Nothing compares to that feeling of something burning inside you when love walks out of your life. Even if there was nothing left to save, the hurt remains. It kills us from inside, chokes us and makes us feel as if we are dying. Why? Well, only because we lose that first love feeling.
To love and to be loved, is to feel the sun from both sides-David Viscot
But we don’t; we survive through it and it all depends on how we manage to that.
We are not what we become, we are what we choose to become.
Breakups hurt. It is really tough to actually love all over again when you have been hurt immensely.
It seems impossible. We all know that feel because we have either been there or maybe some of you might be going through it right now. It seems as if we never trusted anyone ever again in context with the word “love.”
We think that loving anyone doesn’t remain an option in our lives. This does happen; I am not denying it at all. Disappointment leads to giving up on the idea of love or the love of your life.
But, if you give yourself a chance to experience all those butterflies, amazing moments and love all over again; maybe your luck just works this time.
Love never waves you a goodbye; it remains in your life. Yes, you might be dissatisfied but by rejecting it, again and again, you might be missing on some of the best moments or feelings of your life.
Every time you love, you get a new set of feelings and they can be good and bad both. But as easy as it might be to write this down, a lot of people would need a proper method to actually open up to love again.
It’s no recipe obviously (or else I would have given you the best ingredients) but here are some tips that can help you along the way.
1. It is Past:
Heartbreaks keep aching till long. Even when they are long gone, the hurt keeps kicking in time and time and over and over again. But, you can’t permit it to kick you wherever you go. You can’t carry it along with you like a toddler. I agree, it is so hard to forget it but, you cannot allow your past to be your basis of judgment, whenever you meet someone who has the potential to actually love you, the way you have always wanted.
The thing is crystal clear; someone who hurt you in the past will obviously won’t be able to offer you anything different in the future or present. Even when there thought hurts, how can they be your option at all? So let the waves come in and go out but don’t let your past define your future decisions. Accept the fact that it was your past and you can’t undo it.
2. You Have Gotta Trust the Universe:
You don’t know what might come up on the right turn, you are about to take. It might be stuck in traffic, you might meet up with an accident or maybe you might just end up at your place safe and sound! We are all unaware of what might happen next, right? So why do we have to figure everything out like we are the planners? Making efforts to change your luck is determination and that is what helps you out a lot. But in terms of love; you need to trust the universe.
What if your life has some amazing plans for you? Maybe those plans have fewer heartaches and tears this time? Trust the universe and go with the flow. Never abandon yourself to emotions.
3. Carry the Lessons Along:
When I say dig it all in the past I don’t mean to say that forget what it taught you. Every heartache has a lesson. Even when you break up with someone on the right terms, you get to see the pros and cons of yourself and the person you were with. And that obviously teaches you some lessons.
The best way to open yourself to love again is to keep the lessons in your pocket. Never make the same mistakes again due to which your girlfriend or boyfriend left you. And don’t do stuff that made you the bad guy. As I said, take the lessons and throw the rest behind.
4. Don’t let it make You Bitter:
It is really easy to get the negative vibes all the time when you have been hurt. It feels like every single person out there is just going to hurt you or is trying to do something awful to you. But don’t let the heartbreak do that to you.
It is easy to actually blame someone else and hate each person you meet. What takes heart and soul is to forgive people. I might sound a minimalist though but you can also look into their reasons; maybe they left because of something or maybe they did well to you. Even when the reasons are too blurry to view at that given moment; try the power of forgiveness. Don’t let it make you bitter.
Trust in the fact that, that specific person was just not the best for you. Maybe there is someone even better out there, waiting for you. As I mentioned above, we are not what situations make us, we are what we choose to become.
5. Don’t shut off emotions, find that first love feeling again:
The majority does this and I am in the same group. Or let’s say I used to be. We believe that building up walls will save us. But actually, it is the major thing that is drowning us.
Looking at love with the negative eye will make life harder.
Shutting your emotions down will make you more of a bitter person with each passing day and you won’t be a happier version of you at all. Remember, that love will always come and go. You need to learn to surf the waves rather than giving up and drowning!
6. Be Honest to YOURSELF:
All we want is to blame others for the hurt. We feel like the world conspired against us, to get us away from that person. We don’t see their side and who cares about that? All we care about is the fact that we got hurt and the entire world could go to hell, right? But you need, to be honest with yourself.
Who went wrong? Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them and sometimes it’s both of you and sometimes the time and luck aren’t just good enough! Fears and insecurities are a great reason why a lot of couples break up these days. Just remember one thing; problems never occur from one side especially when it comes to relationships. It is always a two-sided issue, however, the contribution varies.
Be honest as to how much did you contribute to the breakup and pin them down. Accept your faults and learn from them. Get up and move onwards.
7. Love is a RISK; Accept it:
Love never comes with a lifetime guarantee and it is always risky. Opening your feelings to someone and making them see under your skin, enter your soul and every little tiny detail of you being exposed to them, is a big risk. What if they leave? The outcome is never ever guaranteed. So are you never going to love again?
Remember one thing; some risks are worth it! Sometimes the risk is what keeps you alive and makes you feel the best ever feelings of your life. Think before you shut down feelings for someone; maybe they are all you wanted!
8. Take your Time:
It’s never good to try moving on within a day or two. You need to take the time to heal. Yes, you aren’t supposed to cry for months or years. You just need to give yourself some time to heal. Cry your nose off, make that pillow feel sorry to be in your room, hug your teddy bear if that makes you feel better, sit on the bathroom floor wondering what went wrong and all that stuff that comes along with the “after breakup” package.
But be sure that you are not going to allow yourself to cry for years to come!
2-3 weeks is all that you need to allow yourself for healing and then move on. Don’t live for them and don’t wait for them. Embrace your life.
Heartache can do a lot bad to you. It can break you into pieces but, you need to pick those broken pieces and move on. Maybe your fate guy or girl is waiting for you out there. LOVE is always a risk and you don’t need to find a perfect one. Everyone is going to hurt you in life. You just need to find someone who is worth getting hurt for. Someone who means a lot to you and be sure that the sun is burning from both the sides. Never let the flames of one-sided love burn you.
Open your arms to embrace love again in life because it does make life beautiful. People who have experienced the warmth of it will agree with me. Don’t close yourself to love. Let the healing process be gradual and don’t jump into another pool right away. But don’t abandon yourself from love for a lifetime.