Manipulative bosses – How to deal with them?: Being an employed human being is mostly all about hating your boss. It is a rather rare sight to see an employee, adoring their boss. This is usually because either he/she is a very calculative person or straight off, you have a manipulative boss who is quite evil and hard to deal with.
Now the question is; how to deal with a manipulative boss?
It is the same old story, repeating itself, every week.
It is a shiny and bright Monday morning and you have somehow managed to drag yourself out of bed and have ended up sitting on your desk which is making your life dull.
You keep telling yourself that my boss makes me feel inadequate but there isn’t much that you can do about it either.
Or maybe, you have not tried dealing with a manipulative boss, in the right way.
But there are some amazing leaders too. It is not crucial that a boss has to be sly or play mind games at work with their employees.
There are some amazing bosses who are not the manipulators and yes, they might be less in number, but they do exist.
However, the reality is that you probably have an evil boss, which is why you are here.
And honey, almost all the bosses are and you need to learn how to deal with them. This is why we have compiled this guide for all the people who want to learn how to deal with a manipulative boss. It is possible to deal with the bad boss at games that they play and we will help you with this!
Table of Content
Signs that your boss is one of “The Manipulators”
You hate your boss, and if you keep on whining that my boss makes me feel inadequate, then the reality is that you don’t even know that they have a manipulative personality.
Many bosses are emotionally manipulative which makes it harder to recognize them.
But here are some commons that your boss is one of the manipulators and then we will go further and provide you tips on how to deal with a manipulative boss.
Your boss is trying to change you:
A manipulative boss will emotionally try to mold your personality, so watch out.
Do not confuse, behavior, and habits with personality because all three differ a lot.
For instance, your workplace can require certain types of behavior like punctuality and commitment.
However, your boss should never try to shape your personality according to their interests.
If someone tries to shape your personality, it is straight off manipulation.
If your boss tries to tell you that your body language needs to be changed; you know that they are trying to change who you are. The right boss knows the difference between behavior requirements and personality changes but the manipulators, know nothing better.
Your duty is to abide by the company’s rules and not to the personal choices of your boss.
Shaping how you talk:
If your boss is a manipulative and calculative person, then he/she will try to shape your speech.
They will constantly tell you to not use certain words and not speak in a certain accent.
However, when they hired you in the first place, they definitely knew of how you speak.
This makes it extremely hard for an employee to share their perspective with their boss.
They are always scared because they do not want to use words that might offend them.
But in reality, they are not being offended; they are just limiting you and making you feel inadequate by using the guilt trip phycology.
Acts as if your Salary is a Favor:
The height of being a manipulative boss is to make an employee feel as if he/she is being done a favor by getting paid.
Almost every boss ever has done this. They ignore the value that attains from your work and makes you feel inadequate, yet again.
Your boss has the right to demand a certain level of productivity and creativity from you.
But if your work is always undermined, then your boss is one of the manipulators.
A good boss will let you know that the standards of the company and how you are falling behind. However, a manipulative boss will simply come off as “I am paying you a hefty amount of money and this is what I am getting”. You can easily judge the difference.
These are the top 3 signs that you have a manipulative boss.
You can also have a manipulative manager and they usually portray the same pattern of behavior.
How to handle a manipulative boss?
Now that you are 100% sure that your boss is one of the manipulators, it is time to make a plan to deal with them.
Remember that if your boss has a controlling personality, you can’t really change her/him.
So it is best to learn how to deal with a manipulative boss.
Have knowledge about your basic rights in the workplace:
Primarily, you must know your basic rights. Majority of people are clueless about the rights they have in their workplace, as an employee. You have every right to be treated with respect by your boss and your coworkers too. You must also have knowledge about different laws that protect you from any physical or mental harm. A condescending boss makes it hard for his/her employees to survive in the workplace. This is where knowing all your basic rights can help you speak up if they try to cross the ethical boundaries.
Maintain a good Distance:
This can be a bit tough if you are handling a manipulative manager because they are your direct supervisors. However, a little observation can help you. Check how this person interacts with other employees. Do you think that he/she is only behaving a bit different and evil with you? Maybe they tend to treat everyone differently? If yes, then keeping a good distance is important. A boss or manager must have a consistent personality but if yours is acting differently with almost everyone, then they are deep-rooted the manipulators.
Have a Strong Back Bone:
If your boss or manager keeps telling you to stay late and overwork; you need to set some limitations and have a strong backbone. You can stay up once or maybe twice per month but if you are being approached to do it daily then you must put a stop to it. You are dealing with a manipulative boss who is demanding more work then he hired you for.
Having a firm boundary is crucial. You can easily tell them that you cannot stay after regular working hours every day. You owe them no explanations because you are hired for the time assigned to you.
Turn the Tables Around:
I’ll agree with my boss to avoid confrontation; are you one of those employees? Well, you won’t be able to sustain that behavior for long as it is exhausting. Thus, trying turning the tables around. Ask them politely whether their behavior seems fair to them? You can also probe a question to make this happen.
For instance, “are you telling me or asking me?”
This simple statement can make them step back a bit.
The questions might make them rethink about what they are trying to do. However, if they still do not back down, you have to be polite yet firm in saying “no.”
So these are some simple ways on how to deal with a manipulative boss. But do you know the types of bosses that exist? Let’s get a quick guide on the types of bosses that you might have to encounter in different workplaces.
Types of Munipative bosses in the workplace
The Bully Boss:
Every boss is the bully, right? But then there are the specific ones. They are just too intimidating and are always found shouting at you and the entire staff.
This usually makes them a demoralizing boss as they are unable to motivate their staff to be more productive and creative while they are around.
If your boss is the bully, he/she won’t listen to your ideas and solutions. They will prefer their own solutions more and will use aggressive words and expressions to make sure that they are being heard.
These bosses are the ones which seem to be sitting right next to you. Or maybe they make it seem like it.
They are going to listen to everything you say around or maybe listen to all the calls that you make.
They keep poking their nose into everything you do and make you start losing your interest and confidence.
They are more like the murders of work spirit. If you think that my boss makes me feel inadequate, then probably he/she is a micro-manager manipulator.
They didn’t end up being bosses just like that. They had this huge spirit in them, for working all the time which made them earn the boss seat. Anyways, the workaholic bosses are the first ones to be in the office and the last ones to leave as well. They just do everything at their desk.
They could just arrange a pooping system close to their desk even.
You know what I mean right? Their head is always crawled down in their keyboards.
They are the ones who will send you work-emails on Saturday mornings, making you feel guilty or a bit infuriated because you want to enjoy your weekend.
Workaholic bosses manipulate in their own ways by putting a lot of pressure on you.
These are the ones who usually throw the “we are paying you” statement on your face, multiple times.
The Ego-Driven Nut head:
No offense to House Fans but C’mon you guys know what I am talking about here!
I am calling them a Nut head because they simply are.
Also sorry, if any boss finds this offensive. But the ego-maniac bosses love the fact that they are your boss.
They are the manipulators who want to feel their authority all the time.
Their ego is huge and they love being the center of attraction. They consider themselves to be right all the time, even if they are not. And well, they are quite hard to deal with.
Now you know how to deal with a manipulative boss and you also know about the different types of manipulators that you might come across in different workplaces.
So how about we provide you with some mind games at work that can be used to build a strong personality in your workplace?
Mind games at work: How to make a strong presence?
Having knowledge about some mind games that can be used at work, can really help boost your presence in the working environment.
This is especially great for women as they need to do everything that they can, to get ahead in their careers. It is usually easier for men to get away with something at work than women.
Thus, having some handful of tips and mind games at work can help you sustain your existence and stay strong too. These are not political mind games at all; these are just physiological approaches that can put you ahead in the game.
Meet people with a firm handshake:
People usually judge others on the type of handshake they give, especially if they are entrepreneurs and clients.
Thus, make sure that whenever you meet a new client, you give them a confident and firm handshake. This makes you seem stronger. It is one of the most used mind games at work.
Also, look the person in the eye directly and smile a bit while you shake hands so that they find you confident overall.
This will set a very amazing image of you.
Put your focus in the right direction:
While attending a meeting, your focus should be on the strongest person present there. When they are demonstrating or discussing anything, you should hold strong eye contact with them. Doing so will make them assume that you are listening to each and every word very carefully.
Try flattering them, without being obvious. You can repeat their ideas in different words which will flatter their intellect. However, don’t be too flattering in a meeting as it sends wrong signs to your boss and other people.
Do not correct people when they are talking:
This is another way to deal with a bossy coworker too and one of the great mind games at work too.
If your coworker is bossy and they are not saying the right thing; do not correct them al of a sudden.
It is human nature that people hate those who try to correct them.
Even if you are right, you will lose influence once you correct them in front of others as they will start holding a grudge against you. so the mind game here is to let them be.
These are simple 3 mind games at work that can be used to stay ahead in your workplace.
These are easy yet very powerful and will set a great image of you as well.
Bosses have always been a problem for the world, right? But there is nothing that is impossible.
If lemon is bitter, why suck it to make yourself bitter as well? Just leave it as it is.
You just can’t dump every other job, can you? It is better to handle the bosses with care and a professional manner.
We don’t want to lose our job but we also don’t want to feel worthless because they decide to make us feel that way.
Everything in this world has a solution, so why not the horrible bosses? Handle em guys!