Here’s a thought. What Really Makes Us Happy?
It isn’t much of a surprise that majority of us are surviving with our lives, holding on to that paycheck we get at the end of every month. We are living on the budgets we make every month, trying to control our spending’s so we can save something up. Even researchers have proven that 76% of Americans are the ones who live in the hope of their paychecks.
So anyway, if you are done with the math of your paycheck lives, have you heard of the quotation?
Whatever you do, make sure it makes you happy. -Anonymous
Ask hundred different people about what makes them happy and you will get a hundred different answers. Happiness is now a personal matter and everyone has set their personal parameters for it. Each person is going to give you at least 3-4 things that make them happy. They might say a new car, a new house, a shopping spree every month or maybe dining out in the best restaurants. But one thing is going to be common amongst 97% people (that are my personal thought calculations) and that is that their happiness will be relying on materialistic things.
How would you always stay happy and full of life constantly? In this, we need to show you 10 ways that are experimentally demonstrated to stay happy. In any case, if this does not persuade you, then we seriously don’t recognize what will! Staying happy is the key to life and health.
What Really Makes Us Happy And Why?
We have heard people say that materialistic things bring in temporary happiness and that it won’t last long (heard that, been there and done that also, right? Then;
What makes us happy?
I also love the day when my salary gets transferred to my account. I work because of that day, to be honest. But that isn’t real happiness. You dine out and hang out with friends and when your money starts ending, you get this hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach. The happiness vanishes away and you again wait for the day your salary will be transferred to your account. Is that REAL happiness now?
Happiness is not a destination. It is not a final stop, where you wish to reach the end of a nightmare. You can never grab it for a lifetime and keep it in a jar so you can open it anytime you feel low. Happiness is an emotion or it will be better to say that it is a timely emotion. You cannot be happy 24/7 as humans are flooded with emotions and feelings which never remain the same. They keep changing with the passage of time and the circumstances.
Real happiness exists in small moments. It is within you. It comes with a positive attitude and lifestyle. Happiness is not about the best and luxurious car and it cannot be bought with all the money in your bank. It is in that small moment when your mother kisses you goodnight or tells you about how proud she is.
Happiness lies within those couple of minutes when you are able to say “yes, I did it” when you actually thought you would fail at it. It is when you conquer your fears and smile to what the world has to offer you. So real happiness is not about money or fame (they will soon vanish), it is all about positivity, goodness, kindness, and love.
Why is Real Happiness Not Money?
A lot of people question you when you say that happiness is not money. They will say shopping makes us happy and money can help us do that, so isn’t money happiness? They will name several things that make them happy and will highlight the fact that only money can bring them that. To some extent, these people aren’t wrong.
We are breathing in a society where we aren’t even humans anymore; we are machines. Machines that are indulged into earning heaps of money so that they can bring satisfaction and leisure in their life!!But I obviously have reasons to why money is not happy and how or why the smaller things, the moments and memories are what real happiness is all about.
Memories Last for a Lifetime:
Money is going to bring in temporary happiness and the list of demands will increase. However, a single memory or a photograph brings you happiness for free. It makes you smile when you really don’t want to. At the same time, it has the power to make you cry when you think that money is the only happiness that you need because, at that given moment, happiness is about the person in that memory or anything else.
Positivism Gives you a Permanent Content Feeling:
Negative thoughts will make you wander far away from happiness. This is where positive thinking does the miracle and brings in happiness. Money sometimes drives a lot of negativity into your life as you are constantly in a tug of war. Positivism makes you free of such barriers and allows you to pursue real happiness.
Is Money your Only Aim?
Have you ever questioned yourself regarding what you really want from your life? Is it just that pay at the end of the month? Or is it playing guitar or maybe painting your world with your own colors? Whatever you think is you love doing that is where your real happiness lies. So make sure you make some time for it.
I can write a lot about what real happiness is apart from just money. We all have those moments which make us feel the pursuit of happiness at its peak. To wrap it all up, happiness is not just you working day and night to earn a luxurious life. It is when you say that you have done what you loved. It is when you know that your life is leading where you want it to and you are not just a workaholic.
Happiness is not permanent. So enjoy the moments you can grab in the name of happiness and joy.
Say yes to more workouts
The majority of studies have proven this point.
Practicing it releases endorphins with the goal that you are dependably in a better position after a workout or just a stroll to the store.
We have never met a man in an awful tendency after a workout! But we all rely on proofs, don’t we?
The University of Toronto made an investigation with regards to exercise and state of mind.
The conclusion was that physical action can and helps to keep sadness away and to remain happy and alert for a long time.
Know that positive intuition influences your execution
Positive reasoning raises vitality levels, innovativeness, and profitability by 30%.
The mystery is to utilize positive thinking now, as opposed to when you are rich and acclaimed.
Think positive and influence others to think positive as well. A mind with positive thoughts generates great health for a long time.
Always stay happy by removing negative thoughts
Stop Thinking negative. A few people are overpowered by their unfavorable contemplations and they have genuine issues in disposing them.
A University of Madrid study found this fact correct by bringing all the facts together and doing great research as well.
They suggested that you destroy them, toss them in the waste or smolder them but you don’t and should not embrace negative thoughts.
The reality of disposing of them physically helps in diminishing their harmful impacts. Analysts recommend doing this all the time.
Treasure your encounters more than your belonging
Thomas Gilovich, a clinician at Cornell University has done a considerable amount of research with reference to why it is ideal to treasure important and charming encounters as opposed to the material things we purchase.
There are numerous purposes behind this as sketched out in his study distributed in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
It is found that people who value their social relations more than finances are always happy in their lives.
Record why you are appreciative
Feeling and pondering the things you are thankful for, is an awesome approach to be joyful. Feel happy for what you have. Look below yourself and be satisfied with all the blessings that God has showered upon you.
When you wake up, help yourself rationally to remember three things that you can be thankful for.
Some individuals want to record three things and keep the rundown to remind them from time to time.
What does care mean?
It just implies that you think and give careful consideration to the present minute and acknowledge it in a non-judgmental manner.
This is presently turning into a well-known pattern in brain science and medicine. At the point when done routinely, it can help temperament, reduce stress levels, and turn into a better sense of satisfaction.Concentrate on the present minute implies that you can appreciate touch, smell, and other physical sensations. Focus on the delight they are giving you. It is truly successful in disregarding the past and not worrying about future.
Concentrate on the present minute implies that you can appreciate touch, smell, and other physical sensations. Focus on the delight they are giving you. It is truly successful in disregarding the past and not worrying about future.
When you don’t get enough rest, your pessimism assumes control for sure.
This was the conclusion scientists came to after a few investigations.
One of these is especially fascinating. The specialists researched on the centers which are the part of the brain which forms our positive thoughts.
When we are restless, this capacity begins to whine.
Find a little time to helping other people
Individuals purchase greater houses, cars, and cell phones, however, it doesn’t appear to expand their general delight in the long haul, in spite of the fact that it may bring about a brief spike in satisfaction.
That is brief. Analysts have found that when we take out a little time or cash to help other people, this significantly affects our own mood.
Concentrate on the life you need to live
The heart goes where the head takes it, and neither thinks much about the whereabouts of the feet.
– Dr. Daniel Gilbert.
We frequently discuss winning the lottery and where we would go or more all that we would purchase. We may even discuss providing for philanthropy.
However, we never or once in a while discuss what our perspective would be and how much more joyful and cheerful we would be.
This is the reason concentrating on needs to get the life you need to live be so imperative.
Life Lessons To Stay Happy
Everybody thinks of being happy in life, in somewhat a different way. If you lose both of your legs (God forbid that ever happens to anyone in life) what do you think will make you happier: “Getting those legs back?” or “a billion dollars?” People synthesize happiness/being happy in life, in many different ways and most of them think that they will be happy if they become famous, rich, have exotic cars, fancy homes and the list goes on and on, and there is no end to this. I have learned a lot on happiness and I think my all life lessons on being happy can all be summarized in the way of how positive I think.
“There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
Money and fame, these are the two things in life which we think we need to run after in order to be happy. When a child is born, her unhappy mother doesn’t say that she’s perfect, instead she says “I am going to make you perfect, you will go into Harvard medical School one day and you will become a great doctor and you will be successful and be happy in life”. The point is from day one, this poor girl is hard-wired to struggle in life and she is made to believe that she is only worthy if she works in life. Society tells us how to be happy in life! This is what we are, this is what our life has become, this is what our society has made us and “the rules of being happy” We need to get out of it right now in order to be truly happy in life. Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t be a doctor if that is your passion, sure, go after it. But if you are made to go into that field then you will be unhappy. Catch my drift? Anyways I have some cool points which I learned in my life and which taught me how to be truly happy.
Let me share with you 4 Life lessons on being happy:
I Developed Relations:
Almost 75 years ago from now a research “Harvard Study of Adult Development” was started. Click here to read more about it on Wikipedia.
It was conducted on 724 men, out of which only 60 are still alive and research is still going on.
It’s the biggest research program that was ever dedicated to finding the key to happiness, and what they found was really simple “True happiness comes from healthy relations.”
Not wealth, not fame just healthy relationships and again no money!!
Good relationships keep us healthier and happier.
The research was made on many different people and the ones who were connected more socially lived a happier and longer life, and on the other hand, people, who kept themselves isolated from others were less happy and were mostly suffering from depression. I think maybe that is the reason why we get married in the first place, to keep ourselves happier. Now I know that most of the marriages end up in divorces but still, we act upon it right? And we take a chance in building those relationships. Divorces aren’t stopping people from getting married because deep down we know that this will make us really happy yet we were never aware of it. Anyways ever since I started working to get more involved in relations, with my family and my friends, by sharing a lot and listening to them, I have seen a change in my life. I feel that I am much happier than I was before. And let me tell you, sharing helps a lot. In fact, I wrote a whole another article on “why sharing makes us happy?” Click here. Sharing is a great feeling. When you just let out all your problems and vulnerabilities to somebody, you get a feeling of relaxation.
Sometimes you even reach a solution. So share and let it all out. There is always this one friend you can rely on completely. NO?
Well, You can always contact me!
I Started Living in the NOW:
“True happiness is to enjoy the present. Without anxious dependence upon the future.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
What a well said the description of true happiness. Indeed many of us who are not happy right now is because we don’t live in the present. Whenever people ask us about love, we tell them about our heartbreaks, when they ask us about connections we tell them stories of disconnection. When they ask us about trust, we tell em’ about getting deceived.
Because we are stuck in our past. And when you are stuck in your past, you can never be happy.
In fact, people actually become a victim of depression.
These people are still living in their past. They think of all the bad things that happened to them, most of their time, are scared to work because they failed in the past, are scared to love again because they got their hearts broken. And can’t trust anybody because they have been deceived so many times. In order to be truly happy, we have to move on from our past. We have to think logically and understand that thinking about the past won’t do any good.
I learned to let go of my past by practicing to not to think about it, let me explain by quoting a little something from my other article (Getting over your breakup the quick way!)
If you have ever tried to play a guitar you would have noted that it’s too hard to put your fingers around a chord at first, and you literally have to take the help of your other hand to place those fingers on the right strings, but if you keep on practicing you start doing it out of nowhere without any help.
My point is that there’s always a first step that you have to take and that is the hardest one.
So take that first step and stop thinking so much about your past. Bring it down. Involve yourself in other activities. The more you think of them, the more readily available they will be to your brain, so start trying to avoid them. Keep yourself busy. Take that first step, It will get easier by time.
I Changed My Attitude:
Let me tell you a little something about myself. When I was a teenager I used to fight a lot with my family and friends. I stayed isolated most of the time. I preferred playing my guitar alone all the time. Being there with no good friends back then and I was pretty damn unhappy, in fact, was actually depressed, but somehow I managed to survive all that and before I could become any worse, I found out that I had an attitude problem, only I was the one who was making myself depressed and so I decided to do something about it. You can read much of it in this above article
But the summary is I started calming myself down. Started to treat people nicely. Started controlling my anger by channeling it to positivism.
And changed my attitude. It was tough at first but by the time I learned all of those things (like controlling my anger, staying calm in tough situations, not quarreling on useless topics with other and not over-reacting to things). Most of all staying calm.
It’s just amazing how much my life has changed because of me working on those things. My depression was mild so I was able to get over it, but still, it didn’t happen overnight, I mean I worked a lot on my anger issues and my frustration problems and all that. The purpose of telling you all this is that you should start taking care of yourself, see if you have similar problems to mine and If so try to fix them.
You can get over it with some work but
It will not happen overnight and you have to give it some time, look at yourself and see if you are having the same issues and if so then you should start controlling your emotions. Stop getting involved in useless quarrels. Learn to forgive and forget and count your blessings, be thankful for them all. Instead of just getting stuck in the negatives, learn to let go. I know it’s easy to just say it, but if I start explaining how to do them all one by one, precisely, I think this article would never end but still If I were, to sum up the whole solution in a few words, I’d say meditate daily (doesn’t matter if it’s only for 10 minutes) It helped me a lot in reducing my stress.
I Built Confidence:
One of the important things to be happy that I learned in life was that, if you are confident and have self-esteem, you will be much happier in life.
What is confidence? It’s simply believing in yourself. Those who are depressed have low levels of confidence, simply because they don’t believe in themselves. They fail and never try again, lose and never bother to chase after it. And when they hear a negative comment and take it to the heart. Remember you will always fail, always lose and there are critics everywhere, but how much BS of this can you take and still smile back is really a signal of how confident you are. And;
Confidence = Happiness.
A Confident person would always take an optimistic approach and try again and again. He/she will have “So what?” attitude.
If they lose, they won’t give up. If they get a negative remark, they won’t worry because they really know who they really are. Ever wondered, (giving an example in general here), if you do something really good and with your full hard-work like you built a school project, and someone comes up and say something like “what a piece of crap”
Now you can do three things here:
1- You can take an optimistic approach and ignore that rude person.
2-You can take it to your heart and not sleep that night and stay depressed all day long.
Now it all depends on you! It’s all about your mindset guys. If you always keep “No problem I will try this again” attitude, you will never be sad and unhappy. You can read on how to boost your confidence and self-esteem in this link “Boost your confidence today!”
Look being happy comes down to this: Stay in healthy relationships, connect with your friends and family, no matter how much they irritate you because you know deep down they all love you very much. Don’t worry about the things that happened in the past. You don’t have a “time machine” to fix all those things that happened to you. Enjoy the now, forget the rest. And don’t be a Grumpy Cat. Nobody likes a person with a bad attitude, calm yourself, don’t get mad at others too quickly and think before you speak so that you may not hurt anybody unintentionally. And above all understand that these are all life lessons, It’s going to take some time before you can completely implement all of them. I’d say, work on them one by one. Also boost your confidence, don’t worry about failures and negative remarks, ignore. Keep working. Those same people will be appreciating you one day, you will see… Keep it up and be a confident Person.
3 Things To Let Go To Become Genuinely Happy
Are You Happy? No I mean really happy? Being really happy is being happy from inside. Internal happiness. So how to find internal happiness in order to be genuinely happy? Lets find out. The idea of things and possessions making us happy is nothing else than an illusion. If possessions could make you happy; why are some of the filthiest rich people depressed with their lives? If I had a Lamborghini Aventador, I would have been happy until riding in it becomes more of a just daily routine than a craze. Its human nature and we can’t deny it, we get tired of everything.
You desire for one thing and you do feel that extra adrenaline rush when you get it. But what after 3 months of getting it? You start to desire something new.
So eventually, not any possession (at least materialistic possession) can grant you a forever happiness ingredient. Until and unless you possess someone’s love, care, and heart. Does that sound too dramatic? But again it’s true. Putting our happiness in people, things, and past, is forgetting that it is something that comes from within.
Why not trying letting go off things? But why do people always refer to letting go of relationships, friends, and people? There are so many other things that can be dumped, to gain happiness and to make it come from within us.
How To Find Internal Happiness
You might be thinking I am crazy but you need to read about what you need to let go, to be genuinely happy.
True Happiness doesn’t come with Possessions:
Money Money Money, right? But can I say NO here? This huge misconception has completely changed the meaning of real happiness. We think that money, or a cool sports car, or a new huge mansion can bring us the world’s best happiness. Can we just quit this concept? We believe that our lives will have peace and joy if we have a luxurious life! What if the happiness doesn’t come from within you even then? Does that money take you anywhere, where you feel content with your life? Are you content then? The same is with relationships. We think that our partner makes us the happiest person on this Earth. But he or she are humans also and they might not be happy from the inside on their own. So how can they promise you happiness? Peek inside and look what makes you happy! Find it externally and on your own. Once you know how to be happy on your own and with little things; you will genuinely be happy.
Let Go whatever is not in your Control:
The worst part is when we try to control situations we have totally no control over. Your boyfriend is marrying someone else and then you try to destroy it (if you are a Gossip Girl fan). Nothing will happen! Isn’t this example a bit too dramatic? Anyhow, what if you break your mum’s favorite cup and you sit there trying to do something about it. Can you fix it? No, you cannot. Trying to make things work out the way they should, rather than letting them go, is what brings in unhappiness in the long run. Just let go what you can’t control. Go with the flow.
Let go People (who Don’t do Anything Good for your Present):
You can let go of them in Karate style like over here. Just an example. We all have people who are negative all the time. They dust our vision and block our happiness. It can be so difficult to let them go because you know them since years. But what if they aren’t serving you with anything good and positive? Why remain on the same path? Sometimes you do need to change the direction so that you can lead to somewhere better. So sometimes, you need to let go of people who are no good for your life. Don’t surround yourself with crybabies and negative people. And if you are a negative person yourself; please don’t mess with anyone’s life with your thoughts. Let others be in peace.
Happiness can be your favorite ice-cream, your favorite movie or maybe your favorite game. It is more than just your girlfriend (and vice versa), your new house, your new job or car. Move out of the concept that possessing the best things is going to make you happy. Happiness is about giving and getting love in return. It is so much more than what we speculate it as. I mean, a person who loves reading, will find genuine happiness in a library. A person who loves to eat will be crazily happy to try out a new restaurant. Let happiness emerge from within you, rather than from people around you. Once you learn how to be alone and comfortable with your own self, you will know what actually makes you happy. This world cannot bring happiness to you as it is as temporary as you are. Happiness is not with them or on the other side; it is with you and on your own side.
If you are happy for a reason, you are in danger. Why? The reason can end or can be taken away from you anytime. Be happy like a child; be happy without a reason.