We all know how hard it is to sit around waiting for replies from a guy. To understand whether he is taking hours to reply because he has been busy or he was just avoiding you is like staring down the bottom of a barrel. But how you react to the situation makes all the difference.
Typing out a text is not a time-consuming activity. So if a guy takes hours to text you, it is best to wait at least an hour before texting him yourself. While some guys are just lazy, absent-minded, or busy, they need to know that making you wait for hours for a text is not okay either. However, every guy is different and has varying reasons for replying late, which is why it is important to understand the context of the situation to choose the best course of action.
You need to take a step back and think about what kind of a guy he is and what could be the reason he took hours to text you. To help you through this dilemma (and ensure you don’t spend hours overthinking why he didn’t text you for hours and ruin your day), we looked at all the possible scenarios and prepared a list of how long you should wait before replying to his texts, or if you should wait at all.
When You Should Reply As Soon As Possible
In some cases, the best thing to do is not make a guy wait if he has already stagnated the conversation by making you wait for hours. This might sound a little weird considering he nearly ruined your day by making you wait so long, but if you want the conversation to become interesting, you need to reply as soon as it works for you.
The following is a list of situations when you should not make him wait for hours if he did the same to you.
You Both Have Just Started Talking
Texting in the 21st Century sets insane expectations. We expect a person to text us as soon as they get our number and start thinking about the worst possibilities if they don’t. If you both have just started talking and you have not figured out his communication style yet, it is best to give him the benefit of the doubt for at least a week before jumping to conclusions about how he could be avoiding you.
Besides, it is important to know that communication is the key to establishing a healthy relationship and so is having a good conversation. If you reply to him after hours when he had a good reason for doing the same, you can come off as uninterested and the conversation can turn dry.
He is Busy
It is no secret that we all get busy with our lives. Between back-to-back meetings, real-life hangouts, and deadlines, it can be difficult to reply to everyone on time. However, in this matter, the number of hours he takes to reply is also a significant factor.
For instance, is he taking 3 hours to text or more than 6 hours? If he is taking 3 hours, he likely has an important matter to tend to, in which case you should reply to him as soon as it works for you.
However, if he takes more than 6 hours to reply often and excuses himself by saying he was busy, there could be a possibility he is uninterested. And if that’s the case, you need to take a step back and think before replying to him as soon as you see his text.
He is Interested, But He Does Not Want to Appear Desperate
Girls, we need to admit it. Men care and they tend to overthink the smallest of things too. While not all of them are the same, most of the times they are particular about coming off as desperate or needy. And they think the best way to avoid that is by taking hours to send a text.
It sounds irritating, considering the fact that you had been ruminating for hours and wondering the worst possibilities, but it is best to reply to him as soon as possible if it sounds like he is putting effort into the conversation, just replying late with no reasonable excuse.
We need to comprehend that texting is a robotic form of communication and it can be quite hard to decipher someone’s feelings over a text. Healthy communication is the best way to form a meaningful relationship which is why making a guy wait when he is worried about what you think of him could easily ruin a good bond.
If you get back to his text on time, he will stop worrying about appearing needy and you both will be able to have an interesting conversation without waiting hours to get back to each other’s texts.
It is His Personality
Yes, this one is hard to admit. But the truth is, even in this day and age, some people prefer other means of communication over texting and it could be possible the guy whose text you have been waiting for, is one of them. If he seems interested but does not reply for hours, you should try using voice notes or asking to hop on a call to have a better conversation instead of ignoring him for hours.
If he responds well to calls and voice notes, you can rest assured, knowing he does want to talk to you, just not through a text.
He is Forgetful and Absent-Minded
With so many things to take care of and so little time, it is easy to forget about replying to texts. And some people are just forgetful and absent-minded, they look at texts, intend to reply to them, but then something comes up and they forget it was there. As annoying as it is, we need to understand that everyone who replies after hours is not doing it on purpose and give them the benefit of the doubt.
So, if the guy who has made you wait hours for a text is forgetful and absent-minded, it is best to reply to him as soon as possible to keep the conversation interesting.
He is Taking Time to Write the Perfect Text
Typing out a text takes seconds, but writing a perfect one does not. If a guy has shown significant interest in you and sends perfect, clever texts after hours, it could be possible he is doing this to impress you or to develop a better bond.
While it does sound unusual, the truth is many people are guilty of taking a good amount of time to think of a perfect text. So if you think this could be the reason he is taking hours to text, you should not make him wait as much in return and possibly ruin a good conversation.
This goes without saying, but you need to take into account his lifestyle before deciding if you should take just as long to text as he did. For instance, is he out of town often? Is he usually travelling to places where there is a lack of cellular services? Does he happen to work or stay in a basement?
While this is basic common sense, there is no doubt it goes out of the window when you’re busy worrying why he didn’t text you for hours and if you should be doing the same. Communication is the key, if you both share a decent bond, it is best to ask him why he takes hours to reply (without making it sound like a big deal).
And if he clearly states that his lifestyle is one of the reasons he is not able to text for hours, you should reply to him as soon as possible to have better conversations.
When You Should Reply to His Texts After Hours
While waiting for hours to reply to someone who has already done the same can lead to an unhealthy cycle of pettiness, it is necessary at times because a guy needs to know that your time is just as valuable as his and that he cannot take you for granted.
However, it is also important to understand the circumstances in which you should take this course of action to avoid becoming a part of this unhealthy cycle unnecessarily.
When He Continuously Texts First and Then Disappears for Hours
Texting first and then waiting for hours before responding to a reply is a major red flag if it repeatedly happens. Normally, this behaviour means that he is only interested in getting temporary attention when he is bored and has no interest in you otherwise. While this is not a hard and fast rule, the hot and cold behaviour could be a sign a guy is only playing with your emotions.
In this case, it is best to reply to him just as late (or even later). If his behaviour changes and he understands your worth, you’re good to go. If not, you need to start thinking of spending your time thinking about whether his texts are worth it or not.
His Texts are Dry
If a guy’s texts are both delayed by hours and dry, it is never a good sign. If he exhibits no interest in talking to you, gives one-word replies, and does not pay attention to anything you have to say, you either need to do the same to him or move on for good.
This is because if you continue making excuses for his behaviour and put a lot of effort into a one-sided relationship, you will be blocking the path for better people and lose respect for yourself in the long run.
He’s Online for Hours but Doesn’t Text You
If a guy has time to post stories on social media and reply to other friends but still doesn’t text you for hours, is likely not interested in holding a conversation with you.
If this is the case, you need to communicate with him directly as to why he is behaving this way and if the issue persists, you can stop prioritizing him and reply to him after hours, as he does. However, if a guy shows no interest in talking to you and does not respect your engagement needs, it is best to break things off for good.
He Thinks There is No Problem With Delayed Texts
If you have openly communicated with him and mentioned that you have a problem with him texting you after hours, and he does not realize his mistake or propose a solution, it is not a good sign. A guy who is interested in you will prove it with his actions. And when his actions fail to prove how much he respects your wishes, it is time to make him realize your worth.
When guys don’t respond to verbal communication, you need to show that poor behaviour will not be tolerated and the best way to do that is by giving him a taste of his own medicine. Usually, this is how men realize your worth and gain respect for you at the same time.
Hours Turn into Days Without Him Texting You
Waiting a few hours for replies is alright, but when 8 hours turn into 24 hours or 48 hours, you need to take a step back and realize if waiting around for a guy who does not respect your time is worth it or not. The best way to check if he is doing this for a reason or not is to try talking to him. And if that does not work, replying to him at the same frequency is the solution.
Navigating the world of friendships and relationships is hard when you don’t properly know the other person. However, time, patience, and reason can solve all problems. As annoying as waiting hours for texts is, waiting for the right person is always worth it. However, stressing over delayed replies of a guy and spending hours wondering if you should do the same is never a good idea. In such cases, it is important to distract yourself and surround yourself with loving people who value your time and effort.