Picture this: things got ugly with your relationship and you had to break it off, but you and your (now) ex have to live together perhaps due to some lease contract and don’t have enough resources to move out.
One day out of the blue and the mess of it all, you feel an old spark rekindle in your heart and want to get them back.
And it is more than likely that your ex doesn’t even want to have anything to do with you, they’re just swallowing the hard pill and living out the time before they can move out.
So how do you make them understand that you’re still head over heels for them and want them to come back to you.
Tough nut to crack, right?
Let us tell you how to crack it then.
Ways to get your ex back when you’re still living together
Despite the fact that it is a difficult task, there are some ways in which you can get your ex back when you are living with them.
First, be sure of it
Before you impulsively decide to give your ex a failed love story like they have never had, and we totally mean that in a bad sense, it is crucial that you have got it all figured out in your head. You don’t want to give them the wrong signals if you aren’t sure and ruin the remaining time that you guys have together.
Hence, think everything through first, and then act upon it. Ask yourself if you really want them back or is it just separation anxiety that’s making you feel like this?
If you aren’t 100% sure of your feelings, there’s a big possibility that you’ll end up making things awkward for your ex and yourself equally.
So in order to save yourself from any embarrassment, talk to yourself about your thoughts first, and once you’re sure that you really want to get back together with your ex, then reach out to them.
Don’t lose respect for their personal space
When you’re overwhelmed by feelings which suggest that getting back with your ex is the only thing that will make your heart smile, it is possible that you stumble into their life.
A little too much, that is.
In an invasive manner.
When you wish to get back together with your ex, the number one thing to keep in mind is that the both of you are no longer lovers. It is no longer ‘normal’ to want to be informed of every single detail of their life. Or to have access to their personal matters.
Since they’re not your partner anymore, they don’t owe you anything even if you don’t like the thought of it. Hence, you should be extremely careful of imposing yourself on them. Your relationship is in a raw and damaged phase which can be completely cut off if you give them such an impression. Your invasive behavior is going to drive them away and erase any possibility of you two getting back together.
Hence, limit your life to yourself and respect your ex’s personal space as well so you can make your move.
Create some distance
You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is true to when you want to get back together with your ex as well. But since the two of you share a place together, it can get challenging to stage absence.
Henceforth, you should create distance.
Some time apart from each other after dating can prove to be a fresh breath of air for the both of you. It’ll be different from how things were customary to being and will surely give the both of you an opportunity to focus on yourself and your life as an individual.
Creating distance between the two of you after you’ve decided to get back with your ex may even make them realize if they want you in their life again. It is possible that they will come around the realization that they liked their life more with you in it. And if they get into the same headspace, then it’s simply the best news for you. It’ll be a piece of cake when you approach them later and they’ll happily let you back in.
Work on your flaws
If your relationship with your ex ended on bad terms, and that too, because of something you do or did, then the best way to get them back with you is to work on those things.
Try to cultivate a change in the things about you that are specifically irritating or used to put them off and show them that you can be a good person.
It’s even easier because the both of you live together, hence whatever you do, you will at some point in the day cross paths with each other. And when they realize that the end of your relationship has made you a better person, they might want to get back together with you.
Show them that you are thriving alone
Being in a relationship can make you rely on your partner for the smallest of things in life. This might not be alarming at the time, but in the bigger picture, being in a relationship instills a sense of dependency on each other. And if you guys break it off later, then it can cause some deep damage.
It can get hard to move on as you find it challenging to carry on with your life like you normally used to before dating them. You’ll feel their absence in every little thing that you do. And in some cases it might get extremely frustrating to fulfil the bare minimum.
If you wish to get back together with your ex, then shifting your focus to yourself can do you more good than you think. Living together means that their thoughts might never leave your head and cause you even more pain so it’s important to be mindful of yourself and your welfare.
It is never certain if they will want to get back with you, so instead of investing all your energy into the thought of a patch up, invest it in yourself. You won’t just heal from the breakup, but it might also create some clarity in your head regarding what you actually want.
Sometimes it is the case that it’s just their sudden absence that makes you miss someone and be miserable. So clearing your head out might make you realize that it’s not what you want to begin with.
And on the other hand, if you still want to get them back, then your independence might make them see you in a different light and they’ll want to come back.
Just go with it
Once you are entirely sure about your course of action regarding the relationship and want to get back, the best thing is to pour your heart out into talking to them about it.
If you’re past the stage where the breakup still hurts and feels new, then you may want to start easing your thoughts towards your ex as well.
And once enough time has passed since your breakup, then sit with them and put all your thoughts out on the table in front of them. However, be prepared for any sort of reaction, whether it may be positive or negative.
Don’t rush, though
The time following a breakup can be extremely overwhelming. You might feel like you’ve made the best decision of your life or you might think that your life has been ruined because of it.
If you are going through the latter, you will definitely think that getting back together with your ex will fix all your problems. While you may want to immediately take action, it is best if you don’t. Grief comes in different forms and making you feel like you need to make impulsive decisions is one of them.
It could just be your grief speaking when it forces you to patch up with your ex hence it is pivotal that you make all your decisions with a clear head. In order to make sure that you are in the right headspace to be taking such important steps you will need to give yourself time. Let time show you what you really want. Perhaps things will change and you’ll want the exact opposite.
Living together means that you will be brought in front of your ex several times a day, hence giving rise to impulsive thoughts that suggest you to impose yourself on your ex again and again. It is vital that you steer clear of your emotions when you see them and take your brain’s help in making any decision. You don’t want to be messing their life while your own’s an even bigger mess.
Start talking to them
If your breakup was a whole action movie with a lot of fighting and you have to live with your ex later, it can tend to get extremely awkward. The silence can be so deafening that it’ll make your ears bleed. Living together means that you’ll have to interact with them one way or another by all means.
Even though acting all normal immediately after the breakup is not the smartest decision you can make, you should gradually try to resume normal interaction between the two of you. Keep conversations with your ex light and limited in the beginning and if you get a welcoming signal, then you may talk more.
It’s just about doing what the situation demands from you at the time. You don’t want to make a fool out of yourself by going way out of your way. Take things slowly and calmly and once things get normal, you can even talk to them about how you feel about them.
Give yourself a makeover
We often see in movies that couples break up because they don’t feel that ‘spark’ anymore when they look at their partner. And this is not true to movies only. It is as natural to fall out of love as it is to fall in love.
For a lot of people, physical appearances and characteristics hold utmost importance in the relationship. And while that’s not wrong at all, it does increase the possibility of them falling out of love with their partner once they feel like their ‘look’ is too mundane or boring.
If this has been the case with your breakup, and you want to get back together with your ex, you can always head to the salon and get yourself a new look or to the mall and refresh your wardrobe. Or book yourself a fitness trainer and head to the gym. A change as minor as the way you dress, a physical trait or a change in your lifestyle can heavily impact your life. If you feel good about yourself, then certainly you will catch your ex’s eye and they might get attracted towards you again.
And especially if you’re living together, woah, you are going to put them in a trance.
If you think your ex is interested in you and is dropping you hints, then your job is done. Sit them down and pour your heart out in front of them. Tell them that you’re not over them at all and still have a soft spot for them in your heart. If they genuinely share your feelings, you will be a happy couple once again.
Don’t be petty
Ending a relationship is one thing. But breaking up with your partner and then having to live with them following the breakup due to whatever reason, is a whole nother deal.
And it requires a lot of maturity and effort to make it happen. Now add that with you wanting to get back together with your ex.
A whole freakshow ain’t it?
You may be filled with tons of questions regarding why your ex broke things off with you and will feel the urge to make them feel like you’ve already moved on from them and their absence or presence didn’t make a big difference in your life.
But if you wish to get back together with your ex, you need to be extremely smart and mature in your dealings. Staging a life where you have moved past the relationship and have hit up other people to talk to gives off a very weird impression.
You might be trying to get your ex back through the facade of jealousy, but in reality you’re just making things worse for your case.
Nobody will like to patch up with an ex who isn’t affected by their absence, even if you say you miss them like crazy.
If you are giving the opposite signals and saying the opposite then that is extremely juvenile, so refrain from anything petty that might put you in a bad position in front of your ex and leave you with zero chances of getting them back.
Breaking up with someone is perhaps one of the toughest and roughest things one has to do.
It isn’t easy, and if you happen to live with your ex even after the breakup, then it can get very challenging to navigate through life.
If you wish to get back with your ex while you are in such a position, every step you take needs to be 100% calculated, with all outcomes considered. You don’t want to fool around in the name of ‘love’ and in turn end up hurting your ex partner.
If you really have the desire to patch it up with your ex, then you need to make your decisions wisely and all your actions should totally translate your true feelings to them.
Only then can you hope to turn things normal again with your ex and get back into a relationship.