Relationships are built on the sturdy foundation of love and trust. It requires both partners to invest time and effort. It is not always that tall claims and rosy promises made are able to stand the test of time. If you are in a relationship that has become mentally and emotionally exhausting for you, it is because your boyfriend is not able to reciprocate the feelings and work you have been putting into your relationship lately. It is likely to lead you to believe that his feelings for you might have faded over time when you feel that he doesn’t care about you anymore.
When you feel that you are not getting the attention and care you deserve, it might be time for you to reconsider the possibility of your relationship lasting any longer than what it already has. Do not get desperate and give him the space that he apparently needs. You need to realize the fact you do not need to depend on him for your happiness. If he realizes his mistake and is willing to talk to you, make things clear to him about how you want this relationship to be. On the other hand, if he is relieved by your lack of contact, you should consider leaving him for good.
Facing such a predicament brings a lot of confusion and chaos to your life. As delicate and sensitive the situation possibly is for you, you need to react decisively and make up your mind for the worst probable outcome. Here are a few things you must do in response to your boyfriend’s lack of concern for you.
Give him the space he needs
There can be many reasons for the change in your boyfriend’s attitude. Regardless of whatever the cause may be, it is appropriate for you to distance yourself from him for some time.
Let him figure out his life on his own terms and do not interfere.
By allowing him the space and time he needs, you can prevent the matter from getting any worse on your end.
Constant complaining and any emotional outbursts are likely to escalate an already unpleasant and distressing scenario between you two.
The time you spend alone will also reveal to you whether you are still his priority or not.
Focus on relations that still matter
Relationships are time-consuming and can become quite demanding at times. It can lead you to ignore the family and friends that have always been with you.
For the sake of your partner, you do not mind cutting your family time short. So is the case with your friends. Any free time you get is instantly engrossed by your relationship.
A failure in a relationship opens your eyes to the people who are actually important to you.
Instead of making futile efforts of convincing your boyfriend, spend time with your family and friends and savor these vintage bonds.
Find your bliss and happiness
One thing that will dawn upon you once you are spending time alone is the fact that you are a much happier person now. You do not need your boyfriend to value your life or bring about some optimism in it.
You can be happy being by yourself and not depending upon anyone else. Pick up new hobbies and interests and start making your own decisions, rather than being preoccupied with the thoughts of how your boyfriend might perceive it. Own your life and find joy in new ventures and experiences.
Have an honest conversation with him
Before you make up your mind and take any impulsive decision, it is quite appropriate for both of you to talk about your relationship. Do not shy away from asking tough questions.
Both of you need clarity in your life at this point. To engage in a constructive discourse that will bring certainty and transparency to your relationship. On the contrary, if he admits that he doesn’t feel about you the same way he used, understand the sooner you end this relationship, the better. Whichever way this chat goes, at the end of it you’ll know what your next step is going to be.
Don’t get desperate for his attention
Begging for his attention while you are not his top priority will have you compromise your dignity and self-esteem. You must realize and accept the reality of the situation for what it is.
Pursuing any wishful thoughts will only delay the inevitable. Rather, invest time in yourself and think about your goals in life. Investing your feelings in such a one-sided relationship will stall your progress. You can’t force a person to feel a certain way. If there’s no evident hope of him changing, you better leave this relationship for your own sake.
Invest in yourself
Toxic relationships are mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t need to endure the humiliation of being ignored anymore after you know for a fact that how you feel does not affect your partner.
As an alternative, spend your time working hard and improving your resume. Become a better professional and a better human.
Start off by withdrawing yourself from your relationship on a temporary basis and focus on the job at hand.
Keeping yourself busy with work and embracing new and diverse challenges will be a breath of fresh air to you.
Get tired of trying to keep up with deadlines, in lieu of striving hard just to get noticed enough by your boyfriend who doesn’t care about you. Rediscover yourself and realize the changes that you need to make in yourself. Create a strong and secure future for yourself and focus your energy on self-improvement.
Consider breaking up
When all your efforts and attempts to reconcile and rejuvenate your relationship become fruitless, you might consider leaving him for good.
Lingering on with such a relationship is bound to bring you disappointment only. The correct way to get rid of this plight is by breaking up with your boyfriend.
It might be hard right now for you to make up your mind for a breakup, but months later when you look back, you will know it was the right decision that you took. Such unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships are likely to cause lasting trauma if not abandoned sooner. It is not worth putting up with so much insensitivity and apathy.
Accept the reality and move on
Your relationship was not meant to last any longer. Although this was obvious to you for quite some time, you chose to ignore it and hoped that things would get better with time.
You need to move on and accept the fact that your relationship is headed towards an unavoidable termination. Anyone taking you for granted does not deserve you. Do not hesitate or feel any guilt when deciding to break up with him. The reality of the situation is very apparent, and there are not many options left for you. Life is too short to live with any regrets and grief, move on for your sake. If you choose to stay, you will comprehend the fact that moving is not a choice, it is a necessity.
When your boyfriend ignores you for quite a long time, he probably wants to end the relationship but does not have the guts to tell you. The best decision you can make is to give him what he wants.
The more you chase him, the farther he will try to get out of your reach. Your confidence and self-esteem will be dented when you end up looking like a fool when this fiasco is over. Life is too short to spend on someone who wouldn’t respect your feelings and efforts. You need to break up before it gets any worse. Walk away from this relationship and let him realize what he has lost. If you keep lingering on, it is highly likely that he will keep treating you the way he already was.
It becomes indispensable for you to quit this relationship because of how emotionally draining it was for you. Instead of suffering, you deserve much better. Burn all the bridges and sever your bond.
Be with the people who respect your hard work in making them feel better and are able to reciprocate. Holding onto a relationship with someone who treats you like nobody will encourage him to do so more often.
What should you do if your ex-boyfriend wants to come back?
Guys often realize what they have lost when it is too late. If you are facing such a situation, make sure you do not allow him an easy chance to get back to you. Make him earn his second chance by putting conditions and stipulations. Ask him to compromise where you feel it is necessary. Do not rush things. Instead, take your time evaluating his commitment and sincerity. Question him about where things went wrong last time and how he is willing to make sure it never happens again.
Have a meaningful and serious conversation about what you want from your relationship and what is the ultimate goal you have in mind. Come up with a tangible plan, considering the pragmatic reality of life.
Any relationship based on mere romanticism is prone to collapsing, sooner than later. Make sure you do not put your futures at stake and your goals do not prove a formidable hurdle for your relationship. Plan everything ahead of the curve.
What are the signs that you need to move on from the relationship?
You know that your relationship is no longer secure when you do not trust your partner. If breached once, it is very hard to gain one’s trust back. Another sign of a toxic relationship is that it becomes much more demanding over time without giving anything back in return. No matter how hard you try to please your partner, it is never enough. He does not give you the attention or respect you deserve and makes you feel guilty for not doing enough.
When the relationship is bringing you more pain than joy, it is not worth it. You might be inclined towards giving your partner the benefit of the doubt every time, but nothing changes.
Despite you making a lot of effort, your partner feels the need to stay alone. Your relationship can become detrimental to your professional or academic life by consuming most of your focus and time. Slowly but surely, you start to drift apart and you realize that your relationship has cost you a lot. You wish you had moved on earlier.
At the end…
With the passage of time in a relationship, it is possible for a partner to lose interest. When you feel that your boyfriend doesn’t care about you anymore, take a step back and let him have things his way. Stay away from the relationship and focus on your friends and family, as well as invest in yourself. Try to make things clear between the both of you without getting desperate for his attention. Lastly, if there is no hope left of him changing, consider breaking up with him and moving on to better things in life. Don’t feel any guilt, because life is too short to be wasted on people who take you for granted.