Being a hopeless romantic is all about fantasizing about love and admiring the idea of love. They daydream and become emotionally impacted through love movies and songs. Above all, the modern dating system doesn’t really suit them. They would prefer someone to chase after them and fight for them, rather than just sleeping over after being drunk at a party.
Realists are quite the opposite. They won’t like it if their partner is being impulsive. They refuse to express their feelings clearly and hate pushing things quickly through. These people like to take things slowly. They analyze their situation before making any decision and their relationships tend to get very boring over time.
The stark differences in ideologies and approaches can spell relationship problems if a hopeless romantic ever gets involved romantically with a realist.
If your partner is a hopeless romantic and you are a realist, there is a huge probability that you won’t be happy.
Because you will always blame your partner for jumping in too quickly and “taking things too fast” or being impulsive when that person is only being themselves. A typical hopeless romantic.
But its just the base line and there’s so much more to it… So let’s figure out your personality.
4 signs to help you decide whether you’re a hopeless romantic or a realist
Here are some comparisons between the major telltale signs a hopeless romantic or a realist might have:
Fantasy vs Rationality:
One major difference between realists and hopeless romantics is that one lives in tandem with reality, while the other lives in fantasies.
- Realists are just rational people. They know that the world can be a cruel place to live in. They realize they can get their hearts broken, so they don’t keep their expectations too high like a hopeless romantic would.
- They design and execute everything they might do. They settle on choices and don’t pay heed to wonders and miracles. They know that hard work is the only way to make things work.
Don’t get us wrong though, they do believe in luck. But they believe that luck comes with hard work. And there is no other way around that.
You’re more than likely to be a hopeless romantic however, if:
- You find yourself crushing under the burden of harsh realities of the world, you tend to escape it through one of your favorite romantic movies, songs, and books. You find yourself going back to these romantic art forms; rooting for great chemistry between the leads and adore the simple romantic ideas described in them.
- You look at a couple who is too cute to handle and you begin envisioning yourself being with your accomplice a similar way.
- Similarly, you obsess with old couples and wish to grow old with someone you love! You continue to consider how the couple would make some extraordinary memories together. You envy how that one old couple would have been wholly dedicated to one another through thick and thin and wish the same for yourself. You get obsessed with them!
Thinking ahead of time vs a measured and planned love life:
Here’s another major hopeless romantic pointer:
Does your crush keep changing on a daily basis?
You saw a cute guy/girl out on the street, and now they’re the love of your life?
When you do find someone, do you find yourself to be heavily invested in the relationship?
And while you are at it, do you quite quickly envision your life with your crush or partner, such includes fantasizing about your wedding day?
If your answer to all of these questions is in the affirmative, then congratulations, you are a certified hopeless romantic.
Similarly, if you’re a hopeless romantic, it is very likely that you have the following traits:
- You take love, and your love life real seriously. As in you find yourself constantly affected by it. If you’re single, it is likely to be a huge cause for concern to you. If you’re committed, you’re elated and you always find your mind drifting towards being with your significant other.
- You not only believe in love, but also tend to fall into its trap quickly. You ensure that your feelings are conveyed to your significant other properly and you are constantly anxious to hear what they feel like.
- You find yourself often placing a great deal of weight on the opinion of your partner.
Realists, on the other hand, don’t just jump into a relationship.
They don’t actively seek out crushes and relationships, simply because either it doesn’t bother them, or it doesn’t bother them half as much as it bothers hopeless romantics.
When they do come across the possibility of a relationship:
- They make sure to figure out certain things before doing so, thus their experience lacks spontaneity and is well designed and looked after. This may make their relationship pretty boring and stale.
- They like to be more emotionally stable first before they can jump into anything and thus there is no “surprise element” in their relationships.
This key difference in approaches is one that’s fairly easy to recognize and can help you decide whether you, or someone you know, is a hopeless romantic or a realist.
Being easy to date vs. Keeping your guard up:
Another key difference lies in how your partner perceives you as.
Do they comment on how easy adjusting into the relationship has been, or do they tell you that it seems like you have walls around you? Allow us to explain:
- Hopeless romantics are very easy to date, they initiate things and are likely to be the first to reach out. If you want communication and attention in a relationship, find yourself a hopeless romantic. Though they care about not getting their heart broken, they don’t find themselves being held back by it.
- They believe that communication is the key for a healthy relationship to carry on. They don’t feel embarrassed about texting frequently and are always looking for ways to do so.
- They look out for their partner, and try to cater to their needs and base their lifestyle around them.
Well, for all the effort hopeless romantics put in, they expect some returns and so it has its pitfalls. Their efforts might mess them up when you, their potential partner, neglect to pay attention to them and fail to keep up with the daily need for communication and attention.
Realists, on the other hand:
- Are quite pessimistic about the idea of love as a whole, and not only do they refuse to approach someone who might have caught their eye, but they always use a measured approach when in a relationship.
- Not overly attached, not overly disinterested is their mantra.
- They refuse to let their hopes get high because they are too scared of getting their heart broken by someone. Thus, they are likely to wait and look for absolute confirmation of someone liking them back.
- At the same time, realists never let their guard down and are likely to forestall problems before they arise.
While this may be good on its own; finding problems and preventing them turning into huge misunderstandings certainly has its downside.
They may tend to jump to conclusions and overthink that would otherwise mean nothing.
Believing in soulmates:
Another difference between realists and hopeless romantics lies in the fact that one doesn’t believe in the concept of soulmates, while the other is heavily invested in it.
- Are quick to develop an infatuation with someone. Even though it might last for only a short period, they find their way out through another major crush. Sounds flirty? Well, one might call them so but we see it as a major sign of being a hopeless romantic.
- Fall in love too fast and as soon as the spark seems to be dying, they become agitated in that relationship and find a way out, to begin with, another love.
- They actually don’t fall in love but they get crushes all the time. BUT when they fall in love for real, nothing is breaking them apart from that person.
Realists, on the other hand:
- Do not subscribe to the concept of soul mates.
- Find it hard to trust anyone quickly. They make sure to take their time before deciding who to spend their life with. Quite surprisingly, they may choose to try out many relationships before settling for one.
- Make sure to analyze what exactly they are in for, like the thought of spending a long time with someone sends a shiver down their spine. Their anxiety pushes you to always look for someone better, someone worth it. However, when they see that things can work around easily, you try to give in their best.
If you find this following equation cute. Chances are you are a hopeless romantic. But that’s not to say all mathematicians are realists. It goes more than that.
When it comes to simple definitions: a hopeless romantic is someone who loves the idea of being in love, fantasizes about it and its fairy-tale entwined possibilities.
Whereas, a realist is someone who is skeptical about the idea of love and questions its mere existence.