A confrontation with your crush can be a nerve wrecking experience, with your cheeks blushing, shivers running down your spine, being all breathless, drops of sweat drooling over your pink cheeks, and whatnot.
This blend of emotions despite being the most beautiful feeling in the world can trigger major stress, and the best way to avoid this stress is to start a conversation with your crush.
Now, the main problem is, how to start a conversation with your crush for the first time? Well, you just have to plan strategically, wait for the best time and place, be casual, be confident, introduce yourself well, show interest in understanding your crush, share your opinions, and last but not least, be honest.
If you are lucky enough, this person might as well like you back and you never know, your crush might become your next boyfriend or girlfriend!
Tips / Hacks in starting a conversation with your Crush (For 1st time):
There are many ways you can start your conversation with your crush and make the moment magical. You can talk about something common between you two such as studies or your surroundings like how beautiful is the weather today, or work etc.
All you need is a little preparation and some thinking to do before you make a move. Starting a conversation with your crush for the first time needs some courage, but trust us it’s all worth it!
Patiently wait for the best timing and place:
Your conversation with your crush for the first time can be awkward and even embarrassing if it is not the right place or timing. It may be so that your crush is in a hurry to go somewhere or the surrounding area is not meant for chitchatting such as a library.
For instance, the teacher is giving a lecture during class, and obviously, you can’t carry out a conversation with your crush during this time, or if this is your colleague and he/she is busy with his/her work you can’t interrupt to initiate a convo.
The best timing and place to start a conversation with your crush for the first time can be a lunch break in school or office, hometime, when the lecture finishes, in the elevator, bus stop, etc. These are some times when you two might be free and ready to talk to one another.
Make sure your crush is not on a phone call or talking to someone else, for example, the person sitting next to them on the bus. You wouldn’t want to interfere or interrupt their talks.
Talk to your crush as if you know him or her:
One way of starting a conversation with your crush the first time is by talking as if you already know or are familiar with them. This will make you feel comfortable while speaking to them. You don’t want to be breathless, shaking, and nervous so act as if they are someone you know.
If they are in your class, let’s suppose, tell yourself that. Tell YOU that he is my class fellow, not an unknown person and you get to see him every day.
One can start the convo even by saying ” Hey! I think I know you…we have met before, isn’t that so? Try to be as natural as possible. Talk like you would with someone you are comfortable with.
Plus, keep your tone and voice friendly even if your crush is a stranger. Some people tend to show some attitude to the people they are not close with or may sound a bit harsh. You don’t want to start a fight with your crush by doing this.
Before starting a conversation, make sure to plan it first. Plan what will you say first and how will the convo continue. Plan it accordingly. This way you will know what the end result would be.
Choose a topic wisely and prepare related questions. Avoid personal questions because that will put your crush in an awkward situation. We need to make them feel comfortable as well so they are willing to continue the conversation.
Opt for open-ended questions. Talk about random stuff like the weather or something in common between you both as I mentioned earlier. Closed-ended questions are short and to the point. One can not keep the chitchat going.
For example, asking what is the time, is a short question and you can not prolong your convo with this. On the other hand, ask questions like” As exams are approaching, how are you going to prepare for them?”
Take notice of their response:
During your conversation, notice how your crush replies or gives feedback. You will instantly get to know whether he or she is interested in your talks or not.
In a text message, for example, your crush’s reply is short and to the point, this shows that they are not interested right now. Maybe it is not the right time as they are busy or just not in the mood.
If this is your situation, it is better to stop there and take a break. You can text them again when it is the right time. Until then, you have to wait patiently otherwise you may piss them off.
In contrast, if they reply positively, it shows that they want to take the conversation to the next level! Asking more questions and replying with longer answers are some hints to tell you that yes they are willing to carry on with this.
This is a golden chance for you to get closer to this person. It could be that you both get so absorbed into the discussion that neither of you notices the time. You look at your watch and an hour has already passed by!
Appropriate body language:
Your body language should match whatever you are saying. It should be friendly and not seem too extra. Just a normal movement of your hand and head will do. Shake your head when you need to and not otherwise
Moving your arms and hands unnecessarily will not be a decent choice. Furthermore, take care of eye contact as well. Do look into your crush’s eyes but not too much that it seems uncomfortable for the both of you. Not looking into the other’s eyes at all will seem rude and awkward.
Pull off a natural smile. You can rehearse this before encountering your crush. A natural smile will look as if the convo is genuine and not pre-planned. Smiling too much will show as if there is something wrong and will look creepy.
We need to look confident so stand up straight with your chest pushed up a bit and head at the right position-not looking high up and not too low. A good posture will do the trick and will give a good impression to your crush.
Don’t rush into starting something off too quick:
As this is the first time you both are verbally communicating so you shouldn’t be expressing your emotions at this time. This is too quick and commitments require time. Get to know each other better first and then start expressing how you actually feel. In other words, take it slow.
Your crush would cut you off instantly if you try to be flirtatious or expose your emotions the first time you interact. Take it easy, give it some time and then ask your crush out. He or she may say ‘YES” this time around. Congratulations already!
Try to keep the convo interactive and interesting so your dream person is willing to invest some time in you and finds you a not-so-boring person!
Take the chance:
Growing up shy, it can be a challenge for you to start a conversation with your crush, that too the first time. But don’t worry, it is better to stand up for what you desire than to regret it later on.
Even if you feel as if that special person is not keen on talking to you, don’t get disheartened. At least in the future you wouldn’t regret not trying and what if your crush comes back to you after some time when they are in a better mood?
You never know! So take every chance you get. Do not miss anyone out just because you are shy or nervous and think this can never happen. Expect the unexpected!
Text message him or her:
You can simply start off with a text message. This will be easier for you as you both are not interacting face to face. Add your crush on Instagram or Snapchat and send a text there or just message them on their number if you have it.
one can also take time to think about what to write before sending. Texts can make a person more open to what they want to say so it is a more comfortable platform to start a conversation. You can even message ” Hey”. Just wait and watch to see how far it goes.
Another pro is that it is not important to respond to the messages instantly. One can always text back whenever they feel like it. So, if by any chance you texted them at the wrong time or place, your crush can reply back to you when it is the best time for them.
Take a deep breath:
Before starting the convo, take a deep breath. This will relax you and will help boost up your confidence. Even during your talk, keep on taking deep breaths. Don’t talk at a fast pace, but pause for a second and breath.
Moreover, chew sugarless gum so your breath freshens up. Avoid eating garlic and onion or any food that contains these. Just sit back, sip a glass of water, and breathe in the fresh air. Good luck!
How to start a conversation with your crush on a phone call?
Now this is another good way of initiating conversation with your crush. Instead of meeting them in person, just call them.
Also, if you had a successful confrontation with your crush and you managed to a earn a good first impression, then chances are that both of you must have exchanged phone numbers.
In this case, being on a phone call appears to be a wise choice. However, you will need to take care of the following steps
Just as I mentioned earlier, just breathe in and relax. First, you would have to prepare yourself mentally and then rehearse what you are going to say.
If your crush contacts you first by any chance and you are too nervous to pick up, then don’t. You can always call them later and apologize that you missed their call. You just have to talk when you feel you are ready otherwise you can ruin the whole scenario.
A casual greeting will be perfect:
You don’t have to look for different greetings to look cool. No, start your phone call with a simple casual greeting such as ” Hey! what’s up?” or ” Hey, how are you? “. Your crush’s response will show you how interested is he/she and are they up for a longer call or not.
They might reply by asking you the same question too and so, you can carry on the convo accordingly. If your crush is in a hurry then you will probably get an idea by their tone and way of speaking.
Also, don’t forget to tell them who you are or who is speaking as your voice may seem different on a phone call than usual and can be unrecognizable.
Keep your tone questionable:
We call others usually for a purpose. We may have to ask or tell something. This is unlike face-to-face conversation where you can comment randomly as well. So, if your crush does not have any questions, then you can ask one.
You can ask about what you didn’t understand in the class, or any upcoming project or event, etc. This will give a hint or a clue that the phone call was for a purpose and so, you both will have a topic to discuss on.
Keep your convo going:
You would have to keep the conversation going. Don’t let it get dry to the point that you both don’t have anything to say and have to end the call soon enough.
Exchange opinions and thoughts on topics you both commonly share. If you talk about stuff that only you know about, your crush would not know what to say. You guys can discuss any mutual friend, group circle, or any social setting that brought you closer to them.
Listen to your crush:
Give your crush a chance to speak as well and listen to what they are saying. People tend to talk about themselves, their opinions, and ideas only. If you also let them have a go on what they have on their mind, I bet they will enjoy this phone call even more!
Do not interrupt them while they are sharing their stories. Let them feel as if they are being listened to and that their opinions do matter.
This way, your crush would also want to take the conversation forward.
Give a response:
After they are done sharing their part of the story, give a response. You can add something to their point which will take the convo to the next level. Add a point or share something relevant.
Make this a two-way communication where you both share your own point of view one by one, discuss them, and respect each other’s opinions as well.
When there is an awkward silence, ask questions. If you do not have much to say, ask them about the details of what they recently just told you.
If you guys have nothing more to say and there is a prolonged silence, then you can try ending the call. You can say that it was nice talking to them and now it is time for you to leave. Compliment them so the convo remains light and positive.
Also, let them know that they are free to contact you later on. If you both go somewhere common, like school or workplace, end the phone call by telling them that let’s meet there.
” Talk to you in office?” or ” see you in class” for instance. If you get a positive answer, then take your time and don’t rush into seeing or talking to them again. Wait for a few days.
If they respond to it negatively, don’t get sad. It could be that they are not et comfortable with you and maybe shy. Give them some time and space. Reach out to them after a few weeks or a month.
After a conversation with your crush for the first time, you may get anxious and nervous. After the talk ends, just cool down a bit. Sit down, take a deep breath and chill out!
This conversation with your crush for the first time is worth celebrating as this is the first step into bringing you both closer to each other. Don’t panic or stress and do your best.
It might even be that you both end up marrying each other! Even if things don’t work out, don’t worry, there is plenty of fish in the sea. You might end up bumping into a new, better one for yourself. You never know!