and a positive trait depending on the environment they’re in.
However, it does make INFJs very in tune with the emotions of those around them and very empathetic
Prefer one on one interactions rather than group settings
INFJs communicate better with people on a one to one basis, whether that’s with a partner or with a friend.
INFJs won’t bother with casual relationships or acquaintances because a personality that’s so selective about the people it lets in, wants those few relationships with the selected number of people to last, a very long time.
Will take their time to open up to you
Although it will take them a while to open up to you, because they need to know that they can really trust you, once they decide to let you in, you’ll be introduced to the wonder that lies behind the shy and reserved persona.
They crave emotional intimacy more than anything else in a relationship.
So in conversations, they want to get under the surface of small talk and get to know everything about you and where your passions lie.
Will be a part of your ups and downs
INFJs often end up sharing in people’s burdens and happiness equally.
If you’re happy and excited, they’ll radiate the same energy, and if you’re anxious or stressed, they’re very likely to get stressed and anxious, with you.
Although this helps you feel more understood, it can be a burden on them if they’re surrounded by too much negative energy.
Essentially, they are very sensitive souls who should spend time around people that radiate positivity and positive vibes for the sake of their mental health.
They are highly perceptive of you
In a relationship, INFJs will probably be able to determine your emotions in seconds. They’ll be very good at spotting your off moods, or when you’re hiding something, or even when you’re lying to them.
This can be a little creepy sometimes however, they take a genuine interest in getting to know you exactly as you are and loving you for it.
Need their alone time
As with all introverts in relationships, INFJs need a break from spending time around you.
This has nothing to do with you and more to do with the fact that they are tired of absorbing other people’s energy and need some time to decompress and recharge.
When it comes to problems you might have, an INFJ is often one of the best listeners because ake their time to process what you’re saying then respond appropriately. They understand when their advice is needed and when a simple hug is more than enough.
Even if they know the direction you should be going in, they’ll give you the space to make your own decision at the end of the day.
INFJs At Work
When it comes to work, an INFJ is determined to bring about a change in humanity with whatever it is that they choose to do.
They want to improve people’s lives and are constantly working towards bettering humanity.
They prefer to work in an environment where they feel like they’re actively contributing to that change.
INFJs are eager to share their ideas and knowledge about a certain work task. Even though, they might not always get this across very well through their words, once they learn to develop their communication skills, they feel a alot of fufilment by contributing their ideas.
Even though most INFJs love being part of a group and find it easier to follow along with what everyone else is doing, when it comes to completing tasks, they truly thrive with a bit of independance.
This is because they have so much going on in their heads and so many thoughts running around, that they are able to figure things out best when they’re simply left by themselves
INFJs take great pride in doing well in their work and are very sensitive to criticism.
So any criticism that comes from other personalities sends them sends them into a deeper hole of self critique because they take it very personally rather than looking at it from a purely professional, logical standpoint.
When it comes to working with people, they are very good at judging their decisions and can help people see their blind spots.
INFJs are love creating systems out of abstract things and bringing some sort of an order to chaos.
Even in careers like psychologist of consellor, INFJs take people’s abstract problems and simplify them to provide a solution.
Do you recognise these signs in anyone in your life? If you do, chances are, they’re an INFJ!
And if you know an INFJ, remember to shine the spotlight on them every now and then. Because they’ll be so focused on you, its up to you to recognise their low times and simply let them know that you’re willing to listen and help in any way you can!