Yes seriously, don’t trust anyone not everyone is your friend, and let me tell you why.
Starting off with a quote that I love:
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
You might have heard this before.
Why is it so hard to trust anyone nowadays?
In today’s world, people have become opportunistic, only seeking human company when in need of something.
They don’t really care about others or their problems.
They’re here only for worldly gain.
Whether it’s friendship or relationships, all bonds are built on trust.
The success of a relationship depends deeply on how much you trust the other person. It is a tool to survive in this chaotic world.
Therefore trust is an unpredictable thing. When we spend a considerable amount of time with someone, we naturally start trusting them. The human mind is designed in such a way that we need to trust those around us in order to make sense of this world.
We come across many people in our lives. Some stay with us for a long time and some depart after a short while. Then there are those who stay with us for a lifetime. All of these people play different roles in our life. Some become our friends, some form a relationship with us and some only remain acquaintances. No matter what our relationship is with these people, it will only flourish when the feeling of trust is mutual.
History of Betrayal
Et tu, Brute? A Latin sentence meaning “Even you, Brutus? You remember this line from William Shakespeare.
Our history is full of examples of people who turned out to be untrustworthy and betrayed those who trusted them with their lives.
There are also examples of those who remained loyal and trusty.
These are infamous examples from history.
But what about our everyday life?
Don’t we learn this the hard way that not everyone is your friend?
People who work with us, people who we hang out with, and even those we live with – they all turn their backs towards us at some point and we are shocked at how easy it was for them to break our trust.
Trust is a two-way street.
People want us to trust them but they don’t really do anything to prove that they are trustworthy.
So, the question is who should we trust blindly and who are the people we should watch out for?
Red Flags to watch out for
We have all been through betrayal and broken trust.
It’s hard, ugly, and involves a fair share of heartbreak, but tell you what?
You can’t trust anyone in this fickle world apart from yourself. You are your own team, you are a one-man army.
While we fall prey to deceit all the time, some major forewarnings can help us identify a person who might double-cross us.
The earlier you get to know them, the easier it will be for you to stop yourself from getting hurt.
The first tell-tale sign of a person who is not worth your trust is that they are double-faced.
When they’re with you, they will pretend to be your well-wisher but in your absence, they won’t spare a minute to badmouth you. They will publicize your weaknesses and try to bring down your image in front of everyone.
As soon as you identify this trait in a person, you should distance yourself from them.
This is a common trait of an untrustworthy person as they are unable to keep your secret. We may have encountered such people in our childhood as well.
As kids, we used to tell our secrets to a friend or even sibling, and when they would give it away, we called them a snitch. If a person doesn’t learn how to keep a secret in their childhood, they grow up to do the same things. Such people can not be trusted at any cost.
If you find a person, telling you the secrets of another person, it’s a major red flag. As behind your back, they may be giving away all of your secrets to others as well.
The reason behind this behavior can be their wish to stay in the limelight. They want to be popular by breaching others’ trust. If they don’t have any regard for your confidential information, then there’s no reason to keep any relation with them. They simply cannot be trusted.
It’s very difficult for a narcissistic person to hide this trait. They will start showing signs after a couple of meetings and you should take that as a cue for your exit.
They will always consider their own self before others. They are quick to find faults in other people, while they claim to be perfect in every way. Putting the blame of their wrongdoings on others is something they excel at.
A narcissist will never be by your side in times of difficulty, so it’s better to keep yourself reserved from such toxic people.
An untrustworthy person usually has a superficial interest in you. This means that they are only with you for a purpose – to get something, maybe a favor.
As soon as they realize that they don’t need you anymore or that they won’t succeed in getting whatever they are seeking, they will cut off ties in a heartbeat.
When you’re alone with such people, they will be very friendly towards you, but when you have more company, they will behave as if they don’t know you. This is a red flag that proves that they are with you for a reason.
So before they get a chance to show their real face and hurt you, it’s better to step back.
Lack of Empathy
A deceptive person usually struggles to empathize with others. The reason being that a person who cannot knowingly hurt someone, holds some amount of empathy in their hearts. They cannot betray someone because they can feel the pain too.
This trait is difficult to identify as the person is unaware of it. They look at everything from their perspective and find nothing wrong with their behavior.
We need to observe how they treat those around them and how they behave with someone from whom they need a favor. Their true nature will eventually start showing
A person who can stab someone in the back and take zero responsibility for the inconvenience caused to the other person surely lacks empathy and cannot be trusted.
Good-natured and friendly people are found almost everywhere. It’s good to have them around.
But sometimes we come across excessively charming people. Even though they are super nice towards us, something seems out of place and their behavior suffocates us.
If you sense something like that, it usually means your sixth sense is kicking in and giving you a warning about that person.
Such people will appear to be sweet and caring and will try to know more about you. You have to be careful around them and not give out much information, no matter how much they try to pry.
Sooner or later their true colors will start showing and you will realize that they aren’t as cheerful as they appear.
Fickle (Changing quickly)
We sometimes mix up being fickle with being indecisive. We all tend to be a bit indecisive at some point or the other, but the problem with these individuals is that they don’t even trust their own decisions and keep moving back and forth even after making one.
They don’t take their thoughts into consideration when making a decision, rather they would rely on external factors. Also, they have the ability to retract after making promises.
Their constant changes of mind in coming to a final decision is caused by a fluctuating mental state. This means that putting your trust in a fickle person is a gullible thing to do.
Abuse of Power
It is often said that a person’s true colors are shown when they are in power. An untrustworthy person will do the same. When they are in a state of authority, they will have nothing to fear and in return reveal their true self.
Also, when they have some confidential information, they will threaten to use it against you, therefore having control over you. Such people pretend to be nice and then strike at the perfect opportunity.
Follow your instincts and save yourself the hurt of being betrayed.
Lie to Themselves
As an untrustworthy person is known for faking everything, they even start doing it to themselves, unknowingly.
The way they look at themselves is different from what they are in reality. For example, they might think of themselves as soft-spoken and peaceful, but those who are around them know that it’s the other way round. They are loud and ready to argue all the time.
They perceive things according to what they think, which is the opposite of what things are like in reality. It has no connection with their true self. In short, their words and actions are mismatched.
A person who shows such disconnection should be put aside as soon as possible.
A person who gets upset if things don’t go their way can also come under the heading of untrustworthy. They can transform themselves from as sweet as a pie to extremely irritated, in the blink of an eye. In order to get things done according to their wish, they might pretend to be a totally different person, but if it doesn’t go as planned, they will suddenly start acting up.
We all have one or more of the aforementioned traits, which doesn’t mean that we are untrustworthy. It’s not easy to identify or notice these things in a person but one should keep their eyes open for pointers. As soon as you realize that something is off about a person, you should think twice before interacting with them.
You should always go by your gut feeling. If you find yourself in the company of a manipulative person who only approaches you in times of need, or takes advantage of your vulnerability, you should try to get out of there quickly and reach out for help.
I’m not saying that all untrustworthy people are dangerous or might harm you, but they are toxic, and being around them is not advisable.
In the end…
We should keep in mind that not everyone can be trusted and not everyone is our friend. We have to be very careful before confiding in someone. Only our immediate family can be trusted with our lives otherwise, people out there will eat you alive.