What to do when a guy texts you after a long time?: May sound like a once in a blue moon type of thing, but getting a text from a guy from the past is not as uncommon as you think.
However, no matter how common it may be, you may still get confused about how to act in such a situation when you’re put under it.
Inspiring your journey, one story at a time. #LifeFalcon.
Blast from the past, as we call it today.
And truly, the chaos and whirlwind of emotions that such a situation brings with it can be very overwhelming and you may not be able to determine what path to take. Should I ghost? Or reply?
These questions and many others may arise in your head, so when you get that one notification whether it may be from an old friend or one whom you had a soft spot for, and you don’t know what to do, this article is your cup of tea.
Table of Content
Keep your calm
Perhaps the very first that you need to do when a guy texts you after a long time is to stay calm.
There is no need to get flustered with your emotions and say something that you might regret saying in the near future.
It goes without saying that such an experience is definitely going to be extremely awkward and confusing to deal with.
But if you take a step back from it all, take a deep breath, and recollect your thoughts, you are going to be able to reply in a civilized and accurate manner.
There is no need to get scared, he is not going to eat you up. No need to get angry all of a sudden because getting rude to someone without even hearing out what they have to say is just going to make you look like the bad guy.
Whatever emotion you may be feeling, you need to calm it down and set it aside for a second before you go on to replying to him.
Taking a haphazard step and sending a risky text can make you seriously regret it later.
Where does he stand in your life?
Not clearly knowing what he is when this guy at hand reaches out to you can be a serious issue for you.
When you get such a text, there is no obligation to reply to him immediately.
It can be quite confusing and frustrating for you to understand your course of action.
Sit back and think about where this guy stands in your life and what he means to you.
He may mean a lot to you, or maybe nothing at all to you. If you identify who he is to you, you will be able to easily set certain boundaries in your conversation.
This will do more good than you think. Simply put, considering your raw relationship, he most likely won’t cross the boundaries you set and alas, you’re safe!
Moreover, now you can easily hear him out without giving him any suggestive hints.
Making everything clear beforehand won’t just help you keep things less awkward, but will also keep you safe from getting hurt.
Give him a chance to explain himself
Perhaps if things between the two of you didn’t end so well, he may have worked on himself and wants to get back together with you.
Or if you guys were friends and your friendship was ruined because of something he did, he might want to apologize to you and make things right again.
If such is the case you may want to give him the chance to explain himself.
However, only if you’re comfortable enough to do it.
It’s always better to give the other person a chance to explain their side before you get all aggressive and defensive.
Perhaps things really have changed and he’s sorry for his actions.
Or he wants to mend your friendship.
There’s no better way to know except for letting him speak for himself.
His change of feelings and demeanor may even make you want to think of a better life with him, whether as friends or more.
Listening to his feelings might compel you to start afresh with him.
However, keep your distance
A guy left your side due to whatever reason, and now he’s suddenly in your DMS, you need to stay vigilant.
It’s not always the case that he has the purest of intentions with you.
Some people are low enough to seek revenge and this is one way that they might choose to do so.
Stay neutral when you talk to him so he doesn’t get any impression that you don’t want him to get.
Be careful as to everything you say to him and how you reply to his texts.
Giving him information about yourself that doesn’t concern him is just going to put you at risk for trouble.
Be smart with how you talk, how much you talk, and what you talk about.
Don’t overshare
Not talking to someone for a long time can turn the two of you into strangers.
The same will be the case with you two when you get his text after a long time.
Now, do you go around leaking your personal information to random strangers? No, right?
Then you should follow the same course of action with your blast from the past as well.
Whatever you decide to tell him is what he’s going to know and what you don’t, he won’t know too.
You don’t know about his intentions and motives with you.
He could misuse your information as well.
Other than this, it’s pretty obvious that when you talk to a person after ages, it’s like talking to a stranger.
We don’t know why he’s back and what he wants from you as of yet, so you should carefully test the waters before you decide to tell him more about yourself.
Don’t try to nose into his life
Since it is not appropriate for you to immediately let him into your life, he definitely wants the same. Just because he has reached out to you after a long time, doesn’t mean that you have suddenly gained the right to pry into his personal life.
Give him space and don’t interrogate him about what he’s been up to, how he has been doing without you, and who has been in his life ever since you left it.
All of these questions won’t just make him extremely awkward and embarrassed, but will also put your relationship in a threatening position as things will get too awkward to take forward even if that’s what’s required.
Sit back and observe
Just because he is the one who has texted you after a long time doesn’t mean that he is going to be comfortable being upfront and straightforward with what he wants to say to you.
Perhaps he feels embarrassed to reach out to you if he was the one who made a mistake, or perhaps he thinks you are still angry at him for his actions, and talking to you would just not be the easiest for him.
Having the guts to reach out doesn’t mean that he has the confidence to share all his deepest feelings with you.
He might feel vulnerable and afraid of rejection or an adverse reaction from you which is putting him off from being open with you.
That is why you need to sit back and see how he is acting with you.
Perhaps he is dropping hints that he’s otherwise not confident enough to say out aloud.
Whatever the case may be, simply observing the situation by seeing how he acts talking to you, his tone, his replies, his questions can all help you to understand his motives better and hence can make it easier for you to decide how and what to talk about with him.
Acting according to the signals he’s sending will save you and him both from extreme embarrassment.
Reply smartly
When a guy texts you after a long time, it is entirely up to you to decide how and where you want the conversation to head.
This is why you need to make sure that you don’t reply to any of his texts before thinking twice.
It is upon you to decide in what direction you want the whole ordeal to go, and then you have to act accordingly.
That’s why we stress upon having a one on one session with yourself where you ask yourself what this guy means to you, do you want to mend things with him, and where do you want this patch up to go.
Once you are clear about all these things, then you can easily talk to him how you want.
For instance, if he is your ex, but you want things to get right between the two of you, then you need to be welcoming, affectionate, and even apologetic if the fault was on your end.
But on the other hand, if you don’t want to reconnect with him for any reason, you should reply sternly from the beginning, make your boundaries clear to him, and after hearing him out, you can leave the conversation if you want.
Ask him directly
If you find the whole hint dropping and awkward conversations too much of a drag and don’t have that sort of time to waste, you can also try to directly talk to him about what’s going on.
Ask him about his motives and why has he suddenly decided to hit you up. Perhaps he can give you a clear answer and that can help you talk to him more properly. Or not talk at all.
If you get uncomfortable, end it
Whether it’s because the both of you ended on a bad note, or just the tone in which the guy texts you, if you feel the slightest degree of discomfort and awkwardness in the conversation, don’t miss a beat before distancing yourself.
You never know what could this guy’s intentions be with you and if they’re the purest or not, hence it’s important to quickly take the hint when you feel like something fishy is going on and end the conversation with him.
Moreover, if the both of you ended on a bad equation, then you may feel awkward in talking to the guy after so long, even if his intentions with you are pure.
Whatever case it may be, discomfort means that you have to distance yourself from him immediately.
Keep yourself under control
When a person from the past resurfaces in your DMS, your reactions may vary on a large scale.
The emotions you may feel can greatly differ from each other, and may sometimes be so confusing that you might not understand how to deal with them and may end up taking a step that does not prove to be so wise.
Whether it is anger, surprise, sadness, nostalgia, or happiness that you feel when a guy texts you after a long time, it is best to hold your horses before you take any step.
One bad move and you could ruin the conversation and your stance entirely. If you are angry at him, then you may lash out at him when you see his texts without even hearing him out.
If you are happy that he texted, you might get too welcoming, and sometimes that can be dangerous also.
So whatever the case may be, it is best to keep your feelings in control because if you are in control of yourself, only then can you carry the conversation forward in whatever manner that is required.
Don’t agree to meet so quickly
Understood that we live in a world where dates, get-togethers, reunions, family dinners are all planned online, but when it comes to a guy texting you after a long time, you need to take all possible steps to keep yourself safe in case of danger.
We never know someone’s intentions and motives, for all we could know, the guy could be an acne murderer now, devising to kill you.
So you need to be extremely careful.
Take some time to completely understand him before you agree to meet him. It is extremely crucial to understand the other person’s intentions first and then take things a step forward.
Phone a friend
We might not always take their advice, but there’s no one who knows us better than our gal pals.
If you are close enough to your girlfriends and they know the guy in question, then they are great people to turn to when you are confused about your course of action with him.
After all, who knows, they might give you some advice that for once, you might not be able to resist.
Follow your gut
It is undoubted that after a few people who are close to you, there is no one except for you who is familiar with every inch of you.
You surely do know what you want from every situation the best, and when you don’t want to pursue someone.
Hence it is best to keep an ear out for what your gut says in any situation.
If in the back of your mind you think that pursuing this guy isn’t the best thing to do, then it’s best to listen to it and cut off your connection with the guy.
But if your heart says that talking to him can open new doors for you, then surely go for it.
Don’t jump to conclusions
Receiving a text message like this can surely kickstart a series of reactions and thoughts in your head.
It is very possible that you don’t take a minute before you start jumping to conclusions.
Oh, he texted me because he wants to get together with me!
Oh, he has texted me because he must be sorry for his mistakes!
He texted me because he is willing to use me!
Your thoughts are valid, but what’s not valid is jumping to conclusions without listening to the other side of the story.
To conclude
Whether it is an old flame, a friend whom you grew distant from, or a random guy who clicked with you at a bar years back, receiving a message from a guy after a long time can put in action a series of thoughts and confusions in your head.
You might not initially understand what to do with this guy and it might even get frustrating, but it’s best to keep your calm, think positively and smartly, and do what you think is best.
