For those who invested their love and affection in one person that they thought was destined to be their soul-mate, getting over their ex is next to impossible. They prefer to hold onto a mere belief that it is nothing but their destiny to be together and, in time, things will work out if they just don’t give up.
But for their ex, this attitude is not only delusional but also becomes increasingly annoying with the passage of time. While their ex has moved on, they suffer, without realizing that sometimes holding on to something hurts a lot more than letting it go.
You know that your ex is truly done with you when all their actions become self-explanatory and there is no hesitance in confessing it to your face. This becomes even more obvious once your ex commits to another person. This might leave you emotionally and mentally broken, in tears with nothing to hold onto except despair and sheer agony. As bad it may hurt, learn to let go and forgive yourself, and most importantly, move on.
The pain of rejection can be too much after years or months of a relationship. No matter how hard it is, no matter what one tells himself to heal his broken heart, there is no escape from the cold reality of the situation.
It is best to give up and accept the circumstances for what they are contrary to undertaking a meaningless journey in which one is bound to fail once again.
There are some indications to point towards the harsh truth that your ex is truly done with you.
6 Signs your Ex is truly Done with you:
Relationships are always meant to last forever whenever they are formed. Both partners make an unspoken vow of fidelity and sticking with each other through thick and thin without ever realizing and questioning the pragmatism and dynamics of their relationships.
Anything that is heavily invested in, in terms of emotions, time, and efforts, should not have any margin for error.
The loopholes surface with the passing of time and all the promises romance are not good enough to solve the actual problem at hand.
It is not only difficult to maintain the relationship at such a stage, but it gets harder to not let it go for one of the partners.
1- Conversations become formal and dry
After the break-up, contacting your ex again might be somewhat of an exciting endeavor for you, and you might expect same energy back.
However, if the responses are generic and formal, chances are pretty high that your ex has already given up on you regardless of what you think and tell yourself.
There is no element of romance or any hint of interest left in the chat. Even if you give all of your attention, and try to sound much interested in your ex’s daily life to let him or her know that you care much more than you used to, the reply from the other end is going to be vague.
Emotions will not be reciprocated as you expect them to be. After a time, it dawns on you that no matter how much effort you put in to persuade your ex and re-build that bond you lost, all of the hard-work is going to waste because your ex doesn’t care anymore and is truly done with you.
2- Priorities change
If during your relationship, instant reply was a common thing.
Now the experience is going to be polar opposite. You might stalk your ex out of curiosity only to later disappoint yourself.
It will be evident that there are things much important than you in your ex’s life.
Be it work, friends, or family, you are nowhere near the top five in your ex’s list of priorities.
This is further substantiated by the obvious and painful realizations that your interactions become limited.
No matter how hard you try to engage in a long, drawn out conversation, some important work will always show up leaving you hanging in middle of nowhere, getting humiliating and embarrassing with every other conversation.
Even if you communicate to your ex about such feelings of worthlessness, the only sincere response you will get is to move on and invest in something meaningful in your life.
3- He/she goes silent
After a certain period of time, the already depleted interest in you is further substantiated by the fact that your ex completely shut you down.
Even the formal greetings or celebratory messages or texts become null and void.
At this stage, your ex does not even considers you to include in a generic list of his or her friends. It becomes pretty apparent at this point that you are completely out of your ex’s mind and that he or she has truly moved on.
4- Being forthright about feelings/lack of feelings
When your ex is truly done with you, it is more than likely that you’ll get to hear directly about feelings for you that no longer exist. Your ex will be upfront about it and tell how he feels about you after the break-up.
He or she will let you know about what their criterion for a relationship is going to be moving forward from this point onwards in life and how you’re a misfit that fails to tick the checklist.
5- Showing interest in someone else
It is truly the final nail in the coffin for you and your make-believe imagination, the most hurtful and glaring sign that your ex is truly done with you when he or she starts showing interest in someone who is nothing like you.
At this point, one starts questioning his self-worth and the insane level of commitment that amounts to nothing in the end.
Even if you confront your ex about it, the response will be swift and honest, he or she found someone better.
Perhaps, it becomes self-evident after this when your ex doesn’t want you anywhere close. Your ex decides to block you on social media and burn all bridges that led to you. He or she is honestly done with you and doesn’t even mind letting you know about it or care about how hurt you might feel afterwards. For your ex, it is nothing but inevitable and it is better to be done sooner than later.
The hardest thing to accept is the fact that your ex has truly moved on and that now no amount of hard-work or wishful thinking is ever going to help you. It is a bitter pill to swallow for anyone that refuses to let go.
The pain of such a suffering is not only damaging to one’s own self-esteem, but also addictive in nature. As far from reality as it sounds, it gets even more ridiculous with every coming day.
How to kill the urge of trying to contact with your ex when it is clear that the relationship is over?
It is not a switch that can be turned off any time one feels like doing so. A long time of emotional investment is hard to dismiss. The only way is to fight the demon within you, even if you crave for it. Keep resisting until the day there are no feelings left in the tank. Every time one chooses not to engage, the will becomes stronger and it get much easier to ignore the temptation next time.
However, if one fails to practice self-control, the best solution is to eliminate every way of contacting your ex. In such a case, it is best for your mental health to take yourself off the social media and every other medium of contact possible. As difficult as it may sound, life gets much easier with every passing day as you now focus your attention on other some other stuff that is always going to be a much better substitute than keeping your mind pre-occupied with your ex.
What should be done to move on from your ex?
First and foremost thing to do is avoid thinking about your ex as much as possible.
Don’t let your ex occupy your mental space by always trying to second guess yourself by thinking about his or her perspective on whatever endeavor you are about to undertake. About the activities, it is purely a subjective matter.
Of the things that can help one in moving on, the one at the top of the list is adventure.
Don’t lock yourself up in a room with nothing to do. Always engage in actions because at such a stage, it is best not to trust your mind with the thoughts that it will generate while you’re with no one, but yourself.
It is best to learn some new skill that is challenging enough for you to invest your effort in it for longer periods of time.
Rest is up to your discretion.
From here on out, remember your decisions are your own. Cherish this freedom.
Ending Thoughts and An Advice:
For any couple, starting a relationship is one of the most beautiful experiences of their lives. They trust each other with their vulnerabilities and strengths. As rosy as the experience maybe at the start, the practical challenges if life really test the commitment of both the partners as well as their temperaments.
It forces them to think pragmatically and put a lid on tall promises that they were used to making so casually. In time, one realizes the potential failure or success of the relationship and chooses to act accordingly.
After a relationship is over, one of the partners tend to seek reconciliation and more often than not they are able to persuade their ex. But if the holes aren’t plugged in time and the water keeps filling into the boat, any reconciliation or reconnection is just delaying the inevitable disaster the relationship is heading towards.
One needs to stop building castles in the air and come up with a realistic plan that can be followed with tangible set of goals leading up to whatever the ultimate aim is that the couple has decided for themselves.
The consequences of living in a world of denial and failing to accept the truth can be dire and harmful for one. The self-concocted reality is hard to dismiss and it is next to impossible to abandon all hope. However, facts don’t care about one’s feelings.
Once it is self-evident that your ex wants no part of you, take the words at their face value and start investing in yourself. It is clear after your ex shows no interest, treats you with much lower significance than any of other friends, is always looking for a way out of the conversation, and is seeing someone, that she is truly done with you.
It is best to make life easier for the both of you by letting go and ending the relationship on a good note by forgiving each other.